After much deliberation i have decided that i can only pull this off because i am so incredibly sexy.
I’ll share some of my other sleep-deprived conclusions with you later this week.
The way things were headed i seemed due for either a complete mental breakdown or halfway shaved head. And, having just had a complete mental breakdown two weeks ago, i decided that looking like half-hearted punk rocker was better than lying in the middle of my curled up floor sobbing and speaking gibberish.
Subtract half an hour. I was sitting on the stairs averting my eyes from the television because Nicodemus has always scared me. As her hair fluttered down to a white trash bag spread out on the linoleum one razor-sized strip at a time Kate said that none of us had ever seen her natural hair color before. Grinning, she stood up and and walked out of the too fluorescent bathroom as Ross turned to me and asked if we were just trimming up the back.
Add twenty minutes, and i was attacking it with scissors while he shaved off the back with a half-inch blade, pulling at my thick hair so hard that i was crying. Tears carried shards of hair down my face like tiny rivers as we all laughed out loud. I wish that i could blame our hysterical laughter on being drunk or stoned, but we had all stopped drinking hours beforehand. They were laughing heartily, rolling around on the floor outside the bathroom, and i was laughing at myself.
Subtract fifteen minutes. They voted five to one for my haircut, but add twenty-five to that and they all drifted away. Bored with me, though i played the comedian as i tried to get Ross to pay attention to how short my hair should be. Elise won’t like this, i said, and they all laughed at my antics as i complained about the hair that was in my eyes and how much it all hurt. She won’t like, i thought, because i’ll hate it. I will never be able to convince her.
Plus thirty minutes. Standing in front of the mirror with the clippers wielded like a dagger, and it was almost perfect. Ross had left, Kate was in the shower. The top was excellent, the back was a little shaggy, but the sides were all wrong. They needed to blend from the top, and loop around my ears. The left side slowly conformed to my wishes, but on the right i came too close in front of my ear and was left with a tiny bald spot when i pulled away. It just won’t do, i thought.
They had joked earlier about giving me a mohawk.
Six months ago today was the third night Elise and i slept beside each other in the same bed. Six months before that i was packing up what there was of my life and wondering if it meant anything at all. Six months before that i was already saying what i refused to let myself figure out. And i don’t remember what happened six months before that, other than that it was a week before i started using blogger.
After Ross left, Kate wanted a shower, Lindsay wanted me to sweep up the hair in the bathroom, and Erika wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted my curls back, to save them for winter when i can be pretty again, and now i am just teary and wide awake waiting for the train to take me away from here in the morning.
I will not forget this feeling.
Well, it’s not quite a mohawk, but the clippers are still in the bathroom.
Bloated from eating the majority of a loaf of cinnamon bread and considerably bleary from hours of repeatedly dying and re-leveling as Circe, i messaged Benjy in hopes that he could provide some entertainment. Sadly, all he had to offer me was Ernie’s new webgame, where he is a contestant.
This new game is actually a Best-Of romp featuring contestants from all of Ernie’s previous ventures, including a few of my personal favourites. The one player who i wasn’t familiar with was Rusty, who was not a player but a commenter on Ernie’s most recent venture. His claim to fame, apparently, is running some sort of website called Kuro5hin. I had heard the name before, but never clicked through to it as it contained a 5 instead of an S, which is either the indication of someone being pretty stupid or pretty geeky. Or both. But, i was bored, so click i did.
Apparently, Kuroshin is a less blog-like more-wordy Metafilter, where posters are expected to research and edit their own intelligent articles instead of merely linking to them for fun and profit. Most of the articles on the main page were either too sharply divided or entirely too technical for my taste, but after browsing around the categories for a while i found this interesting article on the effect of small presses on music sales.
I was especially engaged in the article because Record Kingdom owns tens of thousands of such small press vinyl, thousands of which i’ve personally handled. That article was apparently a response of sorts to one which laid out many of the (obvious) flaws in signing a record deal. The article was the work of Mark Taw, whose websight features a wealth of articles on topics spanning from basic composition to avoiding spam. A commenter on his article pointed out a similar piece by Janis Ian, who would probably know about the industry even better than Mark would.
And, through all of that i only managed to level up twice. Sad. Meanwhile, if those links don’t keep you busy for a little while then… um… start a character.
A general malaise; now that i have gotten some things accomplished everything else has just faded out of sight. Sitting here in my navy blue underwear trying to decide if i should play guitar for three more minutes or just turn the air-conditioning down. Stack of albums to my right that i’ve listened to already, none of which i recall hearing. Half eaten container of macaroni & cheese in the fridge.
I really should have gone to work today.