Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

too long, for me

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We are lying in bed, wrapped around each other. We are tired, but neither of us are going to sleep.

E saw blood. How much and what color and all of that is at once important and immaterial. If she sees it again, something may be wrong with our baby, just an apple seed in her belly.

This is hard.

Not only the worry, but the not knowing what the hell to do. E does not have an OB yet, just a GYN, so there’s no one for us to call. (Long story, not mine to tell.) Our potential birthing center and its midwives don’t want anything to do with us until eight weeks.

I am not the boss of E or her body, but I am invested in this apple seed, so I say my piece. We should go to an urgent care center in the morning, or else we’re going to be worried forever. Let’s get an answer, even if there’s nothing in our power to change it.

She made the call – no urgent care, but she would get referred to an OB on Monday.

That’s a long time from now. Too long, for me.

Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.

Crushing On: Cheap Graphic Novels

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Reading comics via graphic novels can be an expensive habit to maintain. They’re are rarely any cheaper than a $15 cover price, and sometimes run more like $20 or $40 – and hardcovers can be as much as $100! When you’re trying to gather a run of dozens or hundreds of individual issues, that adds up really fast.

When I first started buying, I thought I simply had to pay cover price at book stores or comic shops. That was really expensive, but it was immediately gratifying and I could make sure the quality of a book was high – both in its contents and its physical condition.

50% off of new graphic novel releases every week? Yes, please!

Then, I realized I could order them on Amazon for at least 25% off, and as much as 33% off. That was a lot less expensive, and fast with Amazon Prime – but, the physical condition of a book after it had been packed and shipped could vary widely. At one point I was sending back a fifth of everything I received!

Then, I discovered Cheap Graphic Novels dot com (CGN). They have (or, can get) every graphic novel in print, and if it’s from Marvel or DC it’s 45% off. And, if you order it the week of release, it’s an even 50% off! Not only that, but they are comic book lovers who are friendly to chat with and take a good look at books before they pack them in indestructible double-boxes with paper on all sides.

This totally exploded my comic book buying – I was getting double the books for the money I’d spend in a bookstore, and always in perfect quality compared to Amazon. I have spent an obscene amount of money with CGN in the past two years, and they have never made a mistake, and the worst quality issue I’ve encountered is a tiny bend on the cover of a single book.

I see you doing the project management math. Low cost. High quality. Surely there’s a downside? Well, there is, but it’s a minor one: CGN ships via Media Mail from California, which means I might not see the books for two weeks. And, they require signature on delivery, which means if you aren’t home to receive your order you’ll be headed to the post office.

You know what? That’s okay. When it comes to my comic habit, I’d rather spend a little extra time and keep my money and high quality bookshelf intact. If you agree, you should make your next order from CGN. There are a handful of other sites with similar discounts, but none that I’ve found so reliable and friendly.

Note: I haven’t been compensated for this in any way, although I’d love for CGN to start a referral program so I could add them to my Definitive X-Men, Avengers, and Fantastic Four guides. If you order from them, tell them Krisis sent you!

Excitement Is Ruining My Grammar

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It’s official.

I mean, we knew already from the many strips of paper and the lack of a period, but now we have a blood test that confirms it: you are having a baby.

I’ve been texting E about it all day. “Antici…”

She didn’t think it was as funny as I did.

The first thing I did was text Mel to tell her. To tell someone. I’m not sure how someone with a blog can be so very private about these things, but Mel is the only person in my world who even knew that E and I were talking about trying to get pregnant this year.

Why tell her and no one else? It’s something to do with her story, more than mine. I knew her before her kids, before there was any hint of them being on the way. I knew her through both pregnancies, and now on the other side, and she is the same brilliant, hilarious,  type-A person she was before – only now she’s that as well as the mom of two toddlers.

This has been a big part of my progress to becoming a willing father to be. In my life I’ve known so many people who have gone from vibrant adults to dull, disconnected parents who are no longer people in their own right. Before we got pregnant, I had to know – know that I could still be me, who loves words and music and making intricate plans. I didn’t want all of me to be undone just to have another person to look after.

I won’t say Mel is my only role model in that regard, but because we’re alike, and she is even more like E, she’s the one that’s brought me the most peace of mind. So, she’s who I told first, even though I can’t wait to tell Gina and Ross and all the other adopted aunts and uncles this eventual but no longer hypothetical baby will have.

Mel texted back two incoherent strings of text, and then: “Excitement is ruining my grammar!”

Yep, that’s Mel.

Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.

Giving Thanks

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Thanksgiving was a two day dance.

We hosted two consecutive dinners, one for each of E’s parents. Lots of cooking and tidying and carefully avoiding any hint that E is pregnant, because we’re only one week into this thing and it is too, too early for anyone else to exist in this gossamer bubble of nervous excitement where we exist.

It’s a little difficult, because E is known to love wine, and she doesn’t typically exhibit my unpredictably willful stubbornness where you could believe at any given time that I’m never eating or drinking a certain thing ever again.

There’s something to be said for being an only child.

Now, on the other side of the second dinner we are down to just E’s sister and her new fiance. That’s the other reason we really didn’t want to get into people poking about pregnancy – this is their holiday to enjoy the intangible difference in life now that they are pledged to each other in a way everyone else can see.

Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.

Don’t Lean On Me, Man

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I am not ready to be a parent.

I’m sure every expectant parent thinks that sometime during the pregnancy process, but I have real empirical evidence.

Like, I didn’t know scooping ice out of our ice cream maker with a spoon was going to scratch it up. So, I scratched it ALL up. E was like, “How could you not only do that once, but keep doing it for five minutes?”

I don’t know. For all of the smart stuff I know about words and music and human behavior, I don’t really know anything about the common sense of making things and maintaining them. Like, I can’t hang a picture on the wall. I don’t know how to keep most plants alive. I’m still confused about how to clean our butcherblock  counter tops.

I have gaps in my common sense in those areas. How the heck am I supposed to teach a very tiny person about any of them? All they’re going to know about from me is David Bowie. That’s it.

Note: This post was embargoed until we reached 20 weeks; it was made public on 3/20/2013.