Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

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a sound of sadness: christmas Twin Falls, Idaho is her oldest memory / She was only two it was the first time she felt blue / Cafeteria Harrison Elementary / Beneath a parachute I saw her without shoes / 7UP I touched her thumb and she knew it was me / Although she couldn’t see unless of course she peeked / My mom’s good she got me out of Twin Falls, Idaho / Before I got too old you know how that goes / That’s where she still was the summer she turned 17 / In 1983, two weeks after me / Last I heard was she had twins or maybe it was three / Although I’ve never seen but that don’t bother me


I don’t know if it’s the easy whine of his voice, or the quirky little appregiated guitar part, but this song puts tears in my eyes every time. I guess i’m old enough to start to appreciate all this retrospective stuff, huh?

Excuse me while i go cry in a corner like a sissy…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2807012/

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I literally ran into Laurel in the middle of the street the other day, and we talked for a while (after removing ourselves from the traffic flow). I don’t know about what. She said that i’ve come out of my shell (i made sure to clarify that “shell” didn’t have anything to do with “closet,” and she assured me that everyone was quite sure i was still inside of that), and while i first i was a little offended (Did she mean to imply i was some sort of corner-lurking little dweeb? I mean… moreso than i actually am?) as the conversation ebbed and flowed i saw that i really didn’t seem like the same person i was a few months ago. One of my other theatre friends recently commented that she couldn’t have lived with “the me from last year,” but she could definitely live with me now.


I feel like i should spend time staring in the mirror after comments like these to try to see what’s different, but i think that’s something the old-me would do. Maybe the new me isn’t such an obvious narcissist…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2806952/

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Although, at the same time i whine about all that, i’m the one who rampantly censored my life when i started seeing Selina because i didn’t want people to start asking me about it. So, i suppose i censor too, because typically i’d have been writing all about it … but in retrospect i’m partially happy that i didn’t. While i wish i could go back and read all about it, some things are just better kept private; this might be all about my life, but it’s not all of my life.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2806556/

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Word from Selina: no link to her diary. It’s a fair enough decision, since it’s a diary and not a journal or log, but i just don’t really understand putting something online if you don’t want people to read it. Well… i do get it: she doesn’t mind random people reading it, but because a lot of our friends read this page and she doesn’t want them snooping around her diary. So, though i might not really understand it, her page is more personal than this one has ever been, so it’s her call. So, yeah.

I almost have trouble wrapping my mind around how some loggers run afoul of real life friends with their logs. I mean, it’s quite obvious how people you never intended to find your site can find it, so you can never really be truly tell-all and brutal. But, at the same time, do you want to be that mean about someone behind their back on the internet? It feels rather petty to me. I think anyone i know could probably read my page other than family, and i’d back up my opinions to any of them. Where this all gets a little complicated is in the workplace; in a week i’ll be working for the admissions office, so i can’t really have them visit because they might catch some snippet of behaviour that’s obviously contrary to university policy. So, … there are limits, it’s true. However, i still don’t understand why some loggers are so intent on staying anonymous or hiding their sites; a few of them like Brant have a vested interest in not having family or friends ever finding them, but … well … i don’t know. I guess i just don’t feel like a real passive aggressive if there isn’t a slight chance for the people i’m talking about to read my log, however small it might be.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/03/2806525/