Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

krisis

Krisis has been creating Crushing Krisis since 2000, writing songs since 1996, and reading comics since 1991. He is a Customer Success and Digital Brand Strategy executive, serial organizer, parent, and feminist, among other things. Based in Philly through 2017, he now resides in Wellington, NZ.

Recap: #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

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Alright, I’m wiped out beyond recognition right now (more on that tomorrow), but I promised reactions to the full episode of The Voice to accompany my Battle Round post.

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The introductory recappery and previewing things that will happen in five minutes seemed crazily over-indulgent, but I guess if your new show is posting week-over-week ratings increases you have to catch up new fans. Your show is a commercial for your show.

There were voices, there were chairs, we had seasons in the sun. Et cetera. It’s very interesting that Emily Valentine got face time twice in the brief montage alongside top picks Jeff, Javier, and Kelsey. In a sneak peak at Team Christina’s room, Tarralyn gives great face – a crazy bitch face when X-Tina says “[only one singer] …survives.” It’s the first of many terrific faces she pulls this episode. [Read more…] about Recap: #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

Grading #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

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Here are my quick and dirty thoughts on last night’s The Voice – featuring the first intimidatingly-named “Battle Round” between singers. Who really won this first round of fights, and how did they effect the overall standings? My feedback is based on the song and only the song – I didn’t watch any of the backstories, mentor sessions, or judge comments.

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Team Christina: Tarralyn Ramsey (#2) v. Frenchie Davis (#3) on “Single Ladies” (Watch it!)

I had these ladies ranked one after another on my Team Christina ranking, but in my original draft they were a tie – so this could have gone either way.

If they had pulled a big ballad Tarralyn might have eeked out a win, but on “Single Ladies” it was a blood-bath. [Read more…] about Grading #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

Where Dirt Means Dirt

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I don’t know if this is a universal experience in Philadelphia, but I spent my whole life up to this point living no more than two doors down from a drug dealer.

Visit Philly! Score some drugs!

No, seriously.

I don’t know if it was something about my choice in row homes or just something about Philadelphia, but there has been evidence of illegal narcotics distribution within a few hundred feet of my door in every place I’ve lived. Southwest, University City, West, South.

Mind you, if you are a drug dealer, or a drug addict – or, hey, even a drug mule! – I am not passing judgment on you. I can’t afford to alienate that (potentially wide) swath of blog readers. But, more to the point, what you do inside your house is totally cool. Me, I have my wife tie me to a chair in a room covered in plastic sheets, so you guys can just keep on keeping on. I’m just saying, it’s not like I’ve always lived within two doors of a police officer, or a gymnast. There’s simply something special about drug dealers.

This is maybe why I maintain a blanket approach of wary kindness to neighbors. I want to know their name in case I have to borrow a cup of sugar or talk to the cops about them, but I typically don’t want to go over for dinner or anything. I mean, you heard about the neighbor who offered teenaged me some crack to smoke, right?

When a neighbor stopped by our house to offer to cart away some of our dirt, perhaps you can understand why I immediately assumed it was code. I mean, the dirt is just dirt, but the offer must have something to do with drugs. He said he needed to fill in his yard before he put in an above ground pool, but “fill in the yard” probably meant “bury the evidence” and “above ground pool” was probably code for “massive bong.”

Right?

In this case, said neighbor showed up with an actual wheelbarrow to transport the literal dirt. I wanted to ask, “are you a drug farmer?,” because who else just shows up at your house with a wheelbarrow? Who even owns a wheelbarrow? Farmers, that’s who.

My neighbor was not a drug dealer, a drug farmer, or a non-drug farmer. He was a friendly guy who wants to put an above-ground pool in for his hilarious five-year-old daughter, who helped us shovel and then volunteered to plant flowers for E.

I realize I’ve now unwittingly befriended everyone within a two-house radius of our new house, and so far none of them have tried to sell us drugs. Which makes me wonder: is this real life?

(Although, to be fair, said neighbor did tell us about a grisly triple-murder that happened just down the block … but I have to think that’s way more common in Philly than even friendly neighborhood drug dealers.)

Next the world is going to try to convince me that if I leave our car unlocked no one is going to come by to pee in it.

It’s not going to work! I know that unlocked cars are the world’s urinal.

Grading The Voice – Team Adam

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After The Voice judges Blake, Christina, and Cee Lo we arrive at the final mentor on the row – Adam Levine, frontman for what is currently best pop band in the world.

Go ahead, try to think of a better one.

You’re going to fail. Every band you name short of the Jonas Brothers is a crossover from either rock or R&B. Like Hall & Oates before them, Maroon 5 was a pop band right out of the gate – rock radio will only give them credit in retrospect. They’re muscular, flexible, and just raunchy enough to be a little transgressive.

Does Adam have The Voice? I don’t know. I once (very recently) swore he sang like a duck. Given how drop dead sexy he sounds on most studio songs, he sometimes has a surprising thin, nasal quality that can sound unrefined. And like a duck.

Is he a good coach for The Voice? Abso-freaking-lutely. Occasional quacking aside, I have no doubt of Adam’s technical chops, his influences are a Hall of Fame of pop singers, and he has an ear for solid gold singers and singles. It all showed through in how he landed the three absolutely memorable auditioners.

Adam is also devilishly charming and clearly the breakout star of the show. His comedy and cocksure attitude might be scripted, but they also seem like an accurate characterization.

What’s so great about Team Levine? Let’s take a look.

Team Adam

  1. Javier Colon – “Time After Time”
    Is this the best reality show audition I’ve ever seen? His voice is stunning. Stunning. I would have rang in after a single line, maybe thinking he was a woman. There’s nothing else to say, aside from that I can forgive him the one over-the-top melisma near the end. If he can maintain this quality on non-ballads he is one of two men to beat, and the other one is on his team. (Which, if I understand the rules of this show, is actually more dangerous than if he was on someone else’s team.)I loved the sheer excitement on Adam’s face as he listened. I seriously cried every time they showed Adam’s reactions. I’m actually crying right now relistening to this. Damnit. Give me a minute.(It should surprise no one that Javier has an established music career. He got his start touring as the lead vocalist for Derek Trucks Band. Then he was tapped for two solo albums with Capitol Records, which he followed up last month with an indie EP on CD Baby that’s going to be sold out real darn soon already sold out (but still available in MP3). He has a home page with some cool-looking merch that’s about to become collectors items. Finally, he seems to be allowed to maintain his existing Facebook artist page, where he has done some responding since the broadcast.)
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  2. Jeff Jenkins – “God Bless the Broken Road”
    You don’t have to like country music to hear that Jeff has an absolutely golden, effortless voice. I’m a little incredulous he’s not a professional singing background vocals or jingles or something. But, there’s the bias-busting of The Voice at work – if I listened blind I would never assume he should be in the background because his voice is that gorgeous. I’m with Adam and Blake – he doesn’t need much help, and he can do whatever genre he wants to do. I really hope he’s versatile, because I want to see him go far in this competition. And life.Oh dear, I’m crying again. Hold me.
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  3. Rebecca Loebe – “Come as You Are”
    Chills. I got absolute chills from this. Rebecca’s voice is not flawless, but the quality of it. The intention. The restraint. The phrasing. She is a natural born singer and she is going to come out of this with a record deal one way or another. Does that make her The Voice of the competition? Maybe not on sheer power, but interpretation counts for something – note that Christina was floored by her. I would have hit the button hard and fast to get her on my team. It’s a testament to Adam’s lineup that I have her at number three – she is my personal favorite of the entire show so far. Hopefully she doesn’t retreat into reductive singer-songwriter-isms in future rounds – she needs to think big if she’s going to slide past one of the boys ahead of her.(Clearly from her bio reel Rebecca is a touring songwriter. Her page has a slew of LPs for sale and describes her genre as “post-brontosaurus indie folk/crunk.” Maybe a bit too weird for America, but I am quickly falling in love with her. Also? Adorable in her video blog.) [Read more…] about Grading The Voice – Team Adam

Grading The Voice – Team Cee Lo

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After Blake and Christina on the row of The Voice mentors we arrive at Goodie Mob member, half of Gnarls Barkley, and unstoppable songwriting force Cee Lo Green.

For me, Cee Lo Green is the most legitimate pick as both a capital-V Voice and mentor on this show. He’s a singer, but he’s also an artist, musician, and songwriter. He’s current, but he’s also been around for over 15 years. He’s mainstream, but he’s also a freaking weirdo. As Blake said, he might come out dressed as Batman. Or a Peacock.

And I would love it.

Cee Lo went all-in for pretty girls and intriguing voices, and the resulting team is pretty intriguing team. On the flip, his competition with Adam and lusting after ladies started to wear thin after only two episodes, and he battled Ms. Aguilera for the incoherency title (which is a pretty remarkable feat, as both of them could critique a circle around Randy Randy Randy).

Will Cee Lo’s solid gold instincts translate to reliable mentorship, or will he be all peacock feathers and obscure cover songs? It’s a pity he has to battle his team down to half, because they’re packed with potential.

Let’s take a peek at what Cee Lo has in store for us.

Team Cee Lo

    1. Kelsey Rey – “American Boy”
      Was I influenced by being able to see her? It doesn’t matter. Her precision handling of the jazzy melody of the song was incredible. She made sure all of the rapid fire interval leaps were distinct. She does not need to be a belter (or a beauty) with that voice (and, as Cee Lo pointed out, great breath control!). Christina was right on with her “the kind of voice for radio” comment. It wasn’t the backhanded “we need to auto-tune you or bury you in reverb” that the comment usually means on Idol. More like, “wow, we can put you on anything and push your voice to the forefront.” Her reedy tone makes me want to hear some Michael Jackson out of her immediately. I would have rung in for her and fought hard.Did she make the right pick with Cee Lo? I say Adam would have been better for her (Her fronting his band? Hot.), but he didn’t make a very strong case. Christina was genuine, but I can see Kelsey wanting to steer clear of being turned into a screamer. See, Cee Lo it is.(Fun facts about Kelsey Rey: She was a member of a tween group called “Funn Club.” She used to be blonde. She made it all the way to the top 50 of Idol but lost her voice before her final audition. The less said about the awful club track on her homepage, the better.)
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    2. Vicci Martinez – “Rolling in the Deep”
      Here is a Voice. Was “Rolling” the right song to show off her beautiful, husky vibrato and rock belting? I remain unsure. She did amazing things with it, and with that sort of unusual voice she’s probably spent her recent life getting lumped into the Duffy/Adele bucket. In reality, she’s a lot more unique than that, and one of the few truly remarkable people that has been featured. Christina should have fought Cee Lo harder for her, but I passed … she needs careful direction, and she might not connect with audiences in the voting rounds. She’ll need the help of both Cee Lo and the show’s editors to make it to the final four.(Vicci has had a prolific indie career. Check out her website to hook up with her existing social media identity, or download one of her six existing albums on Bandcamp.)
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[Read more…] about Grading The Voice – Team Cee Lo