Wow, it sortof shows that i’ve been spending all of my free time arranging sheet music instead of arranging phrases, huh?
by krisis
meta
Technology conspiring against me to drown the thoughts i had been hoping to hang on to as another week of my life flashes by and fades away. What would i have told you anyway? I went to Ikea, i killed some spiders, our DSL inexplicably stopped working, we saw Justin play, we spent a day playing Mario Kart 64 and drinking Coronas. What else is there?
I find it sort of ironic that as i obtain more and more of a real life, this page becomes less and less relevant. I would’ve never imagined that it would be an inverse relationship – I suppose i just have less time to sit around with my thumbs up my ass contemplating shit and then typing it all out
Everybody says they’ll quit their weblogs. They get mad, they get bored, they get complacent, and they say they’re going to end it all. Fewer bloggers actually manage to pull the plug, but it’s been known to happen. I’ve been that person enough times that it isn’t worth trolling through the archives to find examples… mad at technology, bored with what i was saying, so complacent about the page that i didn’t care about it at all.
I’m a different person now than i was a few months ago, both for better and for worse. I am happy, but for my happiness i have forsaken the childish dreams that would lift my spirits on a dreary day. I am stable, but i have lost the ability to voice my irrationality. I am content, and so i have lost the will to tell you about anything that could make me happier. Because, this has never been about what makes me happy, or even really about how my day went. It’s about Crushing. Crushing. What has me under its thumb. What got under my skin. What i want to be pressed up against.
Dotster sent me my domain re-registration email this weekend; CK needs to be renewed next month. And, honestly, i’m having doubts about investing another $20.
Sorry; i hate this self-indulgent bullshit … it needed to be said.
The two most interesting quotes i’ve read in the last 12 hours:
“Carrot Cake Soup is like the taste of watching girls make out.“
“For one thing, blogs will become ubiquitous to the point of transparency.“
The latter quote has relevance to yesterday’s first post because it implies exactly the opposite opinion of blogging while winding up with the same end result; blogs will be overabundant rather than just being over, and their proliferation will render having your own blog to be a non-event. The idea that personal pages once rife with badly justified text and awkwardly placed image files are soon to be transformed into a neverending stream of well-intentioned but poorly maintained weblogs is somewhat disappointing – even if my blog started out that way, i’ve always hoped the medium wouldn’t be relegated to such “ubiquitous” and “transparent” ends. If that happens, maintaining a domain name blog won’t be any different than having some shitty page on Geocities; not that it was any different in the first place.
As for the former quote… well, i really wanted to try the soup before they even said anything about what it tasted like.
First it was purple … TVaB purple, i declared. Then there was a big to-do about whether or not you could see the side of my face at all or if it was just a puddle of three different colors of gray pixels. Then i decided to go blue, as the logo picture also decided shortly thereafter. And, of course, there is the issue of the menu, which currently doesn’t exist.
The apathy involved in this redesign amazed me. It basically got to a point where i knew there was a redesign coming, and i didn’t really want to blog until it happened, but i didn’t really want to work on it. Which, equated to not wanting to blog at all.
On April 26th at noon i was standing outside of the Electric Factory by myself; i was first in line to see Garbage. Seven hours later the line stretched out past the gate onto seventh street, and i found myself up front with a gaggle of cool people. Conversation ranged back and forth for a while, but at some point Blogging came up, as i was wearing my Blogger T-Shirt. The opinions were strong, to say the least. “Blogger… is that still around?” “Personal publishing is so last year.” “God, i think everyone i know just gave up and switched to LiveJournal.”
Suffice to say, i was definitely stymied by their quick opinions on the matter, and driving to Boston that night with three other Bloggers didn’t exactly help me to forget about our conversation. Rabi expressed shock at the proclamation that Live Journal has supplanted the Big B in functionality or usability, and my fears that my webpage had become suddenly irrelevant were assuaged by the fact that i generally drew blank stares from the gaggle when i started talking about switching to Moveable Type and how PHP & MySQL make GreyMatter somewhat obsolete. They just weren’t hard-core bloggers.
By the same token, I’d expect that they wouldn’t refer to me as a hard-core Garbage fan; i missed meeting Shirley Manson because i was on the phone with Amy trying to bribe her into coming to the show, i didn’t buy the reissued record of Shirley’s old band, and i don’t own a single MP3 of Garbage – not even their apparently hot new cover of the Rolling Stones classic “Wild Horses.” Of course, i have met (and spoken with) the entire band before, i do own a Guild Guitar signed by them, and i did collect a complete set of their B-Sides on over twenty import singles.
They are, as i like to mention, my favourite band.
My point would seem to be that everyone is a fan in a different way – i don’t read fan boards or subscribe to ‘zines, but i do know all of the chords and own (yes, own, not download) all of the songs. It’s really just like how everyone weblogs just a little bit differently; weblogging might be so-last-year for those who jumped onto the bandwagon, but for those of us who found it as a natural extension of our old decaying pages on dreadfully unreliable free servers it never “got hot” and it will never “be over.” And, after all, it’s not how big of a fan you claim to be, but what kind of things you do to prove it.
And to keep it to yourself.
Well, it’s not as though it works or anything, but i have a 5th of May party to host.