Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

shopping

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So, after months upon months of bitching and whining, i’m actually internet window-shopping for a webcam as we speak with my credit card in hand.

I’m having a hard time deciding ultimate whether or not i want a cam. Firstly, i’m sure to shell out $50 to $100 for it, which i could be putting towards a decent digital camera or new musical gear. But, more importantly, i don’t really want to take the mystique out of my bitching and whining. You can hear my songs; they are real. I can talk and talk and talk about how wonderful my songs are, but ultimately you can sit down and listen and decide for yourself because i make them available to you.

I am painted differently on here than i am in real life, which is why my friends occasionally have trouble when experiencing both narratives simultaneously. It’s really not intentional on my part; it’s just like how the sound of your own voice is wholly different when you just hear it vibrating through your own cheekbones compared to listening to yourself on an answering machine. Part of what allows me to illustrate myself in such a fashion is that you’re blind to me; when i talk about fabulous hair cuts or early morning beauty, you have to just take my word for it. Aside from the scattered and few pictures of me i occasionally let slip through the great majority of readers don’t know what i look like. And, maybe i enjoy that. Maybe having my image streamed onto the site at regular intervals will make it all too literal and boring. Maybe you’ll get bored with me once you see me for how i am.


So, if you were me with $100 burning a hole in your pocket, what would you do?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3993883/

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Things i learned while shopping: Whatever is on the end of the aisle is a impulse buy, even if it’s 2for1 Captain Crunch and you’re convinced that it’s exactly what you meant to eat for breakfast today // Unless you own a lemon farm, buying lemonade in bulk is the same price and the same ingredients [as making your own] // The people who bag groceries really enjoy it if you make light of your stupidity instead of just complaining // Quarts of milk are going out of style // I should buy Quaker granola bars by the gross rather than spending $20 on them at a time // However, if you find something you really like to eat on sale and it doesn’t spoil, there is no reason not to buy as many of them as you can afford // Yet, nonspoilable food tends to just sit in my cabinet while i order takeout, so i have to find a happy medium. // Knives are cheaper at kitchen stores, but they look sharper when sitting next to a lone spatula in the cook-wares aisle // I shouldn’t have to spend money on food for two weeks unless i have a growth spurt. // If you buy a quart of yogurt, you are not expected to eat it all on one serving. Really. // Cream cheese expires too fast to be appreciated. // You cannot free all of the lobsters, and even if you could you’d eventually get hungry and eat your roommate’s favourite one.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3908998/

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As much as you’ll catch me on IM in the dead of the night have deep conversations about emotion in high relief and how The David is really looking in two different directions, i am honestly a morning person. The only problem is, you have to find a way to get me out of the bed, into the shower, and then into clean clothes. Then, and only then, am i truly a morning person. Today Kim and I hit the floor of the sparkling new Superfresh down on Deleware avenue not a second later than 8:15, and we were giggling right down every aisle. Somehow i wound up spending $130 on groceries, which makes sense because i’m cooking a huge italian meal tonight and i decided i should start eating breakfast, but it made me feel like much more of a grownup. Not just because i spent all of that on groceries, but i never once stopped to think “if i just starve myself twice as long as these would last i could have a new guitar.” Somehow valuing the experience of trying to operate a self-checkout lane and knowing i could afford whatever the food came to is worth more (i know, it’s blaspheme) than a new guitar (or a second night of Madonna tix…).

What happened afterwards was the real proof i’m a morning person: i stormed into the apartment with groceries and announced to poor tortured Matt that i was defrosting the refridgerator by hand and that he should put on some good music. And, four solid inches of ice later (don’t even ask…) we have a clean empty refridgerator and lots of new groceries and it’s full-on spring and i just feel like someone flicked the little on switch that’s hidden behind my right earlobe and suddenly now i’m all powered up and ready to appreciate something.

All of that in exchange for three hours of sleep. But, it’s not really how much you sleep, it’s when you wake up.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3908916/

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Yesterday i met up with Andrea, who used to be the third person in our little circle of insanity along with Gina and I. For some obscure reason Andrea and i hadn’t seen each other since graduation, so our time together was chock full of catching up on all the people we’ve been crushing on since then, and all the music we’ve been listening to. Inexplicably, i managed to spend $40 on used cds despite claiming that my only goal for the day was to buy Pinkerton, which i never did find.


What’s was funny is that we ran into another one of our fellow graduates quite randomly in a diner, and we proceeded to sit and chat for a while. All of us seemed to agree that this “getting old” business was no fun, and that we still had dreams more than we had goals. But, then i said how i felt like a totally different person now and the two of them looked at me as though i had grown a new head (which, apparently, would be the only way they could imagine feeling different; alas, it was the same head they’d always known). I honestly do feel like a different person, because now i’m living a life different than the one i had been living. I live on my own, i have nearly all new friends, and my personality has even changed a little. I’m not the same! But, anyway, they both said they didn’t feel any different at all, which is part of what was bothering them about getting older. Maybe they changed, and they just don’t yet know how…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2829640/