Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

thoughts

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Maybe it only feels like shit because i feel so unattractive and i’m not sure i can ever find anyone beautiful who will like me ever again. Maybe it feels like shit because i established a routine with her and now it’s over and i’m just here. Maybe it feels like shit because i know that i still like her, but that it just wasn’t working. Maybe it feels like shit because we were probably in love. Maybe it feels like shit because i know this is hurting her a lot more than it seems to be hurting me. Maybe i feel like shit because this was a shitty thing to do. Maybe i feel like shit because i’m afraid she won’t find anyone else who’ll really care about her. Maybe i feel like shit because i already miss holding her hand. Maybe i feel like shit because i loved kissing her. Maybe i feel like shit because i deserve a lot worse.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2711258/

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Since i never really flirted with anyone seriously to begin with, it’s hard for me to conceive of the fact that i’m a really huge flirt. In my eyes, i’m just nice while also being incredibly brainless and amusing. Of course, those are the three things that epitomize flirting. So, now i’m stuck with all these acquaintances who my entire relationship with is based on flirting … and of course it’s highly inappropriate to keep flirting with them; nevermind that i’m not actually flirting. Argh. People are so complicated…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2705686/

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Um, as you might have predicted from my last post (@ 5am), i wound up sleeping ultra-alot yesterday and never got up to blogging. Yep. Not that anything really happened to me yesterday that was worth commenting upon. Yep, yesterday was boring. Blargh. I think i’m recording a best-of album tonight – dunno why or of what, but it might be recorded. Yep. Okay… see ya later.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2705124/

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For some reason “Other Plans” decided to make a comeback today. I must have played it three times to every one repetition of any newer stuff.

It’s funny how i can never tell which of my older songs i’ll develop a sudden interest in; for a while there “Bridge” was the be-all end-all of my musical life, but suddenly (on it’s two-year anniversary, i might add) it has become rather unappealing and i’ve moved on to the next big hit in my discography. Even more frightening: June marks the three-year birthday of “World in My Hand.” Jesus H Christ… my songs are getting old. Watching your own children grow up couldn’t be any worse … because at least children can change and evolve on their own. Songs…. songs just sit there and look all depressed until you do something new to them. Like a discarded rubiks cube. Sometimes you can stare at one of those things for hours and get nowhere, but other times you just pick it up and get halfway to the solution.

Of course… i’ve never solved a rubiks cub – what does that have to say about my little songwriting analogy?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2685721/