i think i finally got a trio down. it sounds like crap. i need to practice more. i’m listening to it now…
I seem to actually have some vague muscle tone right now, which is trés trés exciting pour moi. I haven’t been buff in any sense of the word since i completed my stint at summer camp before Junior year. You have no idea how much definition you get from wrangling 15 six years olds every day, starting with an hour of swim instruction in the morning.
I haven’t had any muscle tone for quite a while. Towards the end of Junior year of high school i stopped eating red meat, and after a week or two i went totally vegetarian (for the first time since age five). The summer of 1998 was not my healthiest one ever, and i think i was sort of bordering on anorexia without ever being anorexic. I was being very conscious of what i was eating in terms of if it contained any animal and whether it was healthy or not. I sortof got into the mode of only eating when i really felt hungry, which usually isn’t enough for a 16-year old boy. Meanwhile, i have image issues in general which are totally seperate from eating disorders in every way. Combine those two things and you at-worst have a recipe for disaster (a fainting spell) and at best are gonna wind up rather skinny. And i did.
In the “i dream about my life” category: just before i woke up today i dreamt that i was writing a new post. It was about some frank sexual topic that wasn’t the least bit risqué, but i had to use some sexual terms to get my point across. While nearing the end of writing the post it occured to me that if i used the terms frequently enough i might be able to increase my hit-count, since people would think my site was dirty. I was very satisfied when i clicked the post button.
But i wouldn’t ever dream of doing that, would i?
I put myself through such hell to get useless things done that it’s quite sick. My to-do list is as accurate of an example as i could possibly provide. For the staff page update i reread all of shafted, just to harvest the eight digit numbers of everyone’s best posts. Of course, now i have to find a way to seamlessly add a “best of” link to each staff listing. Meanwhile, my list of favourite songs involves not a lot of easy listening but plenty of addition, giving numerical value to things that don’t need it, and severely wasting my time. Of course, nearly everything on my to-do list qualifies as a time waste, since none of them actually effect my life (except for when i go to sleep). Obviously, i devote all of my free time to constructing massive wastes of time. And proud of it.
Having friends is nice. I take people for granted a bit too often, being quite the introvert despite appearances otherwise. I value friends who always smile when they see me more than anything else in the world. I wish they all realized that.