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RuPaul’s Drag Race, S7E01 Recap: Born Naked

March 5, 2015 by krisis

RPDRS7One of my biggest life events in 2014 was becoming obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I watched a random episode of its sixth season on a lazy Saturday and got sucked in by watching some of the world’s most-fabulous drag queens competing while also showing some of the behind-the-scenes of their craft. I’ve loved drag and gender-bending culture ever since I was a six year-old wearing a Jem costume for Halloween, so it wasn’t long before I had a season pass plus tickets to see the queens on tour (Ben De La Creme foreva!).

This week the newest season of Drag Race got started. One thing I experienced in my new fandom last year is that there aren’t a ton of sites doing recaps and commentary on the show – I was reading the same few things over and over, in particular, Tom and Lorenzo (now shuttered) and Onion’s AV Club, plus indiewire and l’etoile. So, I figure if I’m going to watch it obsessedly for the next three months, I ought to write a bit about it too!

Let’s be honest – there’s really nothing to recap other than fashion on the first episode when there are 14 queens and four outfits to reckon with. That’s not even a minute per outfit!

Rather than try to make some sort of cohesive narrative out of it, I’m just running down the queens in order of appearance – first in their entrance, then as they debuted spring and fall looks on the catwalk, and finally as they hit the catwalk with resort wear over a nude illusion. I wrote this as I watched, so I didn’t have any spoilers to influence me.

Gentlemen, start your engines! If you want to play along at home, grab a season pass! [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race, S7E01 Recap: Born Naked

Filed Under: teevee Tagged With: drag, Drag Race, Recaps, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7

Happy Joss Whedon Day

May 3, 2012 by krisis

From GQ, illustrated by Cliff Chiang

Marvel’s The Avengers opens tonight in the US, and by all critic and audience accounts (having opened abroad last week) it is one of the most enjoyable comic book movies ever made.

That comes as no surprise to me – it was written and directed by Joss Whedon.

For all of you about to say, “Oh, I love Joss Whedon!” please allow me to share my Whedon Credibility, which will trump all of y’alls’:

I made my father take me to see Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the movie theatre when I was ten years old, because I loved vampires. Then, in 1997 when I saw that Buffy would be a mid-season replacement in TV Guide I saved the issue and checked the WB’s schedule religiously each week until the show appeared. I never missed an episode until I left for college.

As one of the 1% of Joss’s oldest fans, I am incredibly happy he is about to become the director of one of the top five highest-grossing debut weekend films of all time. He deserves it. He is a freaking genius, and it would benefit the entire world if he was given enough respect, money, and autonomy to make whatever art he wants to make whenever he wants to make it for the next several decades.

There is no amount of over-exposed he can get that will annoy me. I will always love him, even though I stormed out of the theatre when we saw Serenity screaming that I would never watch anything of his ever again.

He also gives outstanding interview, and the first-ever big screen comic book crossover movie is yielding what is sure to be the biggest haul of Whedon sit-downs in the entire past and future of this timeline.

Behold:

GQ: I ask him if there’s some validation to getting The Avengers, at long last—if he felt like his early work had opened up a door that, until now, he himself never got to walk through.

“That’s a really beautiful thing to say,” he says, and pauses for a second, stares at his lap, processing. “I’m kind of a little bit—I, a little bit, feel that way. I didn’t, really, until you said it, but now I totally do.”
…
So he goes in and pitches [his pre-Nolan vision for Batman]. He’s on fire, practically shaking. “And the executive was looking at me like I was Agent Smith made of numbers. He wasn’t seeing me at all. And I was driving back to work, and I was like, ‘Why did I do that? Why did I get so invested in that Batman story? How much more evidence do I need that the machine doesn’t care about my vision? And I got back to work and got a phone call that Firefly was cancelled. And I was like, ‘It was a rhetorical question! It was not actually a request! Come on!'”

Next up…

Forbes: “The Dark Knight,” for me, has the same problem that every other “Batman” movie has. It’s not about Batman. I think Heath Ledger is just phenomenal and the character of the Joker is beautifully written. He has a particular philosophy that he carries throughout the movie. He has one of the best bad guy schemes. Bad guy schemes are actually very hard to come up with. I love his movie, but I always feel like Batman gets short shrift. In “Batman Begins,” the pathological, unbalanced, needy, scary person in the movie is Batman. That’s what every “Batman” movie should be.
…
I have one particular theme, and it ties in with what I was talking about with the corporations, and that’s helplessness. The empowerment of someone who’s helpless. And that has everything to do with how I feel about myself. Buffy was a pretty blond girl of whom nothing was expected, who didn’t try very hard at anything, and then suddenly became the most powerful person around — that theme, whether it’s empowerment or the discovery that one is powerless, that drives everything I do.

But, this one was most epic in length and scope…

Wired: I mean [Dollhouse is] potentially the most offensive show in the history of television. And to me it’s also the most pure feminist and empowering statement I ever made. It’s somebody building themselves from nothing. As has been told in legend and is actually true, I thought of it because I was having lunch with [Dollhouse star] Eliza [Dushku], and she was talking about what everybody expected from her. “Well, these people say I should be this, and these people say I should be that.” And I was like, oh, click, that’s the show. And I know what the name is. And when I know the name, that’s usually a bad sign. I literally went home and said to my wife, “Honey, I accidentally created a Fox show.”

And one of the things that we talked about at that lunch, one of the things that was the mainstay of the show, was sex. It was about how people relate to each other sexually, what they want from each other sexually, what they want from each other romantically, how these two things are interlinked and how they’re separate. The show was on some level supposed to be a celebration of human perversion, because perversion, like obsession, is the thing that makes people passionate and interesting and worthy. And people who are nothing, like Echo and the other dolls, are learning to be someone. And part of learning to be someone is learning to be someone that nobody else wants to be. Eliza said, “I want to explore sexuality. Not just wear sexy outfits,” although she’s like, “I would like to do that too.”
…
It may be that I’m not as invested. But I guess the thing that I want to say about fandom is that it’s the closest thing to religion there is that isn’t actually religion. The love of something and what it’s trying to accomplish or mean are usually very separate. The people who are like, “Well you can’t do it. That staircase was seven steps, not five.” They totally missed the point of this. When I first met the comic book writer Brian Michael Bendis, we were talking about comics and he told me his favorite letter was, “Daredevil would never say that. Die. Die. Why can’t you just die?”

(Wired: Well, it makes a good point.)

And Bendis can’t, by the way. Sunlight, stake through the heart, beheading, he won’t die. He’s actually very powerful.

Happy Joss Whedon Day!

Filed Under: flicks, teevee

How I Got My License AKA parallel parking is the mind-killer

June 27, 2011 by krisis

I am now a licensed driver.

I couldn't find a picture to appropriately illustrate a "Philly Bump," so for the purposes of this story we'll just have to pretend that this is a traffic cone JUST AFTER being Philly bumped.

I don’t know how to make this post any funnier than that. My wife, Gina, Erika, and all of my co-workers have already received their entire quota of comedy content for a single post.

I suppose I should put in a little more effort for the benefit of everyone who hasn’t spent more than 40 hours a week with me at some point in their lives.

For someone so obsessed with adult things like having a budget and a house and a two-digit amount of two-piece suits, my inability to drive labeled me as an eternal adolescent. I need a chaperone to go anywhere. In every meeting or social event I am someone’s little brother. And not even a useful little brother who is under 21 so can always be the DD.

Thus, time for a license.

The driving test itself was much easier than I had anticipated. I had been studying for it as if it was an GRE-caliber of challenge instead of a drive around the block. E has been grading me on every stop and turn for the past six months. I parked for over six hours in the weeks leading up to the test – just parked and reparked, over and over again in front of our house (which has lead to the neighbors asking E some interesting questions).

While the grading might have been overboard, the over-parking –> was strictly necessary, as my sense of spacial relations is… let’s say, “vestigial.”

More accurately, when the car is backing up I don’t seem to think there is any relation between where the back of the car is pointed and what I do with the wheel. So parallel parking is really exciting, like one of those carnival rides where the teacup can turn in any direction at any second.

You know how in the teacup there's the little center wheel, and everyone in the teacup futilely attempts to steer it against the gravitational forces at play, ultimately spinning directionless for the entire two minute duration of the ride? That's what parking is like for me.

To her eternal credit, E really tried to explain it. She tried to teach me tricks of the trade. She tried to explain the actual geometry of the car.

It was all for naught.

Instead, I taught myself to parallel park the same way I taught myself to play guitar and program in PHP, two other things that I understand logically in hindsight only now that I’ve been doing them both for over a decade.

The method? Mindless repetition until I have made up my own special Peter’s Guide To Parallel Parking that has no bearing whatsoever on the actual parallel parking process. You know how on Friends Phoebe doesn’t know the names of any guitar chords, instead calling them things like “bear claw” and “old lady”?

That’s exactly how I know how to park.

It starts with me repeating, “slow, deliberate, and strategic” over and over, which is like my parallel parking equivalent of reciting “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer,” until the parking has gone and only I remain.

Then there are a series of arcane calculations about wheel turns and the relative size of the curb in my rear view mirror. Then I park again. And again. We’re talking hours of nothing but parking.

Did I mention how incredibly patient my wife is?

I was reciting my parking mantra carefully under my breath on Saturday morning as my tester approached the vehicle, pausing only long enough to learn his name. Burt. Like Burt and Ernie. But probably don’t point that out to him.

Also not my test-taker. Actually, he was a lot more reminscent of the Muppet.

I managed not to break any traffic laws in the actual DMV parking lot (which I had been doing with great aplomb prior to the start of the test) and then we were at THE SPOT.

People had told me really encouraging things about how the parking spot would be big. Quite large. Rotund. They were fucking liars. The spot was tiny. I saw at least two people ahead of us in line fail just on the parallel parking. I was a little concerned it wasn’t even as long as our car.

When we reached the spot I went into my parallel parking Rain Man routine hardcore, hoping that Burt would be more afraid for his life from my behavior than from my actual backwards navigation abilities. He carefully instructed me that I had three “reverses of the vehicle” and then maybe retreated as far to the passenger side window as possible.

I restarted the mantra.

And then I parked perfectly in one move.

Just for fun I asked Burt if I should use a second move to give the orange cones a “Philly bump.”

He declined.

Filed Under: elise, stories, teevee, Year 11

Grading #TheVoice – Battle Round #2

May 17, 2011 by krisis

Here are my first reaction thoughts to tonight’s The Voice Battle Round!

I made my first notes listening totally blind, although tonight it was easy to tell the voices apart. I then went back for a single watch before picking my victor. I didn’t peek at the judges picks until after I made my own.

Here we go! The rankings I list are based on my original team breakdowns from last week.

.

Team Cee Lo: Tje Austin (#4) against Nakia (#6) on “Closer”

In my original breakdown of Cee Lo’s team I said Tje had a lot of raw awesome, while Nakia was a sweetheart and a showman, but not the best singer.

Did my opinion hold up? [Read more…] about Grading #TheVoice – Battle Round #2

Filed Under: critique, reviews, teevee Tagged With: Recaps, The Voice

Recap: #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

May 12, 2011 by krisis

Alright, I’m wiped out beyond recognition right now (more on that tomorrow), but I promised reactions to the full episode of The Voice to accompany my Battle Round post.

.

The introductory recappery and previewing things that will happen in five minutes seemed crazily over-indulgent, but I guess if your new show is posting week-over-week ratings increases you have to catch up new fans. Your show is a commercial for your show.

There were voices, there were chairs, we had seasons in the sun. Et cetera. It’s very interesting that Emily Valentine got face time twice in the brief montage alongside top picks Jeff, Javier, and Kelsey. In a sneak peak at Team Christina’s room, Tarralyn gives great face – a crazy bitch face when X-Tina says “[only one singer] …survives.” It’s the first of many terrific faces she pulls this episode. [Read more…] about Recap: #TheVoice – Battle Round #1

Filed Under: teevee Tagged With: Recap, The Voice

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