Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

health

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I love my mother. I mean… i really hate her sometimes, and i get really frustrated by the fact that we’re both still in Philadelphia so it’s easy for her to sink her claws into my life at a moment’s notice, but there are times when those claws come in pretty handy.

Case and point: right now i’m actually reading my email. Now, for all of you net-junkies this might not seem like such a big deal, but i’m currently tethered up to an IV pole on the sixth floor of Graduate Hospital, and apparently they haven’t implemented a “net access for patients” policy at this point. Of course, being totally addicted to the internet, i was markedly more upset by my inability to blog than the fact that i wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything for 48 hours, and i made it known to anyone who would listen.

My mother happens to work downstairs in the ER, and after a particularly long kvetch that involved me telling her i was going to unhook my saline drip and jog to the internet cafe on Walnut street she disappeared for five minutes only to return with the head doctor of the ER in tow.

With his Macintosh G3 powerbook, and internet connection.

So, here i am, trailing tiny translucent tubes that are supplying me with saline, potassium, Solu-Madrol, and Matronidazol and barely allowed to drink 8oz of white grape juice every hour. And happy.

I love my mom.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/12/7558887/

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Why, yes, life is exactly like that. However did you know?


Ah, the joys of our wondrous network of over-taxed collegiate bloggers. And, look, it only took three years of college to leave me vaguely stressed out.

Last night i came home miserable, which hardly surprised me — any day started off with a Venti Latté is bound to end up in tears or with me bouncing down the sidewalk like a Mexican jumping bean. Anyhow, my favorite two ways to cure misery are spending money and eating (yes, i know, it’s a very health set of habits). However, my attempt at the former was foiled by the bookstore ordering the wrong edition of the book i needed, so when i got home i was ready to do some serious binge-eating. At my disposal i had ice cream, ramen, pop-tarts, and all other manner of collegiate waste. Did i go for any of that? Nooooo. No, instead i decided to order a gastro-intenstinal nightmare sandwich with a side of cardiac arrest.


AKA : chicken cheesesteak w/extra cheese and a large side of cheese fries. Yes, you’re right, i could never be a vegan. Thanks for noticing.

Chicken cheesesteaks are a phenomenon i was just introduced to last year when i finally came off my vegetarian kick, and they’ve been one of the junkfood mainstays of my diet ever since. Somehow the two or three places where i obtain this death on a bun use incredibly lean and well cooked chicken, which is exactly why i don’t eat the beef variety: they’re nasty. However, the establishment i ordered from last night doesn’t use that lean, healthy chicken, but instead something i am currently referring to as “cheef.” Sure, it tasted nice and carnivorous on the way down, but not even a protective layer of deep fried potatos and cheese wiz could protect me from the wratch of cheef.


Said wrath basically is that over 24hours later my stomach is still twisted in knots in an attempt to cleanse itself from the greasy chow i crammed into it last night, and the only two options i’m seriously contemplating right now are an immediate switch to vegetarianism to placate my distressed digestive system, or a slightly more sinister plan than involves a lot of porcelain.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/11/7493884/

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Okay, this could just be the potential alcoholic in me talking, but if my throat hurts and my tonsils look angry doesn’t it make sense that i should gargle with some vodka? I mean, … it’s gonna kill germs and stuff, and it’ll make my throat a little numb. All in all it sounds like a Good Idea.


Or, we could just check me into Betty Ford now and get it over with…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/11/7016921/

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I’m typically a two meals a day kind of guy, at best. It’s really more like one meal and a package of pop tarts. I haven’t gone an entire week of eating what amounts to breakfast, lunch, and dinner since before the beginning of highschool. Even when i was in Boston where i was sure to eat breakfast and dinner (typically the hardest meals to get me to sit still for) i still managed to skip out on lunch each day. Sometimes i come upon unusual days of low energy and high appetite, but they are few and far between. Until last week.

Within the last week i have slowly but surely been sneaking ever-so-close to three meals a day; not the most solid three meals in the world, or the most healthy, but three distinct servings at three separate times of day. In theory i’m all for this; i have no problem spending money on food if i’m actually going to consume and enjoy it. However, there is one slight problem in this situation…

I’m pudgy. There, i said it. At first it seemed like a subtle kind of thing, and i thought that maybe that i’ve had a few beers in the past month, but all of a sudden i have this tummy and it sticks out past my waistline and magically i’m twice as hungry as i ever am. I get just as much exercise (more than last year) as usual, and it’s not as if i’m getting any taller, and my meals vary from cereal to chicken to giant salads (no pizza, no hoagies), so unless this is my body’s way of preparing for some freakin’ seasonal hibernation, i’m not a happy camper.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/10/6764951/

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That was quite a lot of melodrama for 3am, wasn’t it? The behind-the-story story is that i had just come from volunteering at the Philadelphia Folk Song Society and i was running a really high temperature but was somehow wired up and didn’t want to sleep. When i finally did go to sleep i sweat my fever out like a junky, and now i’m sortof in this disoriented haze. But, no chills, just haze. Furthermore, I’m at work, after calling out and deciding i was well enough to come in as long as i didn’t have to do any tour leading today. Bleh. Data entry here we come.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/08/5126857/