Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand
by krisis
New hostee Ahx is contemplating asking me for a subdomain for hosting a focused group log. Sounds like a fine idea to me, which i already attempted with my infamously DOA DIYlog late last year. Concepts for group projects are relatively easy to come by, but a diverse, qualified, and involved group is not. What topics were you considering, exactly?
by krisis
I wrote a letter today, and sent it. I can’t remember the last time i did that. I sortof feel like every time i go somewhere other than here to write that i’m failing in my attempt to broadcast my life 24/7 to the boundless ends of cyberspace, and that one day i’ll want to look back at something and it won’t be here. But, i can’t always manage to have all the people i want to talk to read this page, and sometimes they aren’t even on the internet. And, sometimes it’s better to just have a memory rather than a written transcript, memories are much more flexible. So, i wrote a letter. I’d type it in just so you’d have something to read, but it’s really not about anything except being friends. I think we’ll just leave that one in the envelope where it belongs.
by krisis
The weather seems to have given up its bipolar behaviour and settled on a lovely middle ground, if only for a day or two. I happen to like spring, so i’m happy. Spring is strange for me, because i’m not especially a native to the season. I’m in my glory in the cool days of autumn and the chill of winter, but spring is just the yellow light before the green and heat of summer and it always makes me a little uneasy. It’s a season that moves… wind, rain, growth, warmth. Fall is so different, the way it settles down and leaves you with a polite dusting of snow and a christmas tree.
It’s hard to get a good read on spring (or any other season) while you’re in high school because it’s all skipping school to sit in your bedroom with the windows wide open or idly walking home even though you have much too much homework to do. School adds purpose to spring, because you’re trapped inside and you want to get out. Momentum. Somehow (i know how: through whining and bitching and using all of my connections to my best advantage) i wound up in class fall/winter and working in the spring/summer. So, i’ve got a building for me to escape, but it’s not really the same as school because i like it here and they pay me to do things i really don’t mind doing at all. So, i’ve lost all of my momentum; i am not out the door like a shot at 5pm to jump into a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt and do whatever people do in spring. I wouldn’t even know what they do anyhow.
So, yeah, spring finally feels like it’s here. Maybe i’ll go take a walk…
by krisis
Obviously i’m too busy or too apathetic or something, cause life is starting to get a little dull on this end. Life gets dull when i have no anchor and i just drift from hour to hour without any sense of where i’ve been or where i’m going. As distracting as it might be, having a crush or a demo or tour tickets to chase after gives me a sense of purpose, of forward motion. And right now i’m just sitting here eating lots of chocolate with zero motivation at all; i don’t want to be here but i don’t want to go home and i don’t want to be playing guitar and i don’t really want to go to my voice lesson because eating several pounds of chocolate in a 24 hours span does not tend to aid one in producing beautiful noise. Listless is the word. So, yeah, i’m just taking it one minute at a time as i crash down out of my sugar rush, hoping the clock will learn to tick a little faster at some point today (other than while i’m asleep).
by krisis
The scars are slowly fading, you know. I hurt myself the night Selina and i broke up, and i had the angry red scar on my leg this whole time, smoldering underneath my clothing as a physical reminder of what i was feeling. Lately i managed to forget about it a little, and just now i looked down to find it no more tangible than a line drawn with an unsharpened pink crayon. I think it’ll just be unbroken skin again a third into May, which will mark two months since we broke up. And four months since we got together. And i’ve almost found my equilibrium again.