Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

consume

Crushing On: WordPress Editorial Calendar plugin

by

If CK frequently seems like bursts of organized, topical posts followed by droughts of randomness and silence … well, that’s because it is.

Not that it’s meant to be that. As CK has transitioned from a personal blog to a blog about my music, Philly, and other specific topics, I finally settled on the perfect mix of posts for the current incarnation. I even made myself an Editorial Calendar – basically, a forward-looking schedule of what content is in which stage of readiness for the weeks ahead. EdCal’s are traditionally a tool of newspapers and magazines, but in recent years they’ve become an important resource for bloggers.

The WordPress Editorial Calendar Plugin is a drag-and-drop calendar that lives in your "Posts" screen. It's also my communications-nerd dream come true.

Then I hit a barrier: how would I keep the editorial calendar updated?

It was a barrier I couldn’t overcome with blogging as a part-time exercise, fighting for time against my three musical incarnations and dealing with the new house. Paper EdCals were a chore and got lost. A Google Spreadsheet was great for planning, but I just kept planning and never wrote. Penciling drafts into WordPress was meaningless without some structure, and I wound up with endless lingering drafts since I couldn’t see an overview the lineup of an entire week or month.

I thought, maybe WordPress has an EdCal plugin! It seemed like the sort of plugin motivated bloggers would create. Alas, I searched and searched, to no avail.

I keep re-drafting my own EdCals, but they never lasted more than a few weeks as they were interrupted by actual work and my musicianship. Despite a myriad of ideas for CK, I just didn’t have the spare time to wrangle them, write them, schedule them, and post them.

Then, in an actual work meeting about WordPress during actual work hours, Mel & I were glibly showing off our personal blog plugins to the social team at the office. I showed some of my favorites (Yet Another Related Posts Plugin being primary among them), and the she whipped out WordPress Editorial Calendar.

Screenshot of the quick-draft screen in action, from the WordPress Editorial Calendar Plugin page.

WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW!?

(I may have actually screamed that in the middle of the meeting with our Director. Luckily, he is already well aware of my insanity.)

Yes, about 13 months ago someone came up with a fully-functioning EdCal plugin for WP. Set up a schedule of posts, start a draft right on the calendar, and drag and drop them to your heart’s content. When a post is ready, just move it over to “Publish” status via a dropdown – or, edit it the way you’d normally edit.

Ta-Da – instant blog organization.

Needless to say, the next time I logged into CK I immediately installed the plugin. I’ve been working with it all weekend, and for the first time ever I have a month of planned posts. That doesn’t mean I wrote them all today – it just means I finally have a living schedule of what I hope to talk about and when I hope to say it.

I’m positively aglow about it. I hope you dig my first week of EdCal content, starting tomorrow morning!

Crushing On: Rita’s Water Ice

by

Philly is a city full of water ice. As a child in the 80s every block of South Philly seemed to have some mom’n’pop store with a cooler of the poor-man’s gelato at the front.

I remember when Rita’s launched its first few chain locations into Philly proper from their base in the burbs. People were understandably skeptical, since to that point water ice was a strictly homegrown phenomenon, with Pop’s being the major local “brand” with a handful of locations.

I instantly loved Rita’s. Every other water place in town had a white, super-sweet vanilla flavor. Rita’s vanilla was brown, slushy, and had the cloying, nearly-liquory taste of vanilla extract. If I was in the mood for vanilla, I’d demand a trip to Rita’s.

After an entire years sans water ice, yesterday after a dinner date I convinced E that there really was a Rita’s nearby and we needed to find it. Lo and behold, not two blocks into our drive we struck gold.

Gold, and their amazing Juicy Pear flavor.

I’ll always love Philly’s homegrown water ice shops, but as chained franchises go you could do a lot worse than Rita’s.

Top 12 Omissions from the Harry Potter Movies

by

harry-potter-72-promoThis weekend E, Amanda Nan, and I held our penultimate PotterThon – a 24hr sequential viewing of all of the Harry Potter DVDs that includes reverential silence, spirited debate, Mystery Science Theatre-style heckling,  and reading passages out of the books to prove each other wrong. We followed it up with a trip to the theatre to see Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part 2.

(The final PotterThon will be held around Christmas when the full set emerges on Blu-Ray, and will feature considerably more champagne than one typically finds in a movie theatre.)

We all thought Harry Potter 7.2 was an immensely satisfying conclusion to the film series. It hit all of the major moments from the book, sometimes enhancing them from Rowling’s rushed read on events in the back half of Deathly Hallows. Even if it lacked a bit of heart and turned a certain pair of good guys into terrorist murderers, I still think it’s about as pitch-perfect as possible.

That’s not true for the other seven movies, as we love to hash out during the rest of PotterThon. Each of them manages to leave out a few key moments from the books.

I’m not talking about things that are best left on the cutting room floor, either for content or just not making sense on screen. Viewers were better off without SPEW, a centaur professor, Dumbledore’s unabridged life story, a Death Eater with a baby head, Voldemort’s (in)breeding, and Nearly Headless Nick’s death day. No, these are the sorts of things that actually could have improved the movies.

Here’s what we came up with… [Read more…] about Top 12 Omissions from the Harry Potter Movies

X-Men on a Budget: Intro to X-Men

by

Does this describe you: You dig the X-Men – from the movies, cartoons, toys, or video games – but you’ve never read a comic book.

It’s not so unusual! In the nearly fifty years since their introduction in 1963 The X-Men have become a ubiquitous pop culture presence – making the word “mutant” synonymous with being a superhero.

While it’s easy to be an X-Fan without ever touching a comic book, if you’ve never read a comic you’re missing out! At their best, X-Men comics far outstrip their representations in any other medium.

However, it’s hard to know what’s “best” with almost 50 years of comics to choose from – over 3,500 individual issues of dozens of titles. Plus, those comics are collected in hundreds of “trade paperbacks” or “graphic novels,” making your entrance into comics even more confusing. I created a Definitive Guide to Collecting X-Men to help, but it’s still hard to know where to begin.

What to do? Try this – a budget path to becoming a quickly well-read X-Men comics fan.

  • For under $25 each, every one of these books stands alone as an excellent story whose effect can be seen monthly in today’s comics.
  • For under $125 for them all, they make a terrific condensed crash course through half-a-century of comics legacy.

Intro to X-Men for $125 or less

#1. Dark Phoenix Saga for <$20 (Amazon)
Collects Uncanny X-Men #129-137 from 1980.

Why? The 1980-81 Dark Phoenix Saga remains one of the pinnacles of the X-Men’s long history, as well as one of the most widely acclaimed stories in all of comics. It takes the team from the New York sewer to a distant galaxy, with displays of powers and pathos throughout. Writer Chris Claremont does a great job of introducing each character and explaining what they can do, which makes this a perfect starting place. (Watch out – there’s also a $75 hardcover with the same title and issues – it’s not worth it!)

#2. Mutant Genesis (hardcover) for <$20 (Amazon)
Collects X-Men (Vol. 2) #1-7 from 1991.

Why? Witness the end of Chris Claremont’s unparalleled era of solo scripting as well as the pinnacle of X-Men’s popularity with this multi-million selling introductory arc from 1991-92. This affordable hardcover pits the team against Magneto, Sabretooth, and brand new foe Omega Red. If you loved the 90s X-Men cartoon this version of the team will seem very familiar to you.

#3. New X-Men Ultimate Collection, Volume 1 for <$25 (Amazon)
(or pocket-sized New X-Men Book 1 (Amazon) & New X-Men Book 2 (Amazon) for <$25)
Collects New X-Men #114-126 & 2001 Annual from 2001.

Why? Notable comic author Grant Morrison was brought in to reboot the X-Men’s secondary title to be more palatable to fans of their hit movie debut. As long as he slimmed down the roster and slipped them into black leather he was allowed a slew of liberties, like killing millions of people and breaking up a marquee Marvel romance. While his fast-paced, sci-fi laced writing can sometimes be off-putting, there’s no denying he plotted one of the best introductory arcs the X-Men have ever seen.

#4. Astonishing X-Men: Gifted for <$15 (Amazon)
Collects Astonishing X-Men #1-6 from 2004.

Why? Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon took the reigns in the wake of Grant Morrison and started with a hugely entertaining blockbuster arc. He maintains Morrison’s brisk pace, but focuses more on finding the definitive voice of the characters – especially fan-favorite Kitty Pryde. This story sets the scene for the last few years of X-Men, with Cyclops and White Queen in charge of the mutant race.

#5. X-Men: Messiah Complex for <$25 (Amazon)
Collects Uncanny X-Men #492-494, X-Men #205-207, New X-Men #44-46, X-Factor #25-27, and X-Men: Messiah CompleX One-Shot and Mutant Files, from 2008.

Why? This one is advanced level reading! Messiah Complex represented a huge change in status quo for the X-titles as the teams scrambled to find the first mutant baby born since the species was decimated. The process is a cinematic adventure that pits friends against friends, features some brutal fights, and fractures several long-time bonds across the X-Men. It lives up to its “complex” title, so be prepared to not recognize much of the huge cast of X-Factor and Academy-X students.

#6. X-Men: Manifest Destiny for <$20 (Amazon)
Collects Uncanny X-Men #500-503, X-Men Free Comic Book Day, and material from X-Men: Manifest Destiny #1-5, from 2008.

Why? Enter the modern age of X-Men, with the entire mutant race pulling up stakes from New York to move to San Francisco. This book captures a brief arc that followed Messiah Complex as well as a collection of short stories that will help you get to know the newer characters. From here you should be ready to pick up any newer X-book. (Beware, there is a second title with the same name and a different cover).

.

This is the first post in what could become a new series, so your feedback is appreciated! Are you a longstanding fan with a different where-to-start suggestion? Are you a new fan who nabbed one of these books and came back confused? Or, are you already started, and need second-step suggestions? Let me know in the comments.

How I Got My License AKA parallel parking is the mind-killer

by

I am now a licensed driver.

I couldn't find a picture to appropriately illustrate a "Philly Bump," so for the purposes of this story we'll just have to pretend that this is a traffic cone JUST AFTER being Philly bumped.

I don’t know how to make this post any funnier than that. My wife, Gina, Erika, and all of my co-workers have already received their entire quota of comedy content for a single post.

I suppose I should put in a little more effort for the benefit of everyone who hasn’t spent more than 40 hours a week with me at some point in their lives.

For someone so obsessed with adult things like having a budget and a house and a two-digit amount of two-piece suits, my inability to drive labeled me as an eternal adolescent. I need a chaperone to go anywhere. In every meeting or social event I am someone’s little brother. And not even a useful little brother who is under 21 so can always be the DD.

Thus, time for a license.

The driving test itself was much easier than I had anticipated. I had been studying for it as if it was an GRE-caliber of challenge instead of a drive around the block. E has been grading me on every stop and turn for the past six months. I parked for over six hours in the weeks leading up to the test – just parked and reparked, over and over again in front of our house (which has lead to the neighbors asking E some interesting questions).

While the grading might have been overboard, the over-parking –> was strictly necessary, as my sense of spacial relations is… let’s say, “vestigial.”

More accurately, when the car is backing up I don’t seem to think there is any relation between where the back of the car is pointed and what I do with the wheel. So parallel parking is really exciting, like one of those carnival rides where the teacup can turn in any direction at any second.

You know how in the teacup there's the little center wheel, and everyone in the teacup futilely attempts to steer it against the gravitational forces at play, ultimately spinning directionless for the entire two minute duration of the ride? That's what parking is like for me.

To her eternal credit, E really tried to explain it. She tried to teach me tricks of the trade. She tried to explain the actual geometry of the car.

It was all for naught.

Instead, I taught myself to parallel park the same way I taught myself to play guitar and program in PHP, two other things that I understand logically in hindsight only now that I’ve been doing them both for over a decade.

The method? Mindless repetition until I have made up my own special Peter’s Guide To Parallel Parking that has no bearing whatsoever on the actual parallel parking process. You know how on Friends Phoebe doesn’t know the names of any guitar chords, instead calling them things like “bear claw” and “old lady”?

That’s exactly how I know how to park.

It starts with me repeating, “slow, deliberate, and strategic” over and over, which is like my parallel parking equivalent of reciting “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer,” until the parking has gone and only I remain.

Then there are a series of arcane calculations about wheel turns and the relative size of the curb in my rear view mirror. Then I park again. And again. We’re talking hours of nothing but parking.

Did I mention how incredibly patient my wife is?

I was reciting my parking mantra carefully under my breath on Saturday morning as my tester approached the vehicle, pausing only long enough to learn his name. Burt. Like Burt and Ernie. But probably don’t point that out to him.

Also not my test-taker. Actually, he was a lot more reminscent of the Muppet.

I managed not to break any traffic laws in the actual DMV parking lot (which I had been doing with great aplomb prior to the start of the test) and then we were at THE SPOT.

People had told me really encouraging things about how the parking spot would be big. Quite large. Rotund. They were fucking liars. The spot was tiny. I saw at least two people ahead of us in line fail just on the parallel parking. I was a little concerned it wasn’t even as long as our car.

When we reached the spot I went into my parallel parking Rain Man routine hardcore, hoping that Burt would be more afraid for his life from my behavior than from my actual backwards navigation abilities. He carefully instructed me that I had three “reverses of the vehicle” and then maybe retreated as far to the passenger side window as possible.

I restarted the mantra.

And then I parked perfectly in one move.

Just for fun I asked Burt if I should use a second move to give the orange cones a “Philly bump.”

He declined.