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Crushing Krisis

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thoughts

December 4, 2000 by krisis

Me and theatre is ugly. I found out today while at the seasonal choir and band concerts that i don’t like watching large ensembles of performers… i like situations where i can focus on a single person. I’m like that at rock concerts too – i pick one member of the band at a time and zero in on them to the point of excluding everything else that’s happening. What it comes down to is that theatre was the only way for me to be on stage in high school, but now it’s not. When i started doing theatre, my only skills were my loudness and my huge memorization ability, so theatre was the only thing for me. But, i developed other skills like public speaking and guitar playing and emceeing events while i never developed (or cared to develop) those essential skills of getting into character and moving comfortably on stage. And here we are. I jumped at the chance to do theatre when i got to Drexel, and i had fun doing it because of the people i met, but by the end of last year i realized that the only character i was interested in playing was myself (evidenced in how pissed off i was initially when i didn’t get into hair, a show about long-haired singing teenagers). I tried out for the fall show, but as you can see in the archives, i hardly cared when i didn’t get in. And now auditions are on tuesday, and getting a part partially or totally precludes me from guitar ensemble, active participation in the newspaper, and running Battle of the Bands effectively. And i’m expected to be there.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1550383/

Filed Under: high school, theatre, thoughts

1550302

December 4, 2000 by krisis

I think everyone considers me so extroverted because of my introversion; i spend so much time spinning thoughts around in my head by myself that when i’m unleashed onto the public i’m this unstoppable whirlwind of energy and chatter. So, maybe i need all this downtime to be as happy as i am. At the same time, i don’t have as many friends right now as i did this time last year because i never see anyone. One factor in that is theatre… ugh. I don’t like to act. I am bad at it. I hate being in boring shows just because they’re what’s around to do. And one is coming up… good person of sezuan, a show i don’t like one bit. And there aren’t any characters who i want to be. And i’m going to be too busy next semester anyway. And i seem to have been drafted. To the theatre i am a warm body and a resource; the director knows i have a certain amount of potential and that i work very hard and so he basically made sure to make me agree to work in the show before i could decide if i liked it or not. So, now if i don’t show up at auditions, it’s a personal afront more than it is a statement about my opinions on the show. Isn’t life nice?

Filed Under: introversion, isolation, theatre, thoughts, Year 01

1550257

December 4, 2000 by krisis

People never believe me when i tell them i’m an introvert. How could i be? I’m the friendliest most open person in the world! This might be true, but that side of me is only available when i’m around other people, and those times are often few and far between. I have so much introvertedness in my system, probably from being an only child without any local friends to hang around with. What i wound up with is my own continuity inside of my head that no one else gets to share in. Except you. I suppose at its heart this has been about emptying the contents of my head out so that i know that someone else can hear them and recognizing, even from my first posts. The question is, … is this a healthy exercise, or does it just worsen matters? I suppose that there’s no way to tell, but in general the less i interact with other real people the worse off i am.

Filed Under: introversion, only childness, self-critique, thoughts

December 2, 2000 by krisis

I now officially have a favourite cover with which to gauge an artist’s interpretive ability, and it’s Big Star’s “thirteen.” So far i only have heard it rendered by Garbage (US “push it” single and live) and Elliott Smith (unreleased or live), but i know there’s a version floating around by Wilco and that several bands cover the tune live. It’s sweet enough and simple enough that a whole ton of things can be done with it, which is why it’s so interesting. If you find a rendition by any other band, let me know, and maybe we can trade versions.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1538832/

Filed Under: thoughts Tagged With: Garbage

December 2, 2000 by krisis

Come on, hit me with your best shot!

[Ed. Note: That used to be an AOL Instant Messenger Link that would spawn a chat window with the message “So, you’re only interested in cute girls, huh? Can i punch you anyway?”]

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1538789/

Filed Under: thoughts

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