Do i look pudgy in that picture? I swear, i’m not pudgy… of course, with me eating meat again now there’s no telling what kind of weight i’ll balloon to. Actually, i’ll probably gain a few pounds and then drop a lot, because i’ll theoretically cut a lot of needless carbohydrates out of my diet. This summer was, like, 24/7 carbs. Yuck… after awhile you don’t get any more energy out of them, they just settle onto your ass.
all the beautiful hair is gone, and my nose is actually much bigger than that if you’re not looking at it head on. oh yeah, and i’m not that cute. otherwise, that’s an accurate representation of me.
Ditched that outfit totally. Now i look rugged…. err… as rugged as i get. I have some real image issues, don’t i? I just don’t think it’s fair that a guy either has to wear jeans and a t-shirt, or khakis and a button down. I like originality, damnit!
I am trying to dress somewhere comfortable in between “dead sexy” and “fashionable” without ever verging to close to “flamingly sexy fashion sense.” So far i’m in a tight long-sleeved t-shirt, shiny jeans (they’re men’s jeans, okay, so shut up!), and my clunky dress shoes. The party’s only a block away, so i can always go and scout out the fashion and then come back to change, but that’s just scary. One things for sure, my blood-red tinted hair makes me look shag-a-delic. Yeah, baby!
Hitting on me is very flattering, to be sure, and i usually don’t even mind when people who aren’t my type hit on me. However, in the “not my type” category, way too many gay men have been flirting with me lately. I’m not sure if i’m putting off pheremones or something, but i’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Today at work i was alone in the store and a totally unescapable head on flirting collision occurred. One of my customers just kept talking and talking at me (“Are you from Philly?” “Oh, i’m not from here, but i love this city, don’t you?”) even after i had gotten him coffee, given him change, and made the requisite idle chatter. Only very favourite customers get to hang around and chat any longer than that unless they’ve hit upon some delightful subject. And trust me, he hadn’t.
Now, i’m not sure if any of the 20-thru-30-something men stop to think about this, but i’m only 19, and by the most exaggerated account i might be 21 (based on how i “conduct myself). More likely, if i shaved a few key spots i could easily be making huge bucks being passed off as child pornography. I know that might be rather titilating, but between my relative youth and my being straight, the gay guys are working a few of my mid-to-last nerves.
And i’m flattered, of course.