thoughts

x-rated opinions (or, it’s offensive no matter how nicely you say it)

October 14, 2011 by krisis

An over-sized hard-cover collecting every single issue of X-Statix, including all of the same sex kissing, is out next month – and Amazon has it available to pre-order for 40% off!

I readily admit that I completely take for granted living within a gossamer soap bubble of acceptance floating in the midst of a hugely liberal city. In any given week I never once interact with a person who is any less than totally accepting of people of all races, beliefs, and sexual identities.

Unfortunately, the internet is a little less accepting, despite my attempts to maintain my bubble of open-mindedness.

For example: I regularly visit a number of X-Men and Marvel forums to answers questions and promote my Guide to Collecting X-Men. Last night, someone asked if a particular upcoming omnibus of X-Statix comics would be appropriate for his children.

Totally fair question, right?

Except, that’s not exactly the question he actually asked. What he asked was this:

I was trying to get some info on what it’s about and read there are some overtly homosexual characters and themes, is this true? I just want to make sure if the themes are adult in nature that my young children don’t pick up the book off my shelves expecting simple heroics and see two same sex individuals kissing.

My intention is not to offend anyone but to educate myself.

There are so many things wrong with that message board post that for about five minutes I simply could not compute. My brain locked up like a computer aimed at a website full of animated gifs of from Maury Povich.

I cannot possibly cosign this statement any more.

First, and most obvious – why does it matter? To play off a recent image doing the rounds on social networks, how is gay kissing any different than straight kissing? Or, since we’re talking about a comic book, the potentially confusing shapeshifter kissing or alien kissing, and the occasional robot kissing?

Answer: It’s not. It’s just kissing. Either kissing is appropriate for your kids, or it isn’t. Either it’s appropriate in public or it isn’t. Either it’s appropriate on a plane or it’s not. “Gay” shouldn’t enter into the equation.

Second, there is the careful defusal at the end of the question. You see, it’s not offensive because they are using very polite terms about their bigotry. They simply want to educate themselves on how to promote bigotry.

That’s totally inoffensive, right? And bullying doesn’t hurt anyone unless they choose to feel hurt, right?

What if he had said “two Mexicans kissing” or “two people of different races kissing”? Or “a woman in a leadership position over men”? Or “a person with a disability doing simple heroics next to a able-bodied superhero”?

It’s all bigotry, no matter how nicely you phrase it.

only you can prevent our transformation into a society of unthinking automatons that will be subsequently infiltrated by shapeshifting alien robots

October 12, 2011 by krisis

I want you all to engage in a minor social experiment slash disruption with me for the rest of the week.

One of my vows in life is to answer completely and honestly when relative strangers and vague acquaintances inquire “how’s it going?” or “how have you been?”

"A neural transceiver is required for maximum communication. Why do you resist? We only wish to raise quality of life for all species."

I know that these are meant to be comforting, routine, call-and-response queries. Just like saying “amen” in church at all the right times, they’re not supposed to be about meaningful engagement. More like a rote reply to indicate you’re awake and semi-functioning as a human being.

Except, would any of these routine queries actually screen me out if I was a shapeshifter, robot, or alien in disguise? No. These are the sort of rudimentary things you would learn in “Infiltrating the Society of Those Meddling Humans 101.” Said infiltrating shapeshifter/robot/alien can respond in one of three ways:

1. Single Word Superlative (“outstanding”)
2. Two Word Adverb/Adjective Combo Describing a State of Being (“kinda busy”)
3. Deflection Via Mention of Present Meteorological Phenomenon (“it keeps raining!”)

Advanced students may also learn to deflect by griping about the most recent loss by a local sports club, but that would indicate an unusually high sensitivity to human culture that would be better used to infiltrate a more nuanced medium, like cable news.

"I'm through with the Philliessssssss breaking my heart."

It’s not just that these “testing for humanity” queries are not doing their job – they’re actually doing the opposite. They are dehumanizing us. They are meant to turn us into a society of undifferentiated call-and-response automatons.

I refuse to play this daily charade, and invite you to join me in my protest. For the rest of this week, if a semi-stranger asks you one of these routine queries, respond with a unique insight into your life.

It doesn’t have to be lengthy, or revealing. Just tell them something they’re not going to hear from anyone else. Today my reply is:

I’m feeling very optimistic, because I put a lot of big things into motion yesterday at work and at home. I hope today is as awesome. Plus, I get to play two great new songs with my wife’s band tonight at rehearsal!

Will you join me in my crusade? As a side effect, we’ll be making our culture more resistant to infiltration by shapeshifting alien robots.

the story so far

September 29, 2011 by krisis

I have a history of getting in way over my head on Crushing Krisis.

I just want you to keep that in mind, as a dedicated CK reader and non-comic book fan. Because, I know that describes a lot of you, and at the moment it seems like comics have completely overtaken the blog.

It’s called a linewide relaunch by DC Comics, there are 52 issues, and in one of those piques of insanity I have about blogging I convinced myself I was going to outdo all of those professional comic book websites and review all 52 in-depth all by myself.

Please consider the past insanities CK has witnessed. I posted 25 new recordings in 24 hours not once, but three times. I’ve blogged every day for a month twice, the first time also recording a song a day. I posted seven two-song digital records in seven days. I created the only comprehensive guide to collecting X-Men on the entire internet. I wrote a book in 30 days. I listed the best 40 albums of 2011 after listening to nearly 200 contenders.

Point being, when I set my mind to doing something insane on CK, I follow through, but it rarely becomes an habit forever.

Are comics going to go away on 10/1? No. They’re a story-telling medium I’ve always loved, and I’m excited to integrate them into the mix of topics at CK. Next year I even want to find a way to release my own comic, despite my ineptitude at all forms of illustration.

Are you going to continue to endure 3-4 comic reviews a day, every day, all month, totally devouring your feed reader.

No.

Just so we’re clear.

the gift of me

September 22, 2011 by krisis

Photo shot by Ashley Hall, courtesy of Jump Philly.

Alright, how do I do this without being insufferably both maudlin and self-congratulatory.

Fuck it, it’s my birthday.

Over the summer I received a phone call. I was sure it was a prank or mistake. From what I could make out from the rapid-fire message, someone wanted to interview me for a magazine.

As it happened, I was jumping through a lot of life’s other hoops that week, so I didn’t return the call. But then I got another call. This was a real person, and yes she was looking for Peter the musician. She wanted to do a brief profile on me for a local indie music mag called Jump Philly – yes, a physical magazine, not just a blog.

Now, I’ve been featured in media before. Probably the best mention was during one of the Blogathons, when I was quoted on MSNBC. But that time and all of those other times I was being mentioned in relation to something I was helping to produce.

Photo shot by Ashley Hall, courtesy of Jump Philly.

This time I was being mentioned for producing myself – in particular, my songs for Eric Smith‘s novel.

I had an amazing, hilarious conversation with my interviewer Lauren over sushi on South Street. I coached myself on staying on-message before-hand, but it was no use: get me in front of someone who keeps asking me questions about music and see how well I stay “on-message.” I wind up telling anecdotes about Jem.

(Lauren immediately inquired with glee, “That was on the record, right? Because I am totally using that.”)

The one message I managed to hammer was spelled Dee Aye Why. Every answer dovetailed back to how I did something myself. Taught myself guitar. Got the keys to Drexel’s recording studio with just one term of classes. Self-recorded every song of mine ever released.

The issue came out around Labor Day. Before I could see it, someone at a wedding told me they had picked it up and seen a picture of me. Me!

The photos were taken some weeks after the sushi. Eric, Lauren, and I chased good light all over South Street with photog Ashley Hall until we found our spot.

She snapped away. I coached myself on staying on-message. With my body-language, I mean. I notoriously hate just about every photo of myself taken by anyone except for E and, apparently, MikeyIl. Everyone catches me in these gawky moments between moments. And I don’t like to smile with teeth, because it makes me look silly.

To say I was awaiting the issue with trepidation would be an understatement. There was so much message to be off! I’d probably come off sounding like an ass and looking like Goofy.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. And, let’s not misconstrue me here – I am not bragging about being phenomenally on-message in my interview and photo calll.

Photo shot by Ashley Hall, courtesy of Jump Philly.

No. First, I was in the hands of professionals who cared about getting my story right.

And, second, my life as a whole is what I want it to be, so what is there to get wrong? Lauren talked about my many musical endeavors, all true. Ashley shot a trim and – dare I say – slightly muscular looking version of me beside the ever dashing Eric Smith.

I had nothing to object to, and I have nothing to object to today. As far as I am concerned, thirty is a signpost on a road of awesome goals achieved and dreams realized. It means I’m old enough to call out petty bullshit for what it is, and for people to know to take me seriously even when I am proposing the most outlandish thing.

That’s a far cry from turning twenty, ten years ago, when I blogged: “The world is the container of a finite amount of possibilities both big and small, and i don’t think any chain of events will ever make me truly happy even if you substitute in all of the right jobs and friends and lovers where there are just empty spaces right now.”

Tell that to the guy in these photos.

DC New 52 Review: Demon Knights #1

September 18, 2011 by krisis

DC’s linewide relaunch disperses a few titles to interesting fringes of the four-color universe – army comics, westerns, and this medieval entry into the lineup.

While guns and horses might not be big draws for me, I love middle ages stories no matter the medium and the cover of this comic is to-die-for.

Why any hint of skepticism? The cover isn’t from the interior artist – it’s from Detective Comics‘ killer auteur Tony S. Daniel. Second, writer Paul Cornell – so witty on team books like Captain Britain & MI:13 and Stormwatch, seems like a peculiar fit for the thee and thou speech of Camelot.

Can Cornell dial back the quips while Digenes Neves turns in something to equal Daniel’s killer cover?

Demon Knights #1

Written by Paul Cornell, art by Diogenes Neves and Oclair Albert

Rating: 3.5 of 5 – Great

In a Line: “The Celts have odd ways. Nod and smile.”

#140char Review: Demon Knights #1 is a fun read w/terrific art. Cornell accelerates to full madcap wit a bit too quickly at the climax, but it’s still great

CK Says: Consider it.

Demon Knights #1 is a comic version of a popcorn flick – a fast-moving swords and sorcery tale that eschews period language for quips like “sod this.” It would be A Knight’s Tale if not for the absence of a soggy rock soundtrack (though I’m sure Cornell has one playing while he writes it), and perfect for the World of Warcraft crowd if not for a surfeit of whimsy.

A two page intro ripped directly from the pages of The Once and Future King roots new readers on steady, familiar ground, before Cornell swiftly departs from the established myth and fast forwards four centuries. The story follows two Camelot cast-offs – Madame Xanadu, a renegade priestess of Avalon, and Jason Blood, a hapless youth who shares a body with Merlin’s demonic assistant Etrigan. In the present, a magical horde of pillagers and dinosaur-like humanoid dragons is tearing through the countryside to the fictional destination of Alba Sarum, and our erstwhile pair of heroes (and sometimes lovers, depending on who is in charge of Blood’s body) have stopped in pub directly in their path of destruction.

Any question I had about Diogenes Neves’ artwork compared to Daniel’s cover is answered by the first page, a knockout image of a storybook gone entirely wrong. We never get another reason to doubt him. His textured pencils are treated to an amazing interweave of delicate inks from Oclair and spiderwebs of crackling color from Marcelo Maiolom.

While the tone gets less less classically staid as we exit the Future King framing device, those careful details find their way into every page. Add to that a set of beautifully distinct faces and an attractive palette of pinks and purples and you have a stunning issue of art.

I don’t fault Cornell at all for not thee and thouing his way through the entire issue – it saps the life from characters and tend to be accompanied by horrific font choices. So why is this book not “excellent”? Cornell loses his footing as he ratchets the pace with every new character he introduces. By the final panel the plot has become a touch too frenetic for him to pilot surely.

While I understand the need to introduce all seven medieval soldiers to the plot, here’s one case where I would have preferred Justice League’s more leisurely pace of introductions. That said, like Jim Lee on JL, Neves provides plenty of opportunities to linger on each panel – it’s just that here the lingering is a welcome pause before the script rushes forward.

Even with the modern language and rapidly accelerating pace, Demon Knights is a highly enjoyable read due in no small part to Cornell’s wit and an unassailable and altogether stunning set of artwork from Neves, Oclair, and Maiolom. Everything here points to more fun to be had in subsequent issues, which I will definitely be reading.

(Disclaimer: I have a major soft spot for British comic book humor, sorcery, dragons as dinosaurs, woman with swords, and villains who heartlessly kill children. Basically, I am this book’s target audience. Your mileage may vary, but if you need bonus background see the outstanding blog Gone! Gone! The Form of a Man!, which is dedicated to annotating eacb issue with all the mythological and cartographic facts you need to digest it fully.)