trio: season 4, #1
Not So Bad, Mother Mother, Relief
Not So Bad, Mother Mother, Relief
Creative
”Why finish a song when you can start a new one?”
It might sound silly to you, but to me and a lot of other songwriters it’s a question that comes up every day. It happens to be posed from my favorite living songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/arranger/producer, Jon Brion.
(Here’s where i was going to link to the excellent NYT article about him, but now you have to pay to read it. Which is sad, ’cause this was such a nice link-centric weblog post, but, oh well. Maybe i’ll shell out the $2.95 and mirror it here. Some excerpts are currently living here. Luckily, Izabelle is a freaking genius and reminded me that all of Drexel has a free subscription to the NYT, so here is a virtual clipping.)
Brion, a genius along the lines of Brian Wilson or Phil Spector, not only plays on and produces recent work from songwriters Macy Gray, Rufus Wainwright, Aimee Mann, and (my personal favorite) Fiona Apple, but also wrote and arranged the score for Paul Thomas Anderson’s latter two films, Magnolia and Punch Drunk Love. Oh, and he has his own (previously impossible to order) album, Meaningless, which apparently represents less than a tenth of his entire song catalog — because, if we only hear the recordings of his songs, we’ll never hear them “finished.”
Genius. Freakin’ genius. If i were to put together an all-star cast to record an album with, Brion would definitely be my number one, no exceptions, no substitutions, no replacements choice to be the producer. And, actually, maybe also the guitarist, pianist, drummer, string arranger, and backup singer as well.
my hair : my website’s layout :: my handwriting : my singing
That was the final post of my first day of blogging. Over three years ago i said that i would elaborate on it, but in the absence of any elaboration the post became a kind of private in-joke, a punchline with no setup.
Honestly, i forgot what i had meant to say. For three years the post has stared at me expectantly from the top of that first archive page, as if to say, “Haven’t you figured out yet?” Today i finally did.
This morning i watched a co-worker addressing an envelope, and i caught myself thinking his handwriting was unbearably sloppy. Not because it was illegible, or irregular, but because he did not use any straight lines. The side of his N bowed inwards; the cross of his J was like a wry grin.
In that moment i was reminded of the post, and i suddenly understood — both the post and how i can spend four hours of recording the vocals of just one song, never quite satisfied. It’s not that anything about his writing and my singing is incomprehensible, or incorrect. No. It’s the unintentional lack of precision. I dislike my singing because i scoop vowels and slur consonants without consciously meaning to — i just sing the way that i would speak. It’s not wrong, but it’s not on purpose either. It’s exactly the reason i cringed at my coworker’s version of “NJ” on the envelope – he didn’t have any straighter lines to offer it.
I used to covet good handwriting — perfect, font-like handwriting. I strove for perfection, writing my letters correctly, perfectly vertical, perfectly rounded. After a few years the perfection came with relative ease, so i allowed myself to slowly slip away from it. I began creating my own font, stylizing my fs and as, not because i was sloppy, or lazy, but because i was personalizing. Making it my own. Whereas, i cannot yet force my voice to be perfectly rounded or piercingly straight, so i cannot afford to blur its edges.
From there, it’s easy to complete the analogy that has been plaguing me for so long. My hair is something i used to be so apathetic to that i just let it grow, hanging down my neck in a nondescript tail or surrounding my face in a bushy halo. I was specifically against styling it an any way — it seemed to be besides the point. However, in college i started paying more attention. Now, though i tend to wait a few weeks too long to get a new haircut, i always look in the mirror before i walk out the door. My page’s layout is the perfectly analogous to this — it’s something i used to treat as transparent, but that i now detail carefully, if not often. It has a function: it is part of my appearance — the impression that i give off.
In short, at the time i hadn’t yet exercised control over my hair and my handwriting, and had just got the inkling that i would have the same issues with my layout and my voice. And, three years later, i feel as though i have mastered the former and am just now beginning to consciously control the latter.
Wow, i just freed up a few brain circuits that have been locked up for the majority of my collegiate career. I ought to do a crossword.
As promised, i made my 7am appearance on TDavid’s radio show, complete with an entire verse of “Under My Skin” sung over the phone, and a broadcast of Lindsay and Anthony’s absolutely heartstoppingly good “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” (see below). I think TDavid’s going to keep broadcasting through the end of the ‘Thon, so pay his stream a visit.
Oh my god, David just referred to Judy Garland as “a crushing krisis,” i think i’m going to get cramps from giggling.
I am an overachiever.
In 2001 I found myself debating whether or not I should join the Blogathon. Sure, staying up all day (and all night) to raise money for charity sounded fun, but it seemed almost pedestrian. I blogged all the time already; what would keep me occupied? What would i talk about?
My solution was overkill; i would step into the Drexel Recording Studio, record twenty-five new songs, and post one every hour for the length of the ‘thon. I dutifully made it in once, recording a fifth of the songs i had due, but i was shocked to find that the studio was CLOSED for renovations the following week. I wound up recording at home, and to compensate for the low quality i increased the output — i released a virtual record every hour on the hour, complete with an A-side and a B-side. Fun was had, money was raised, sleep was averted.
Last year I dutifully signed up and started recording, but I found myself simply retreading the same ground as the year before, only with new songs. I certainly wasn’t interested in standing in front of my computer, belting out twenty-five songs into my tiny built in microphone. How could i make things more interesting? My solution was blowing an entire stipend check on recording equipment. I came home with two microphones, a cornucopia of quarter inch wires, and an eight-track mixing board. I’ve been listening to the results for an entire year; songs whose nuances had never been captured before suddenly leapt to life as crisp digital files. And, for the first time, i recorded with other people – not just Gina, who had grown accustomed to my low quality recording technique, but Lindsay, Kate, Elise, Jack, & Dante – a veritable band!
The challenge this year? It’s twofold, actually. First, I’m on-staff with the ‘Thon itself, helping to develop a rudimentary PR identity which i plan to flesh out as a part of my Communications Senior Thesis. Second is, of course, the songs. However, at this point it’s not just me challenging myself, it’s the songs challenging me.
My challenge this year is to make the songs i’ve chosen, both originals and covers, more than they are on paper. My challenge is to hone my voice, solidify my guitar playing, fine-tune my mixing. I am too often content to settle for an unexpected ad-lib, a slightly out-of-tune string, or barely audible vocals. My challenge this year is to be happy with my product before i’ve heard it played back a dozen time. My challenge this year is to compel listeners to come back for more after they’ve checked out a familiar tune.
My challenge is to challenge you. Request. Inspire. Listen. Comment. And, maybe Donate – i put a lot of thought into choosing World Education as my charity, but you’ll have to wait until the ‘Thon itself to hear my full rationale. In short – literacy is what has allowed you and i to have this wonderful relationship of author and reader; I think we can all afford $6 towards giving that gift to someone else.
July 26th, 9AM to 9AM. Tune In, Stay Up, Make A Difference.