Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

self-aware

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As for flirting… i’ve come to realize that the girl i’m interested is the type that can and will flirt with anyone, but could never commit herself to one boy because she’d lose the attention of all the others. And, while she does flirt a bit more outrageously with me, ultimately it’s probably because she feels less imminently threatened by my returned sexual advances. Oh well. Apparently she told me i had nice hair at Orientation.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1275910/

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“music and performance, as much as i feel i’ve lost it over the last year and a half, is the one thing that i feel can elevate me to a level where i can pass over my awkwardness. for thirty minutes or so, i gain everyone’s undivided attention. i can introduce myself without even saying my name, but just by giving of myself. when i’m leaned up against a counter with a bunch of indie kids like i was last night, it just felt like an elongated version of the awkward minutes in between bands at a show, only the bands would never come on.“

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1271225/

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Parties are odd for me. I cannot stay in one place or with one person; i migrate. This just contributes to the sense i have that i don’t have many very good friends who know me very well. I just can’t imagine how i would manage to sit down and pay attention to a single person for a whole night; what if there were to be someone more interesting in the next room? That’s my problem, of course, i’m always floating looking for the more interesting person, and by not making a choice i alienate myself from everyone. But, is there anyone worth sticking to? We’ll see…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1270348/