Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

self-aware

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Not that i’m always the most informative stop on your daily surf of the internet, but i was reading recent Blog of Note PlasticBoy and wound up getting sucked into a fascinating article about how dolphins have been found to be aware of their own self image. Apparently, researched put temporary markings on a pair of Bottlenose Dolphins and mirrored the walls of their tank, and the pair of them were much more interested in examining their own reflections than using the mirrors for any other purpose. In the past chimpanzees and other primates have shown similar traits, but they have thumbs so we expect it from them. Of course, examining one’s reflection in the mirror in only a few shades away from being unable to decide how to do your hair for work today, so i’m not sure if the dolphins are really better off now than they used to be. But, anyway, when you’re done reading that go read another link stolen from PlasticBoy about artificial intelligence in gaming. Or just read PlasticBoy … god knows you need to get some intelligent content from somewhere ;)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3548249/

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I wrote a letter today, and sent it. I can’t remember the last time i did that. I sortof feel like every time i go somewhere other than here to write that i’m failing in my attempt to broadcast my life 24/7 to the boundless ends of cyberspace, and that one day i’ll want to look back at something and it won’t be here. But, i can’t always manage to have all the people i want to talk to read this page, and sometimes they aren’t even on the internet. And, sometimes it’s better to just have a memory rather than a written transcript, memories are much more flexible. So, i wrote a letter. I’d type it in just so you’d have something to read, but it’s really not about anything except being friends. I think we’ll just leave that one in the envelope where it belongs.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3379505/

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Wow, so, okay, you know how i mention from time to time how i need to be more of a bitch? It’s sorta a running theme with me that i love to please everyone; this tends to be evidenced by the fact that no one ever seems to have a serious dislike of me despite me having a stubbornly assertive personality. This recently became a major problem at work because i was overbooking myself for visiting students because i refused to turn away anyone who had a nice phone manner. That ended pretty quickly, after i almost didn’t have a host for a few students. So… now that tiny ability to say ‘no’ is starting to balloon outward slowly in my gut, as if every time someone tries to walk on me i’m breathing hard to inflate it. Is it possible that any of you have been around long enough to remember Viktor? Well… the other day he walked by me and said hello and i told him quite succinctly to “fuck off.” Apparently now he mildy fears me, though he can’t understand what my problem is with him.

The thing is, i shouldn’t have to make him understand. As a human being i have the right to randomly dislike people without giving a single reason. Furthermore, i should be allowed to like it. And,… wow… i do. There’s some tiny little urge inside me to justify my reasons for not liking someone, but it’s getting pushed aside by that balloon as it swells bigger and bigger. Of course, the truly professional thing to do is to have a “bitch” inside you and to harness her and use her when people try to pull a fast on on you, but i figure before i get fine control over her i’ll have to lash out a few times ;)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3294968/

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I just ate a whole box of tic tacs. I don’t really know why… i don’t feel especially hungry, but i haven’t really eaten a square meal for a while now so i suppose i could use some snackage to get me up to speed. When i first moved into my house i never wanted to walk all the way downstairs to the kitchen to eat, so i just ate altoids all day. All day. I have to say, altoids are a bit better tasting and more filling then these horrid little tic tacs are, but i don’t especially mind. It’s funny what i’m capable of doing just because i’ve established momentum. Eat a tic tac, eat two, and suddenly i’m eating a box. I need to equip myself with a set of brakes, or else i’ll always be coasting down hills. Or something. Time to open up my second box…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/04/3085652/

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Having Selina on Bertie’s webcam makes it incredibly easy to know when to ignore Bertie’s IM name, seeing as it’s Selina at the helm.


You know, it feels a little childish not to talk to someone at all, but it sorta has to be done. Don’t we all know that couple that keeps getting back together even though it’s not a good idea, or the ex’s that just never quit going after each other’s sore spots? Well, it seems like those two things are dumb reflex on my part unless i ignore her to some degree. And, honestly, i’ve got my own mental health in mind here, so if it seems childlike just know that my head feels a bit less aged for my trouble.


btw, to those who caught the two-minute entry i deleted on Wednesday night: there is no hole in my wall. I lie compulsively the first time ’round, but i tend to tell the truth if it’s in a printed retraction. yeah. xoxox

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2999419/