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June 1, 2001 by krisis

Finally! I found another Drexel Blog. I haven’t investigated its content or quality yet, but i bet she met me at orientation last year… any other Drexel kids hiding out there? We are one of the most technologically adept schools in the nation, with the #9 IST undergraduate program and #1 graduate program … you’d think we could muster a bigger handful of people kvetching on the web. Oh well…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3887266/

Filed Under: college, linkylove

June 1, 2001 by krisis

One time in first grade we were taking a spelling test, and the word to spell was “kick,” and a boy named Paul raised his hand and asked “Do you mean k-i-c-k?” Of course, everyone giggled and the teacher reprimanded him and the test (and life) went on, and to this day i’m not entirely sure if Paul did it to be a smartass, or if he honestly was thinking of some other kind of kick. I just rememeber being exasperated at not getting points for correctly spelling such an easy word.

But, was i really exasperated? More and more often i find myself looking back at childhood memories that are getting more hazy and more generalized and i’m wondering how much of what i remember is just a fabrication of what i think i felt. Could i have really felt “exasperated” as a first grader? Did i really just giggle like the rest of the class, but in my recollections i make myself out as more mature and collected than i really was at the time.

The subjectiveness of memory frightens me. I don’t mind so much that the colours of everything in my head are getting less and less vivid like a patch of wallpaper that sees too much sun, but the prospect that i’m slowly changing all of my memories to the best representation of how i got how i am rather than what actually made me just isn’t right. Is this why children never believe what their parents tell them?, because their parents have taken all their childhood experiences and twisted them into trite little packages to be doled out before bed? I used to be able to eat candy and sweets endlessly as a child without pause, but now i get a stomach-ache and feel unfocused. Am i doomed to spend the rest of my life making futile efforts to keep candy from the hands of children just because now it spoils my dinner? Or, is this just growing up, and i’m not quite ready yet?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3886860/

Filed Under: memories, self-aware, stories, Year 01

June 1, 2001 by krisis

#7 is true. Just because i haven’t taken math for two years now and probably won’t ever again doesn’t mean i wasn’t good at it at some point. Up until the dreaded geometry i could do no wrong mathematically, but when we had competitions in math i liked the word problems because they were logic and math. Anyone could brute force their way through a computations exam, but the logic exam required a more expert touch. Or, at least i had convinced my tiny third grader brain of that. The third year we had a huge blizzard the day of the competition and wound up taking our tests via mail, and i placed fourth. I think that’s when i stopped liking math.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3885712/

Filed Under: memories, stories

June 1, 2001 by krisis

#17 is true. A girl kissed me aproximately 3 years, 2 months, and 2 hours after when i originally asked a girl if she’d kiss me.


Of course, i always remember wanting to kiss girls, from when i was very little. When i was five we went to Disney World, and there was one rather boring ride on a boat and i just remember that the most adorable girl was sitting across from me but i was afraid to look right at her because i felt like she would immediately know i was staring at her and i’d look like some dorky little five year old just smiling dumbly at the cutest six year old ever. So, yeah, i was setting up for romantic disaster very early on in life.


Anyhow, the girl who never kissed me was Juliana, and while i didn’t ask her to kiss me outright i would like to point out that our faces were very near to each other and it had never crossed my mind to kiss anyone ever before then in such an immediate fashion. So, while the actual question posed was whether or not she’d ever consider going on a date with me, it was only asked because the question we’re focusing on had been asked and answered in that are faces were still just near to each other. But, anyhow, we just wound up sharing lip gloss, and the rest is history.


As for my first kiss, it’s a topic i dance around constantly on this log without ever actually talking about it, because i talked about it entirely too much when it first happened. As you can easily see, i have no concept of secrets when it comes to myself so i didn’t think to keep my mouth shut about kissing someone – never thinking about if the someone would prefer me to keep my mouth just slightly less ajar than it was. I suppose it would have been better if i just continued to watch the replay of it in my head and not replay it for everyone else, but decisions are decisions and no one was hurt by any of it and life goes on (without us ever ever kissing again). So… no links to point you towards for this one, but if you’re a regular reader i’ll tie it all together for you; these three events coincide: first kiss, new years 2000, & “under my skin.”


Happy now?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3881170/

Filed Under: memories, stories, under my skin, Year 01 Tagged With: flirt

May 31, 2001 by krisis

#20 is true. I was never very sick as a child, and by the time i got into middle school the only kind of illness i ever had was the flu or issues with my tonsils – never a stomach bug. I very clearly remember the last time i threw up in my own home, which had to be at age ten or eleven sitting on my mother’s hope chest with our big manila-colored basin sitting next to me. But, anyway, save for my first experience with how not to get drunk, i haven’t thrown up ever since, and i can hardly even remember what it’s like. Unpleasant, i’m sure.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/05/3880178/

Filed Under: memories

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