Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

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Hi. This is amy. SO this is what i was thinking. Peter he’s behind me on my roomate’s bed bitching about the taste of vodka. and i’m like duh! so whatever. and this liz is on my couch passed out. but i got to see peter’s pastey little south philly ital-yaaan ass prance down my block. so it’s all good. quote of the night. “i’ll show you sumo wrestling.” I don’t have fixations with mugs or anything cute like that. my impression of peter “my nipple smells like coffee. pop jargon blog wark” roomate’s talking now. what? i don’t know. what is she saying? i don’t know. huh?! not listening! more impressions of peter “trio was choppy this week. my nipple still smells like coffee. or is that espresso?”

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1687278/

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Picking out a Christmas tree is the single tradition that my mom and i have. Every year we go out together to pick out a tree, with me always looking for an imposing one and she always looking for one she won’t need a ladder to decorate (and as short as my mother is, that isn’t a very exciting tree). The two of us made a comic pair; both grasping lattés from the coffee shop with scarves cast intrepidly over our shoulders, me gabbing away about having to study for my philosophy final and she worried that either none of or all of her extended family would meet me at the airport in Florida.

The first two tree lots were awful, without a single tree that either of us were particularly inspired by. However, the third lot proved to be exactly the mix of good trees and comic genius that usually makes our tradition. I did a waltz with the tree, there was a discussion of market economy as it related to purchasing dead evergreens, and my mom thought the tree-guy looked like Peter Mulvey until i pointed out his prominent herpes sore.


As if tree shopping isn’t fun enough, afterwards i got dragged to Walmart to look for “the perfect garland,” which my mother had only bought two strands of on her previous trip. Why, oh why, did she only buy two strands if it was perfect? Of course, Walmart had sold out of it since she’d been there last. Also, she is insistent on doing the tree in gold and silver ornaments (classy) and color lights (trashy). I say, either go in the direction of total kitsch, or get some goddamned white lights.

But, what would Christmas be if we could agree on anything related to the tree? I almost bought a 6′ fake tree for $20 to have at the apartment, but after i got over the amount of hilarity that would ensue from me bringing it back with me i gained control of my senses and put my $20 back into my pocket. I liberated my stereo from the house and brought it back with me instead! Go me!

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1662552/

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So, Matt ratted me out in regards to how entrancing i believe Rabi at WockerJabby to be, and through the magic of referral logs she {of course} read it. I just hope she doesn’t think i’m stalking her or anything; i just think she’s really neat.

What’s sorta interesting in the light of Matt’s accusation that i’m obsessed with Rabi is that i’m not obsessed with anyone. No one. And, as much as i whine and bitch and moan about being only obsessed with myself, i tend to fall for people. I fall hard. That’s why this is called crushing krisis … it just works on so many levels. But, not being obsessed is a healthy phenomenon. As much fun as it might be, and as conducive to songwriting as it might be, if i can’t give a girl space just within my crush on her, how could i ever realistically be romantically involved with her?

This whole lack of an obsessive center thing made it hard for me to title the new layout for AMkitchen. I joke constantly that whoever gets the majority of songs written about them on my next demo will get it named after them, but in a way it’s true; i gauge the emotional center of my current performance staples by who they’re about, and inevitably one songs becomes the center of all the others. For the majority of this year that song was “Under My Skin,” but lately i’m just not feeling it as much as i used to when i played it. So, looking at the spread of images from this past summer that are currently illustrating my website, i found myself at a loss for a name or a title song. I wound up naming the new layout ‘resolve,’ because above anything else my writing recently has been showing a sense of resolution. I feel resolved, and I have resolve. Resolve.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1634316/

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Just as a note … if you should ever find yourself in one of those traditional “kiss” situations with me, where i’m supposed to put my arm around you or something, and nothing happens – don’t panic. I’ve obviously just failed to take any initiative because i’m in awe of your perfection and grace. What you need to do in these situations is give me a hint, like putting your head on my shoulder or something of the like. If you’re feeling brave, you can just go ahead and set up the entire “kiss” scenario on your own, or at least enough of it so that i get the hint. Rest assured that i’ll participate in a lively and active fashion as soon as i find out i’m not going to be horribly and awfully rejected.


This has been a public service announcement. We’ll now return you to your regularly scheduled bitching and whining. Thank You.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1613677/

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In an effort to aid you in understanding the twisted depths of my psyche, lemme reveal two things about myself and then give you two pieces of advice:

  • I might bitch about theatre for hours at a time, but you had better believe i do a frantic happy dance when i get cast. The dance also involves screaming. And jumping up and down like some sort of idiot. The dance is exponentially longer when i get a part that i actually want, and is usually preceded by my screaming “No Fucking Way!” at my stage manager for about a whole minute.
  • I am so dumb that i invite real people to the site before thinking about whether or not i said anything about them recently that could get me into trouble.
  • When in doubt, do audition for plays with Madonna songs played on guitar, but only if you have another song in your repertoire as a backup.
  • Decide if you’re more embarrassed using a pick-up line in person or via the internet before you post the line to your website, which renders the whole debate rather moot..

    That’s a pretty good capsule summary of the last three hours of my life. I so intended to be asleep by now, but the butterflies in my stomach are holding the sleepy part of my brain hostage under threat of vicious tickle wars.

    Life is nice to me sometimes, especially when i least expect it to be. Goodnight.

    https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1573419/