My entire life, according to Death Cab for Cutie:
Brant, i know what you mean when you talk about friends and acquaintances and how to tell the difference between them. Sometimes it’s hard to keep a perspective on what’s happening outside of yourself – like the disorientation you feel when you play a first-person shooter game from the camera angle that floats behind your own head. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from what you’ve got stewing inside and view your friendships from the outside, because then you realize how good some of your “acquaintances” really are for you. It’s not their fault that you can’t share all of your private life with them, and you need to accept them on the terms of what they do know and love about you rather than what they don’t. I went through a miserable and lonely couple of months last year when i decided that i didn’t have any real friends, until one of my real friends pointed out to me that it’s not her fault that i won’t share anything personal with her.
Of course, if we would share personal things with our friends, would we need the internet anymore :p
I’m sitting here with a bag of frozen white bread and a tub of hummus that i accidentally stole from my girlfriend’s roommate two weeks ago snacking away while my ftp server mysteriously blinks in and out of existence. To get the white bread defrosted enough so that it’s not similar to eating cardboard i’ve got to hold it close to my mouth and breathe into it slowly, feeling the frost evaporate onto my fingers on the other side as my snack gets soft and flexible like it’s meant to be. I’m not sure if you’re actually reading this at this point because of my FTP issues, and that surely explains the lack of a new Trio despite my obviously having new material to work with.
The play goes up next week … 10 days from now. That’s scary. I mean, i can track my entire experience with the play through this log and it just doesn’t seem long or substantial enough. Not so long ago in the archives i was contemplating whether or not i should audition and now i’m contemplating if enough my extended family are going to want seat to gets a group discount. Maybe it’s because i haven’t had such a large role since high school, where we’d rehearse from January to nearly the end of March every single day, that i feel so grossly underprepared for this show; i don’t know my lines well enough, i don’t sing my song well enough, and i’m still finding my character. Of course, none of that really matters when i’m on stage, because somehow i just make it all work. I’m looking into getting some digital video to post to the page, so… we’ll see. I’m off to munch more hummus and rehearse for my rehearsal; take care of yourselves.
more new drafting! This one sucks more than the last one, though…
i've got a splinter it's a piece of you
and you've got some wishes that will never come true
i won't be your band-aid i won't cover up your wounds
and all of those promises that we made we made them too soon
i've got a splinter it's a piece of you
and all of your wishes, they will never come true
and you're like an anchor 'cause you're holding me down
and i want a tidal wave to sweep me off the ground
i've got a splinter it's a piece of you
and you've got some wishes that will never come true
you keep telling me that you're so much deeper
and i'm starting to wonder if you're all i need
i've got a splinter it's a piece of you
and you're stuck under my skin i don't know what to do
and i've got a splinter it's a piece of you
and you've got some wishes but i know they'll never come true
super draft version. super. yeah!
i slept on top of the sheets because i didn't trust what would happen
i didn't mind your looming lips but i was worried about your hands
but i knew you'd put me under soon enough - i knew you'd play rough
your intention was as clear as the act that you put up to get me into you
and who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
2am and i am walking to your place wondering if these feelings will last
but either way you've sunk your hooks deep into me
and don't you know they're holding fast
and who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
let's refine this baby let's define this;
make a glossary for what we feel
but a 1,000 words just paints the single picture
of my face close enough to steal your breath
and all i ever wanted was something real -
someone to listen to all these words of mine
and your ears would be my favourite part of this
except for what is left unheard
and who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
who-oa you've got a hold on me
i slept on top of the sheets because i was afraid of what might happen
but now i see i was in trouble when i set foot in your bed