Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

krisis

Krisis has been creating Crushing Krisis since 2000, writing songs since 1996, and reading comics since 1991. He is a Customer Success and Digital Brand Strategy executive, serial organizer, parent, and feminist, among other things. Based in Philly through 2017, he now resides in Wellington, NZ.

Philadelphia, home of Black Friday

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Does anyone have anything witty to say about Black Friday?

No? Okay, fine, I’ll do it.

Did you know that the term “Black Friday” originated here in my fine city of brotherly love, Philadelphia? The Friday after Thanksgiving was always the start of the Christmas shopping season, but it didn’t always have a name. It was deemed as such by the Philadelphia Police Department in the 1960s, not only because the shopping frenzy packed our streets solid with foot and vehicular traffic (think of the potential for snarled traffic around the flagship Wannamaker’s!), but also because it was the weekend of the Army v. Navy game, which attracted its own horror of gridlock. The combination made the streets impassible.

There, I bet you didn’t know that.

Digestifs (or, a requiem for eight solid hours of food and NFL football)

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I am finally old enough to enjoy a post-dinner recline on the couch while making inane commentary on football games, and I took full advantage of said privilege tonight after dining with Gina’s family for the first time in six(!) years.

While watching the Eagles rack up the highest score of the day Gina, Wes, and I organized the National Football League in descending order of mascot size, punctuated by occasionally less-than-fearsome cardinal cries.

Massive
Titans
Jets (jumbo)
Giants
Saints (if astral)

Huge
Bills (buffalo)
Texans (steers, or possibly minotaurs?)
Broncos
Bears (grizzly)
Bengals

Large
Lions
Panthers
Colts
Rams
Jaguars
Dolphins

Man-Sized
Steelers & 49ers (assumed to be burly and hard-working)
Raiders & Vikings (assumed to be fierce and conquest-oriented)
Chiefs
Packers (assumed to be like Steelers, but with more dairy in their diets)
Cowboys & Redskins
Buccaneers (more of an effete Johnny Depp pirate)
Eagles (massive wingspan makes them comparable in size)
Patriots (sorta bourgeois, comparatively)
Saints (if corporeal)

Small
Seahawks
Browns (if dogs)
Falcons & Ravens (split decision on which would be larger)

Tiny
Cardinals
Browns (if recluse)

Atomic
Chargers

.

At this point we were all in a full-on dessert coma after ingesting Gina’s pumpkin cheesecake pie, and amidst Brian Dawkins imitations*, we also found the time to judge the five most fearsome mascots…
1. Titans – Atlas is a Titan!
2. Chargers
3. Bears
4. Bengals
5. Eagles
Honorable Mention: Saints (if astral)

… as opposed to the five most harmless mascots:
1. Cardinals
2. Ravens
3. Browns
4. Dolphins Per reader feedback, a dolphin could maul a Patriot.
5. Colts
Honorable Mention: Saints (if corporeal)

.

* Everyone we know considers Brian Dawkins to be terror incarnate, and we spend the majority of most Eagles’ games commenting on the fear that he strikes into all opponents.

Tonight we determined that Batman’s interrogation of a hallucinating Scarecrow in Batman Begins was actually based on Brian Dawkins’ pass defense, and that there is likely test footage of Bale wearing a Dawkins jersey along with his enigmatic visored helmet.

I also posited a likely Dawkins’ internal monologue, but it involved a lot of cookie-monster-metal growling that I can’t really do justice in text. Maybe when my condensers arrive next week…

tune up #1

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OMG, I just realized that I have less than a month to practice RENT before our yearly Christmas Eve singthrough if I expect to perform any better than in prior years (although any practice I do will be mostly for naught, as I think Steve has unquestionably laid claim on the “best male vocals” title in our gathering).

At least I could bring big blown-up lyrics appropriate for blind old yuppies such as myself so that I don’t have to squint at the CD book again.

stuff i missed

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I go through months of remembering I have a Google reader and months that I don’t.

I also went through a summer of talking about The Broken Windows theory of crime, after a re-read of Malcolm Gladwell‘s The Tipping Point. Derek Powazek recently posted a link to an Economist article tidily recapping the theory. Gladwell, by the by, has a new book out this month – Outliers – it was somewhat panned by the NYT book review.

I am not exaggerating when I say that Gina and I have spoken all three of the quotes included in Fussy’s atheist editorial. I can’t take credit for the desert one – that was Gina.

Via the always-read Mark Larson, Austin Kleon captures a sensation that Elise and I frequently experience and discuss in light of our introduction to house-hunting, summarized thusly:

I wonder about this proximity of bodies. I wonder how we will grow in a bigger space, with an upstairs and downstairs. How our changing spatial relationships might alter our story…

What I Learned Today is the blog of an inquisitive woman who, amongst other activities, took the time to look up all of the ingredients listed on her yogurt. After reading them, neither of us plan to eat yogurt again anytime soon.

Our Institution is linking to me; I’m not sure why, but they’re fun to read. Chris Puzak also links to me. I am friends with his wife, and he used to write scathingly hilarious editorials for my college newspaper (which sharply declined in quality after his graduation).

My open mic for tonight was cancelled, so we’re heading to jeweler’s row to pick up Elise’s wedding band! Then I have to learn how to thrash for my extra-special holiday drum rehearsal this weekend with Chas.

invoke the infield fly rule!

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Hmm.

So, in a bit of Philly surfing the other night I stopped by Philly Future, which featured a link to Fork You, a Philly food blog. And, in checking out the personal blog of its proprietor Scott McNulty – Blankbaby – I found myself thinking, Gee, that names sounds awfully familiar. I wonder how long he’s been around?

The answer to that question is two months longer than me. Which presents a conundrum: is Scott the longest-running blogger in Philadelphia?

Technically, yes – he made 11 posts prior to the launch of this fine establishment. However, said flagship posts were made from Yonkers, New York, not Philadelphia.

Now, let it be known that I am not one to hang on to my tagline via imagination or technicality – after all, that’s why I turned against Ms. Clinton earlier this year. At the same time, I don’t know that it’s fair for any carpetbagger with a long-standing blog to just roll into town and usurp me.

I’m really not sure what to make of this development. Have I been legitimately dethroned? Do we share the title, in different capacities? Have I found my nemesis?

I’m thinking I might have to drop by Fork You Live next Saturday to have a little duel showdown thumb war chat with this “Scott.”