Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

SGapt

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So, Matt ratted me out in regards to how entrancing i believe Rabi at WockerJabby to be, and through the magic of referral logs she {of course} read it. I just hope she doesn’t think i’m stalking her or anything; i just think she’s really neat.

What’s sorta interesting in the light of Matt’s accusation that i’m obsessed with Rabi is that i’m not obsessed with anyone. No one. And, as much as i whine and bitch and moan about being only obsessed with myself, i tend to fall for people. I fall hard. That’s why this is called crushing krisis … it just works on so many levels. But, not being obsessed is a healthy phenomenon. As much fun as it might be, and as conducive to songwriting as it might be, if i can’t give a girl space just within my crush on her, how could i ever realistically be romantically involved with her?

This whole lack of an obsessive center thing made it hard for me to title the new layout for AMkitchen. I joke constantly that whoever gets the majority of songs written about them on my next demo will get it named after them, but in a way it’s true; i gauge the emotional center of my current performance staples by who they’re about, and inevitably one songs becomes the center of all the others. For the majority of this year that song was “Under My Skin,” but lately i’m just not feeling it as much as i used to when i played it. So, looking at the spread of images from this past summer that are currently illustrating my website, i found myself at a loss for a name or a title song. I wound up naming the new layout ‘resolve,’ because above anything else my writing recently has been showing a sense of resolution. I feel resolved, and I have resolve. Resolve.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/12/1634316/

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Now my windows are closed and the heat is on, despite the fact that tonight is beautiful and still and perfectly Autumn. I also have ice on my head, either to keep myself cool or to prevent the huge lump emerging from the top of my head from that window that tried to shatter itself on me.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1518957/

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I really dislike my landlord. You can revisit my initial reasons for this feeling in the first three weeks of the archives, but i felt as though i should take this opportunity to update them for the present. Aside from his general incoherence and unbusiness-like manner (and once threatening me with a gun, but that’s another story), he inserted a clause into our lease that our windows were to be kept shut while the building’s heating system was in season or be fined $200 dollars. What he neglected to mention was that there is no control of heat per apartment or per floor, and that the heater decides to come on whenever it wants and started to do so as early as September. After finding out all of this i just assumed his clause was more of a reminder than a literal threat, and so i generally keep my living room windows cracked as to relieve the incessant heat on nice sunny days (the same way i generally wear three layers of clothing on the mornings when the heat doesn’t work).


Today when i arrived home from work i found a note written on my realitor’s “letter head” (read as: shitty photocopies of his address typed onto white paper) stating that many tenants were in violation of the window clause, and that there would be a building wide check of inside windows and storm-windows (as opposed to screens) tomorrow with open ones netting a $500 fine for their tenant. Aside from the bare 12-hour notice and the 150% hike in the fee involved, i don’t especially like my realitor having a potential excuse to come into my apartment whenever he wants under the pretense of “i thought your windows were open”


As an aside, not all of my inside frames had a maintenance check after the previous tenant moved out, resulting in one that won’t stay open, one missing the top half of its frame, and one with no lock (not that i really need one on the 3rd floor, it just bothers me). As i was shutting the screens of all of my windows i opened one and had the top of it fall out of the window and bonk me squarely on my head. If it was a glass window it would’ve shattered into pieces. Apparently, the window had never been popped into its track and so just had been sitting on the windowsill the entire time.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1518494/

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My across the street neighbors are doing something right in front of their window, which is very well lit. I watched them the entire time i recorded my attempt at trio … i mean, i’m allowed to watch them carry on their daily living if they’re allowed to watch me sit in front of my computer in just my underwear, right?

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1471300/

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I didn’t really notice that it was raining last night. I couldn’t hear the sound of anything over the hum of my fan and the strains of music drifting out of my speakers. I only realized when i went to bed; with my ear pressed up close to the wall I could hear the drops as they met with the face of my apartment building and then slithered down to the ground. I wasn’t tired at all; i just listened to the rain.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2000/11/1468749/