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Year 08

Trio Season 6 – Suite #2: Transparency

November 30, 2007 by krisis

Trio: Season Six, Suite #2: Transparency
Deadweight, Save Your Day, Secret Queen

A sample of what I had to say in this Trio…

Re: Transparency
All three of these songs are about the same thing: a person that wouldn’t ordinarily impact me so much that I would write a song about them, and having one moment of unusual insight into that person – where I really saw through all of their opacity and outside intentions to what they were really about at their core.

Deadweight
At the time, actually, I thought it was just a throw-away. I had written another lyric on a page in my notebook … and I wrote [“Deadweight”] on the upside down of that page. … Now I have to turn the poetry notebook upside down every time I go back to check something.

Save Your Day
One of my readers sent me an email [to say that] she listened to it and just cried … because it was describing her. … You don’t think I’m going to write a song describing somebody’s life. Those songs suck. But, if you are just writing something true people find themselves in that.

Secret Queen
Oh, that secret queen. I’ve got some opinions about her. One day I just thought to myself, With all of that negative energy, you could just be the biggest black hole in my galaxy. And then “Secret Queen” arrived.


Trio – the original singer-songwriter web session – returns for its sixth season featuring my original music, recorded live and DIY in my bedroom. You can download this Trio, or listen to a previous Trio:

  • S6-#1: Within
  • S5-#9: Perspectives
  • S5-#7: Current Influences
  • S5-#3: Hindsight

Suite 2: Transparency [ 16:27 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Filed Under: NaBloPoMo, Season 6, Year 08 Tagged With: martha

More Than I Am; Less Like Me

November 9, 2007 by krisis

Around this time in last year’s NaBloPoMo Gina and I were just convening for our yearly holiday revue rehearsals, which wound up evolving into full-time Arcati Crisis.

Back then we would break off a set early if our mixing was bad or we biffed a harmony, and we didn’t like playing with other people because it threw off our very precarious musical balance.

Tonight we played three songs with a backing band in front of a modest crowd, rocking two of them quite adequately, and soldiering through a third one despite highly audible technical issues arising from our back line.

Our mixing was middling; no harmony was biffed.

.

After our set we mingled with various artists up in the (awesome) balcony-level green room, and witnessed a stunning percussion jam lead by our dear friend Dante Bucci and including our new favorite tabla player on the entire planet, Natasha.

Whilst we were relaxing between sets we struck up a conversation with the other performers. I’m always a little fearful of these backstage relationships, because I find them impossible to maintain with tact and grace if I decide that the performer is not up to par (and I’m afraid they’ll have the same issue with me).

One woman in particular was very charming, and we spoke to her at length about our history, how long we’ve known each other and have been playing together, and how satisfying it is to finally be a real band playing music together.

When we asked her about herself she mostly demurred, saying that she had given up writing songs for a while but recently fell back into it. That just made me all the more anxious about the prospects of carrying on a conversation afterward she played, but I put it aside; we were talking to a such a perceptive and personable fellow musician, and I should enjoy that completely apart from her actual musicianship.

As it turns out, she was amazing. Her songs were campy in an intentional, hilarious, genuine way, and her piano playing and singing were both unassailable and sometimes remarkable. Later she complained about a flubbed chord, and Gina and I remarked truthfully that we wouldn’t have ever known had she not told us.

(I need to remember that the same usually holds true for us.)

Nancy Huebner. Keep your ear out.

.

The moral of those dual stories is one and the same.

If you have something in your life that you’ve always wanted to do – something that you love (or think you would love doing) but never thought you would be good at – do it.

Stop asking questions. Don’t ask questions. Don’t doubt. Equip yourself with knowledge and enthusiasm, work at it until the work becomes effortless and fun, and then have fun doing it in the absence of the approval of anyone other than yourself.

Eventually it won’t matter if your harmony gets biffed or your chord gets flubbed every once and a while, because what you’re doing will be about a lot more than harmony and chords.

It’ll be about happiness.

Noncommittal (rehearsal) Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
Punk (rehearsal) Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Filed Under: arcati crisis, betterment, NaBloPoMo, Year 08 Tagged With: gina

In Pursuit of Bliss, pt. 1 – Permission

November 2, 2007 by krisis

I tore open the basement door and was met with darkness and the mews of sequestered pets. He was definitely was not in the basement.

He hadn’t been in the kitchen, or upstairs in his bedroom, or in his office, or in the garage, so I was positive he would be in the basement.

I shut the door carefully so Elise wouldn’t hear the noise, noticing with a certain detachment that my hands were shaking.

Time was running out.

.

I haven’t felt stage fright in a while – physically felt it like an affliction, or a holy ghost moving within me.

Now it’s just a spare butterfly in my stomach, or a certain anxiousness – probably because these days my on-stage appearances involve strumming and squawking my own songs rather than reciting 115 pages of memorized dialog. Yet, even in my theatrical days my slight stage fright was nothing debilitating. It was more a survival instinct than performance anxiety; it kept me aware, kept me from being complacent.

Or, maybe I’m just a natural performer, and I’ve never really understood what stage fright really is.

Until that Sunday.

.

Back in the kitchen now, with Elise a scant wall away in the bathroom. Even washing her face or futzing with her contacts wouldn’t keep her in there much longer. I had another minute, maybe two. Desperate, I looked out of the window.

There he was. Walking the dog.

I don’t think I’ve ever moved so quickly in my entire life. Out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and out into the pitch black garage, stealthily shutting each door behind me as I went.

A sole trace of light radiated from around the edges of the outside door. In the relative blackness I nearly tumbled over a box. Or a car. Or some sort of inert garage gremlin, for all I knew at the time. I was completely fixated on the outline of the door, which he hadn’t shut completely. I should have noticed it the first time I peered into the garage.

Heart racing, I grasped the doorknob.

.

Despite my near-OCD about consistency and personal habits I don’t believe in carrying on a tradition for traditions sake. Just because everyone does something a certain way – have always done something a certain way – doesn’t mean I plan to adhere. In fact, it probably means that I plan not to, especially if the tradition is religious or patriarchal in any way.

Yet, even with that inherent rebelliousness, there are a few traditions I just can’t bear to break. Am I actually polite on some deeply-repressed psychological plane? On some even deeper level do I buy into a few traditions just so my rejection of others is more profound.

Or, are some traditions that way for a reason?

.

I burst out of the door and into the daylight of the driveway, breathless.

From across the street Elise’s father looked up from a cell phone call to regard me quizzically, the dog hunched in the grass by his feet.

As I met his gaze my entire body shook uncontrollably. The physical, rational part of me was having a grand mal seizure. Somewhere beneath that a combination of instinct and basic motor functions took over.

I started to walk down the driveway.

.

It was over before I knew it. Like being stuck by a needle, or surging down a rollercoaster. Or getting on stage. All the anxiety in the anticipation, and none of in the act.

My recollection of the actual event is vague. Did I speak with confidence, or was I shaking like a leaf (and possibly dry heaving) the entire time. I would say that we could ask Elise’s father, but I’m sure he had his own collection of involuntary reactions to contend with at the time.

.

Five minutes later we walked back into the house together to find Elise seated in the kitchen, reading her book. She raised an eyebrow at our entrance, to which I replied, “I didn’t want him to have to walk the dog alone.”

She went back to her book, apparently unconcerned, unaware of the mad hunt that had lead me outside or the motivation behind it.

I resisted the urge to shoot a look back to her father, but couldn’t risk giving my mission away.

.

I had permission. We were getting engaged.

Filed Under: Engagement, NaBloPoMo, Year 08

We interrupt this interruption in service…

October 24, 2007 by krisis

Over the past five and three-quarter years of blogging you’ve all become acquainted with Elise.

Elise, Best Picture of

I always used to joke that my paucity of girlfriends was due to the fact that I’d only date girls more intelligent (and talented) than me, and Elise certainly fits that bill.

Arrival

She not only fits that bill, but she’s also gorgeous, hilarious, and perfectly equipped to at once complement and endure all of my flaws.

Elise, Quintessentially

Well, as of last Friday night at about 6 p.m. that gorgeous, brilliant, hilarious, talented, perfect-for-me girlfriend of mine is now my fiancée.

Elise, brunch

Our engagement was totally unique and unbelievably flawless. And, if you want to hear about it, you’re going to have to tune in next month, because you had better believe I’m saving all that awesomely schmaltzy writing for NaBloPoMo.

Elise, hall

As for blogging before then? I’m otherwise engaged.

Filed Under: elise, Engagement, Year 08

Lessons Learned as a Temporary Bachelor

October 12, 2007 by krisis

As of tonight Elise has been away from Philadelphia for over two weeks.

That not only marks the longest time I’ve gone without seeing her since January of 2002, but also the longest time I’ve ever lived alone.

Effectively, I’ve been a bachelor for the first time in close to six years. which was a pretty big eye opener. What I realized is that even when you function independently as part of a pair, somewhere in your mind you are considering what your other half is doing, and when you’ll see them next. With Elise half the world (and about 24-hours of travel) away, those back-of-mind ticklers were rendered inert.

Here are the ten things I learned while left alone with my brain.

  • 10. I can easily get up on time if I don’t have another person’s alarm clock to confuse me…
  • 9. And, I sometimes really do prefer to sleep on the couch.
  • 8. I enjoy going out for drinks. A lot. And, I don’t tend to drink to excess if I’m coming home alone.
  • 7. Playing guitar alone in the house is only a priority when I have a limited time to do it. (Like, more limited than two weeks)
  • 6. Begrudingly adhered-to habits (like dieting or room tidying) are only fun when I have someone else to gloat to about my success.
  • 5. Conversely, enjoyable or self-affirming habits (like blogging or teeth whitening) are easier to keep up when I’m entirely under my own recognizance.
  • 4. I never, ever, ever turn off the hallway light, even when I am convinced that I recall turning it off.
  • 3. I know absolutely nothing about the function or repair of toilets.
  • 2. My main motivation to do laundry is not lack of clothing – it’s actually peer pressure.
  • 1. I really like Elise.

Filed Under: elise, Year 08

How Radiohead is trying to rehab a rapidly melting industry (but they won’t go, go, go).

October 1, 2007 by krisis

(1) One of the major benefits of Radiohead’s release strategy for the forthcoming In Rainbows hit me squarely on my walk to the subway this morning: no leaks.

The release of each of Radiohead’s last three albums has been an event. Not just a manufactured Kanye v. 50 affair, but an honest-to-goodness critical and popular bomb dropped on the record buying public. And, no thanks to their savvy fans, each record tends to leak ahead of the disc release.

I never had the impression that Radiohead minded leakage, per se, with Johnny Greenwood saying the following about a two-month early leak of Hail to the Thief

Shame it’s not a package with the artwork and all, but there you go. I feel bemused, though, not annoyed. I’m glad people like it, most of all. It’s a little earlier than we’d expected, but there it is. (WP)

You can read between the lines there to understand a few things about Radiohead. They value albums as an experience. They enjoy designing the collateral that accompanies them. And, as illustrated by their never-ending iTunes holdout, they aren’t crazy about badly encoded versions of their work.

All three factors lead to a band that’s “bemused” by leaks rather than “annoyed” – they think it’s quaint that anyone is making an effort to obtain an early version of an incomplete product.

By offering a pay-what-you-will download of In Rainbows two months ahead of the physical release the band gets to leak on their own terms. They can independently master their disc and shuttle it straight to their service provider for upload, with no studio interns to smuggle a pre-master or label reps to swipe a final copy.

Furthermore, fans get the music on Radiohead’s terms – not some nth generation digital-to-analog-to-digital transfer encoded to an MP3, but a direct-from-source version engineered to the band’s specifications.

It is, in a sense, the best possible leak.

.

(2a) The Radiohead situation got my awesome co-worker Chris and I talking about the current rapidly-failing state of the music industry.

Record companies sit on what for decades seemed to be an inexhaustible resource – audience-facing intellectual property in the form of sound recordings and publishing rights, and artist-facing deep pockets that control access to big producers and hype machines. However, those resources were inexhaustible only because the means of distribution and production were highly controlled.

As a nominal example, take Fleetwood Mac. Much to my teenaged consternation, for over a decade there was no single greatest hits CD on which you could purchase a particular trio of their biggest classic rock hits, namely “Landslide,” “Rhiannon,” and “Go Your Own Way.” Yes, their single disc hits package leaves off “Landslide.”

Why? Who knows, but it’s as good of an illustration as any of the record companies and their inexhaustible resource of intellectual property, which remained valuable due to scarcity. Scarcity driven by selectively signing bands and selectively releasing their work, by holding on to publishing and sound recording rights, and through cross-promotions and radio payola, to name just a few of the channels metered with a heavy hand by labels.

At the crux of the matter is a business paradigm that’s all sewn up in old media. Record companies still want to act as a broker of music between and artist and their fans, and their preferred method of business is still retail transactions – physical or virtual.

For all the talk of the threat of file-sharing and the relative oligopoly of the digital music market, it’s the business model that’s sucking the life out of the music business. Unless you’re Radiohead (or Ani DiFranco) putting together a gestalt album package, what does album intrinsically mean? Why sell albums? Why sell? Why not let listeners subscribe to an artist like a magazine that doles out singles instead of issues?

Because that system doesn’t really require middleman, does it?

.

(2b) Recently the tables have turned on the record industry and its previously inexaustible seat of power.

iTunes is returning the business to it’s single-oriented 45 days, killing per-track margins. Its a la carte nature combined with p2p makes it harder than ever for companies to reap extra album sales by repackaging the same release or through judicious exclusion of key tracks.

Meanwhile, songwriting artists are wising up and shopping to smaller labels and imprints to get more out of their publishing rights or make deals to own their own masters, and label power over FM radio is being eroded by satellite, internet streams, and the almighty iPod.

Suddenly that seemingly never-ending glacier of resources is melting at the labels’ feet while marquee names like Madonna take their business elsewhere because their major moneymaker is no longer their records but their overall brand. Artists major and minor are increasingly make their living from merchandise, publishing, and live shows, painting labels quite plainly as outmoded loan sharks hoping to advance money and support in exchange for the brand and intellectual property. And, the artists are finally – rightfully – balking at the concept.

They no longer need labels – labels need them.

.

(3) Of course, record labels know they are about to be sitting in a lukewarm puddle resources, and they’re taking every action to prevent their leverage from melting.

Amy Winehouse was withheld from the American market for years after her strong debut with Frank, including several months after her blockbuster sophomore effort Back to Black dropped in the UK to massive acclaim.

Why wait? Universal Island wanted to drum up a perfect storm of stateside media coverage for their critical darling, and they wanted to ride a huge post-Grammies wave of attention on other UK imports who recently followed the same strategy: Gnarls Barkley, KT Tunstall, and Corinne Bailey Rae.

Amy shipped a big hit – score for Universal. However, it was just a single disc, and Amy hasn’t been anywhere near a studio for follow-up due to her whirlwind US promotional efforts. Six months later she’s canceled her first major headline tour for a stint in rehab, and is being haunted by bad press wherein her family is urging listeners not to buy her record until she cleans up her act. Universal Island is now pushing out Frank to American soils, but there’s no telling if she’ll be good for a follow-up hit.

None of that is the label’s fault, per se. What is their fault is letting the business artificially lead the music – trying to manufacture a hit with art that was already in the world by keeping Winehouse bottled up in the UK when she was fierce and ready to tour behind a fresh disc.

America got her second-hand, and it shows.

.

(Epilogue) Radiohead is engaging in the antithesis of the Winehouse strategy – they’re letting the music drive the business, and it makes an astounding amount of sense. Release digital the second the disc gets out of mastering to hit rabid fans and major tastemakers. Then drop a special package for the die-hards and collectors. Finally, after drumming up a holistic, naturally occurring storm of interest, release a more traditional version of the disc for retailers to shill to the masses.

Not only does it make sense, in that order no one feels slighted by buying all three releases – no one is getting teased out by eighteen extra-special limited edition versions of the disc, it just runs a natural course: leak, premium, normal.

Kudos to Radiohead for breaking free not only of their label, but of the industry paradigm. I hope everyone votes early and often with their wallets handy.

Filed Under: essays, Year 08 Tagged With: Madonna, Radiohead

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