off-topics

I did it. I finally broke the seal. I got an Express credit card. I know, i know, it only means trouble. Trouble, debt, tight jeans, and hot reversible belts.

It really started out with the suit i bought at Express last month. At the time it was a desperation buy – i needed a new suit jacket, and i needed to locate it in a two hour span. I had no idea that Express suit jackets would fit me as if they were personally tailored… comparing it to the two other suits i have owned is like holding an undershirt up next to a knit poncho.

Although i’ve had it for over a month, i hadn’t worn the suit all in one piece – the jacket showed up with jeans, and the pants made an appearance at work, but i hadn’t combined the two in a real world environment until I finally wore it for an offsite meeting yesterday. Needless to say, i looked as sharp as a tack.

While admiring my sharp-as-hell self in a bathroom mirror, i began to ponder: Do i look this sharp all of the time? I pride myself on it when i go to bars, or attend parties, but not at work – where i spend the most time and where it matters the most. Most of my dress clothes wardrobe was cobbled together from co-op to co-op between 2001 and 2004, with just a few shirts added this year. The assortment features few spectacular outfits, but it isn’t especially interchangeable – too often all of my clean shirts hinge on being worn with a single pair of pants. The result is that at work i often look just as random and dumpy as an intern, my more evolved sense of style smothered underneath unfortunate color combinations and fabrics subjected to too many cycles in laundromat dryers.

I decided then and there (still admiring myself in the bathroom) that if i wanted to maintain my reputation as fashonista i had to aggressively defend my title. No more pants that are too old to hold a sharp crease. More shirts that match more pairs of pants. More incredibly sexy suit jackets. I spend over a third of my waking life working for a living and, by god, i can use that livelihood to make myself sharp while doing it.

Thus, tonight i traveled to Express. My stated purpose was buying just one more suit jacket so i didn’t proceed to wear the other into the ground. One suit jacket turned into one new suits and, after discovering that they were priced at 50%, one new suit turned to two plus complementary ties. After the better part of an hour i realized that the dreadful day i had always always known would come had arrived – my Express purchase was so large that the discount that opening an Express credit card would provide could not sanely be denied.

At this point my impending purchases had become voluminous enough that I had acquired a specific helper employee to help me shuttle it to and fro the register, and to tell me i looked hot. I queried, “Would it be really good for you if i opened a credit card?,” and her eyes lit up like high beams.

And, well, long story short is that I have a ridiculously high credit limit at Express (my helper let out a gasp when she saw it), i got a free-suit’s worth of discount, i made Jennifer’s eyes light up like high beams, and i now have an entirely new dress wardrobe including major support in the BIV division of my RGB spectrum. If i can’t manage to look sharp now i have nothing to blame other than bad fashion sense.