Well, this’ll give you something to stew over for the night, won’t it? I’m showering and then it’s off the the fairwell party, where nearly everyone i know at Drexel will be. So… it’s a safe place – lots of people who really care about me and my welfare. I promise to check back in when i wake up in the morning with details of all the incredibly stupid things i’m bound to do tonight. … well…i already did the stupidest one already, so it can only get better from here.
Isn’t it funny how i’m going to a farewell party for Laurel tonight, because she’s leaving the country in a week or two, and so i broke up with my girlfriend. Did i just want to make sure that i really did like her more then i ever liked Laurel, just to prove that i really did like her and wasn’t just settling for her. Because… Laurel never liked me back. You can only like someone so much when they never return it..
I’m always preaching about how i find beauty in imperfections, and there were three distinct beauty marks on my part in the show. Two of them were ugly and misplaced, but one of them was shining and perfect – it reminded me of that mole on Cindy Crawford’s lip.
The first mess-up that mars my memory of the show is my classic blunder on opening night, where i totally forget the second verse of my solo song. Normally i love to make mistakes while solo on the stage, because then it’s solely my job to fix them, but in this situation i was trapped because my accompaniment was a taped piano. Even though i made up a whole verse on the spot, and even though i hardly ever broke character in the process, i felt trapped by the piano pounded forward while i was still spinning my mental wheels in the mud.
The second blunder was totally the opposite. In our sneak preview Laurel started a scene with the wrong monologue … one that came later in the scene after i made a crucial entrance where my hand would be injured for the whole of the play. With half the cast on the stage, we were sent into a panic. The intelligent thing to do would be to wait Laurel’s monologue out, and then replay the part of the scene that came beforehand, but with so many people present we could hardly communicate our intention. As it was the scene just blundered along without me, and i was left to my own devices to get my hand injured onstage and then get my ass to center to talk to Laurel. Everything got done, but it was sloppy and could have been pulled off without a hitch if everyone had thought it through better.
My favourite mistake was with Laurel, and it happened twice. There are a handful of scenes … three or four short exchanges … that hinged solely on Laurel and I. We would have total control of the stage on which no one else could intrude until we resolved our lines. In one instance i dropped a line, and in another she dropped hers, but both times we maintained eye contact and fixed things. Once i had to go back and redo a line so the audience would hear it, and Laurel stood ready with her response. The other time the ball was in Laurel’s court and i let her know that i wouldn’t say a thing until she gave a line to let me know where the scene stood. Both times the transition from lines to mistake to fix to lines was so smooth that the rest of the cast had to ask what happened afterwards.
Laurel never loses control of the stage; it’s a skill i could stand to learn a bit better.
So, after my massive bitch session last night, today was about change. After two particularly bitchy comments this morning at the coffee shop i gave my two weeks notice. It’s a bit odd, because the shop is the first real permanent job i’ve ever had, and i love all my coworkers dearly, but at this point the experience is worth more in stress to me than it is in cash money. I could have theoretically stayed almost through April, but i’m not. Oh well. In other news, i might be moving. I’m not sure. I like this apartment a lot, but i think i’s much worse than a dorm room for me because i really am here by myself almost all of the time, which motivates me 0%. When Matt is here all he does is sleep on the couch or … um… occasionally sleep in the bed, and it’s a proven fact that the social state and work ethics of my roommates rub off on me, so… i don’t know. Moving would be a lot of bullshit, and i’d have to talk to all of our utilities and find people to help me move, but this place isn’t really condusive to my mental health right now, and i really need my mental health.
Other changes? I don’t know. I told Laurel that i had a girlfriend, and then i told her i’d cry when she leaves for Europe. The way i feel about Laurel is sorta the way you feel about that one special ex: benevolent and still attracted even though you know nothing will ever come of it. Of course, nothing ever did come of it because Laurel isn’t my ex or anything like it. What she is is a beautiful & intelligent true friend, one of my first in the theatre at Drexel, and i will never forget her.
So, there’s my positive day. Now i have to go and die… err… i meant sleep. Yeah. Sleep of the dead.
I just had my first rehearsal for Good Woman of Setzuan, but it was more of an exercise in movement than a practice. We did a lot of walking… i must have walked for nearly twenty minutes, just examining the way i use my weight and how i can shift it to change the look of my character. During the walking our director Bill actually singled out my character as an example of someone who moves in a specific way (not that i was moving that way), so at once i was psyched and a bit intimidated. After the walking we paired off and moved somewhat interpretively to music. My two favourite motions were: 1 – with a new person where i was sort of courting her and we conducted almost the whole thing with eye contact and the tips of our fingers, 2 – with Laurel, where i was tiptoeing around the stage and she was mimicking me carefully, after which we switched roles. The other interesting tid-bit of information came as we discussed some of the production numbers… i innocently asked if Laurel or Ben would be joining into my song and Bill turned to me and said matter-of-factly “No, it’s a solo,” which shut me up pretty fast. I’m not entirely sure if i want to be playing guitar for it or not… as playing guitar tends to lock me into to certain vocal inflections more than singing without it. Either way, i thought it would be nice to combine my voice with that of Ben and/or Laurel (who are the other two characters in the scene), but apparently i have to go it alone.
Rachel: Doesn’t that girl remind you of Laurel?
Krisis: I just don’t get the sense of innocence and raw sex appeal from her that i would expect from such a comparison.
Rachel: I’m starting to think we think of Laurel in two totally different ways…
Krisis: Have you ever seen her in the catwoman suit?
Rachel: Yes, and i think we think of Laurel in two totally different ways…