Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

thoughts

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I babysat some people on acid once. That is… i babysat them, and they were on acid. I don’t know exactly how it all wound up starting, but i was so interested in watching them, as if their outsides were going to churn and reshape the same way their vision did. And, that night i truly came to believe that drugs are all in perception. There came a point when my sleepless haze mixed in with their ramblings and i opened my eyes and saw what they saw. Not in the vivid life-life colour that they described… but just the possibility. Yes, the wall was dancing like a ghost under a sheet. Yes, those lights left trails like a comet. But, eventually i fell asleep.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1348657/

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I wish someone was taking video of my first kiss. It’s like i lose a little of the image quality every time i play it back in my memory, until finally i’m just imagining it. Instead of seeing her face draw close i just imagine us in a pose like any barbie and ken doll can achieve, substituting my idealized picture for what actually happened. Maybe it was awkward instead of artful, but that momentary pause that came with the awkwardness meant everything, and without it i don’t have anything left but the trace left from the words she whispered in my ear. They’re still ringing.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1348639/

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I am way too non-resistant to change. For example, just now i washed my hands over the bathtub and then brushed my teeth there without even the slightest hesitation. Was i upset that i couldn’t do this over the sink? Nope, not at all. I have a sad sad habit of just working around such small inconveniences, pretending that they don’t matter at all. Of course, in the end i’m just living in a world of crap and looking like an idiot. The best example of this is the D-string tuner on my guitar, which has been broken for well over a year. I had just replaced all the tuners on my guitar when it broke, so i wasn’t in the mood to tear my instrument apart to fix it. Fast forward a year and a half, and now i have to bring a pliers with me to guitar ensemble so that i can tune the D-string of my guitar. It’s pathetic. I think mother and i have agreed that i’m getting a nice acoustic guitar for christmas so that i don’t look like such an idiot. As if that’s gonna help…

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1335254/