Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

theatre

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We are producing two student written plays that are very witty and funny and i got cast as the male lover in both of them against the same female lover. I didn’t really think about the reality of kissing someone night after night on stage when i was auditioning, but now it looks like i am adding one more person to my impeccably neat little list of lips i have locked with, and my irrational fear of herpes alarm bell is ringing like mad. And, chat logs are lame.

Peter: I’m feeling much more apple-pie than normal

Rabi: is it fun?

Peter: No, not really. Well, the kissing thing is very shocking, but of all the people i could be kissing it’s absolutely the person i’m most ambivalent about kissing … which is good, because – no trouble. But, which is bad, because i am a romantic and meeting a girl in a love scene (or a making out repeatedly scene, as the case may be) in a play works out in my head

Rabi: the thing about those romantic fantasyish scenarios is that they have such a slight chance of ever being as good as they could be in a story or a song or whatever

Peter: Well, one of the other people i could be kissing met her boyfriend freshmen year doing the play. So, i didn’t want to kiss her either, cause it would be weird. I really wanted the almost-kiss girl to audition, because we would definitely get cast against each other.

Peter: And, of course, in my head my current partner quits the play in a huff and her replacement is some perfect girl and we fall for each other madly, but that’s just how things work in my head. They have a certain sort of gravitational symmetry

Rabi: kismet ?

Peter: Yes, but Kismet in Peter’s-Head Romantic Gravitational Units (phRGU) instead of Real-World Romantic Gravitational Units (rwRGU)

Rabi: I totally read that as fargo

Rabi: phrgu that is

Rabi: in some ways though isn’t it better to imagine it than have it actually happen? or something?

Peter: Um….

Peter: I think that’s been too much of my life so far. I mean, you read my page, right?

That sums it all up pretty well, i think. And remember, equations involving Crushing Krisis always need to be equated into phRGU. Or, fargos, for short.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4494829/

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mocha chocolata ya ya…

Oh, erm, i’m sorry, was that me singing? I somehow (don’t ask) wound up purchasing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack today on my lunchbreak, arguably to hear Nicole Kidman’s singing since she’s one of my all-around favourite movie stars and since both her and Ewan McGregor reportedly got signed to record contracts after promos of the soundtrack started floating around. David Bowie is also all over this disc with a new song, Beck covering “Diamond Dogs,” and a verse of “Heroes” inexplicably getting plugged into “Elephant Love Medly.” The first is incredibly scrumptious with Bowie literally crooning over a lush orchestral arrangement that accompanies the majority of the songs on the disc. However, Beck’s “Diamond Dogs” is an atrocity that only his general aura of coolness can make up for.

But, anyhow, i keep coming back to “Lady Marmalade,” not because i’m a pop music whore, but because it’s girl power. Four of today’s youngest and most recognizable voices in pop music on one great song that deserved a remake just so that people would know the name of the song that they’re quoting when they say “voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” It’s like Whitney Houston’s solid-gold remake of “I’m Every Woman” times four and with Christina Aguliera actually slutted up appropriately for the content of the song. And, hello, where the fuck did Pink get that voice? I’m honestly thinking about buying a Pink album (i mean, she is from Philly… of course, i haven’t laid down cash for the first Eve disc yet, and i love that). But, anyhow, aside from the overpowering midi-bass/guitar sampler backing up the song it’s really excellent (listen to the way those drums snap!) and i’m sure i’ll have Christina’s vocal part down to a science in a week or two. And, listening to Lil’ Kim sing here and there is really funny.


So, i’m sitting here wrapped in a towel listening to something from Billboard’s top40 and playing Snood and contemplating how i just got cast in two plays that involve me making out on stage. A lot. Didn’t i mention that earlier? Oh well, now you have to wait until rehearsal’s over. -xoxox

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4491745/

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Meanwhile, though i had nothing interesting to say to any of you this weekend, some things transpired. First, i finished the four instrumental pieces i was recording for Bill’s show that’s opening in Washington this week, which means i have a shot at playing at the Philly Fringe Fest. They sound very good, especially “Occasionally,” which is a Melissa Etheridge song sung simply to her beating on her guitar like a drum. I wrote a very Melissa arrangement for it on guitar and it sounds lovely and i might do it for the page tomorrow night if i get bored. Also, i was on PuppetMaster constantly this weekend because Ernie and Belinda were out camping and Bertie was galavanting around Washington DC with her exgirlfriend and Marissa. So, basically, it was just me and the puppets for 48hours. It’s not just that i get off on being the sole source of archival information for two whole game-days, i love how they all actually pay attention to my snarky little commentary and interact with me. But, anyway, today we lost Pete, who was by-far my favourite contestant in all possible ways (to read and to speculate about. But, i hardly hit on him at all. We left that to tom). So, i was a busy little bee this weekend between guitar playing, and hitting on imaginary people, and drowning.

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4459587/

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Today was a long day in the studio. (Ha!, does that sound familiar? Sooner or later i’ll just buy the equivalent equipment so going into the studio won’t be such big stress). Tomorrow will be a long day as well; it sucks because i have to skip a major social function to get this done, but i put it off so damned long that this is the price i pay. Not only do i need to keep working on 25/24, i have to record 4 songs that are being used in a production of Girl on Girl that opens in Washington CD this Thursday and comes up to the Philly FringeFest in a month. If i do a quality job on them (3 obscure Melissa Etheridge songs & “oh father” by Madonna) i might get a chance to play live at the FringeFest, which would be a big deal.


So, yeah. I’m in sortof a positive mode about my music because the new songs are being very friendly to each other and i’m not really missing the old songs too much (which is why it was nice to the do the demo when i did). There is a slim possibility i might do a Trio tomorrow, but that’ll be the the last audio you hear out of me before 25/24. Wow, was that a boring post or what? Here’s an insert from PuppetMaster to make it more exciting: “I’m glad that i haven’t succumbed to my deep-seated urge to become a tranny hooker. Yet.“

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/07/4429922/

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#18 is true. The first time i was ever on stage i didn’t want to be there, and i forgot all of the words. Okay… this one is a little fudgy, but it holds up. I had obviously been on stage before this experience, whether it be to accept my treasured Christian leauge math awards (i obviously intend to bring that Christmas shows. However, that’s not where it gets fudgy; the first two times i was a featured performer on a stage was playing my recorder in fifth grade, and narrating a part of a play in fifth grade. Both events had to have happened in fifth grade because i associate them with the same teacher, and they both had to have happened at the Christmas show because the only other show was the Sping show and that was done by the middle school that year. So, i’m going on the basic assumption that the narration occurred before the recorder playing, but either way this works out because i definitely remember not wanting to play the recorder and not knowing what i was playing while i was onstage.
up once a day now), or to stand way in the background of the chorus in silly school

Anyway, there was some narration in the Christmas play about babies and mangers and love that needed to be read by someone, and anyone even remotely interested in having a part in the show had already been merrily drafted. So, the teacher in charge of casting decided that it was futile to poll the ranks of students for a reluctant actor for such an important piece of the show, but to instead draft the best reader in entire grade school. Which, happily enough, was me. However, i thought the whole Christmas show concept was incredibly silly, as we tended to do essentially the same “god is god, materialism is bad, praise the baby jesus” schtick every year, and i stubbornly refused to take the part. And, then, mysteriously, i was somehow cajoled to do it (i’m sure they preyed upon my ego, as that had to be the only way they could have convinced me).


What no one deigned to mention to me before i agreed to be in the play was that i wasn’t exactly narrating – in that i was calmly reading from a text as a narrator would – instead i was supposed to memorize the whole thing and then spit it back out convincingly while staring into the audience with a smile plastered onto my face.


I honestly tried to memorize and smile and all of that, but it wasn’t in the stars. I was terrible at memorizing things (bible verses were my dreaded nemesis), i didn’t like to be put up in front of that many people to perform (or for any other reason (other than awards, obviously)), and i had absolutely zero projection skills (i was still relatively meek, probably due to my beaver-sized buck teeth). So, when it came time for the show i was ushered out onto the stage protesting that i needed the book to read from even though they had already conceeded that i could have a microphone. So, when it came time for my moment in the spotlight (literally, right as the spotlight hit me) i gave the teacher who was on-book in the first row a combined look of imminent dread and fear, and she raced to the stage and handed me the book, and i wound up reading the narration into the microphone perfectly. The end.

(Ironically, memorization, getting up in front of people, and projection are now three of my most useful traits. I’m not sure if wound up being so performance oriented as a response to this particular incident or not, but i do always remember being vaguely jealous of the people who auditioned for parts in grade school. Also, there are lots of hints about the other truths and lies in this entry, but some of them are slightly misleading.)

https://crushingkrisis.com/2001/06/3899712/