Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

krisis

Krisis has been creating Crushing Krisis since 2000, writing songs since 1996, and reading comics since 1991. He is a Customer Success and Digital Brand Strategy executive, serial organizer, parent, and feminist, among other things. Based in Philly through 2017, he now resides in Wellington, NZ.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2E04 – “Drag Movie Shequels”

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This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens tackled sequels of three famous camp films and brought their best two-fashions-in-one reveals to the runway.

rpdras-s2e04-queen-revealAs with last episode’s lip sync extravaganza, this episode is a greatest hits of queen performances – the weakest pair of acting jobs are still hilarious and the worst runway is gag-worthy. Uneven (some would say unfair) judging casts a pall over affairs and makes the obvious winner of the week look messy as a result.

However, none of that compares to the reveal of the final frames of the episode, which found the four eliminated queens staring back at the five remaining queens through one of their workroom mirrors. The eliminated girls are back and ready for their revenge!

And now, on to the rankings!

1. Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Runner-Up, Season 5. Pre-Season Rank: 1. To date: 2, 1, 1. Average: 1

rpdras-s2e04-alaska-maxi-01An acting challenge is the perfect bounceback for Alaska after a week where she would have been in the bottom if not for her shrieking alien runway outfit.

While her results were bit mixed, the show’s reflexive applause for her efforts prove that this season was designed for Alaska to win in the same way All Stars 1 was Chad’s game to lose.

Be warned, fair readers: I’m about to drag this beloved drag queen a bit despite her top ranking.

Alaska was gifted with the most gag-worthy, meme-generating character in the trio of acting scenes, Bette Davis’s legendary Baby Jane. I have to believe that this script was destined for Alaska no matter what, just like the script with the “tired old showgirl” joke was going to be Phi Phi’s (who knows what would’ve happened if they paired up).

rpdras-s2e04-alaska-runway-01Alaska slayed in her uncanny Baby Jane impression, which proves she could have easily done Bette Davis for Snatch Game (a Jinkx favorite on the Best of the Seasons tour). However, all the mugging as her impressive caricature made her scene also feel like the Snatch Game – it was joke-to-joke instead of moving smoothly through a story as the other two did.

While you could blame the script for the herky-jerky quality of the scene, it didn’t help that every one of Alyssa’s interjections felt like a full stop in the action. Alaska was a clear winner, but she doomed Alyssa in the process.

As for the runway, this was one of Alaska’s weakest of all time yet she got a pass for being Alaska when Alyssa got a fail for being Alyssa. The runway theme was a dual-fashion reveal, but Alaska’s lumpy trash bag burqa didn’t qualify as fashion. Beneath, she presented a decidedly inelegant take on her legendarily foul mini-challenge creation, Lil’ Poundcake. It was shabby when it should have been stunning, which would have only further sold her petulant mugging as Poundcake.

rpdras-s2e04-alaska-runway-02(Non-fan E caught a glimpse and said, “Well, that was pathetic.”)

Luckily, the judges love in-jokes (as do fans) so they ate it up. However, it’s insulting to see such applause for Alaska in joke-mode when everyone else in the field smoked her on reveals and were all considerably more elegant. She then delivered a lackluster, unserious lip sync on one of the best lip sync songs of all time – “Got Be Real” by Cheryl Lynn – all while Phi Phi destroyed it with perhaps the best sync of the season.

We get it Alaska – you’re a skilled impersonator, even of your own characters (including yourself). I came into this season rooting for Alaska, but after four weeks of All Stars I’m looking for something a little bit more. Hopefully Alaska delivers in spades for next week’s comedy challenge to keep some semblance of objectivity going in this race since it’s not destined to be suspenseful.

Otherwise, I’m hoping for an upset by the queen who has Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent right in her name… [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Power Rankings, S2E04 – “Drag Movie Shequels”

on Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent, and Transmisogyny

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This weekend the heavy favorite to take home the Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series is Jeffrey Tambor, who plays a woman on Amazon’s show Transparent.

More accurately, Tambor plays a trans woman – a woman who has transitioned from being a man. It’s a stellar role on a series that spends a lot of time on voices we don’t traditionally hear from in sitcoms.

And I really, really dislike it.

Jamie Clayton and Freema Agyeman, stars of Netflix's Sense8.

Jamie Clayton and Freema Agyeman, stars of Netflix’s Sense8.

This isn’t my typical hyper-critical nature rearing its head. The show is fine. The thing I don’t like is Tambor himself in the role.

Having a cisgender man (i.e., “a person whose self-identity conforms with the gender that corresponds to their biological sex”) cast in the role of trans woman not only takes the role away from a trans actor, but also emphasizes the inherent maleness of the character. That’s a trait most trans woman characters are trying to leave behind as they live an external life aligned with their internal gender identity. If a trans actor wasn’t available for the part, a cisgender woman would be more appropriate since the truth of the character is as a woman, not a man.

No matter how much Tambor transforms into the role, we will still see him at awards ceremonies as a man. His next role will likely be as a man. Tambor is sensitive and supportive in every media appearance for the show – a true ally – but all the accolades he’s won and will continue to win for Transparent will be about how bravery and honesty of his portrayal of a woman in transition.

It would be more brave and honest to have an trans artist like the Jamie Clayton on Sense8 or Laverne Cox in Orange Is The New Black (two shows with their own set of other representational challenges).

I’ve had trouble articulating this discomfort to friends in conversation, especially as a cisgender white dude who doesn’t really have a stake in this discussion. Why do Transparent and The Dutch Girl bother me so deeply when I’m fine with the way Drag Race and Hedwig and The Angry Inch dissect gender roles with men portraying women?

Then, a few weeks ago, I came across a powerful series of tweets from writer and actress Jen Richards. Richards articulates my objections concisely and crystallizes them with additional detail. I present them here, unedited, in their entirety. [Read more…] about on Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent, and Transmisogyny

the twin challenges of reading and other children

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EV had a 36-hour runny-nosed cold yesterday and I’d really like to blame it on other children, but I refuse to let them take credit for all of the books we read together.

On Monday I finally went to the gym at the local YMCA, five months into this stay-at-home experiment that was supposed to be at least fractionally about getting back into the shape I was in five years ago. Going to the gym by day meant depositing EV into a kid’s playroom for the better part of an hour – something that has always given me pause.

I’ve met the director at the Y and would trust her chosen child-minders implicitly, plus the environment is a room filled with toys and books without a screen in sight. The pause comes from the children they are minding. I don’t know them or their manners or what vapid TV shows they watch or what their parents have been teaching them.

It’s tempting to assign this fear of other children to a yuppy millennial helicopter parenting, and I’m sure some portion of it has to do with that, but my fear of other children influencing EV comes from my own distaste for other kids growing up. I wanted no part of them and their messy, silly, rough ways. Even though I watched all the TV they did and played with a lot of the same toys, I never wanted to be associated with other kids. I didn’t even want to be one myself, which was an easy illusion to maintain as I hung out in bars with my father and went out to dinner with my mother.

I’m not trying to raise EV to be a mini-me or to have the same mistrust of her peers that I had – to this day it remains as an unhealthy habit of keeping my peers at arm’s length. Yet, when I see kids EV’s age who act up, always have their hands in their mouth, spout nonsense words, are picky with food, yell and screech, or play rough and imitate guns, I can’t help but sneer at them just as I did when I was a little kid. I don’t want EV to miss out on important peer interaction, but I don’t want her to think that behavior is the acceptable norm, either. You can be more of a kid than I was without being a terrible little snot-nosed monster.

So, I gritted my teeth and left her eagerly exploring the play room while I huffed and puffed and lifted weights for an hour. She was perfectly cheerful when I picked her up.

Four hours later every part of my body was sore from class and EV had a definite case of the sniffles. “It was those damned runny nosed play-room kids,” I raged over internet chat to E and Lindsay. To their eternal credit as my life-parter and BFF, respectively, they replied separately but in verbatim unison: colds don’t incubate in four hours.

In other words: cool your jets, helicopter pilot.

The sniffles continued into yesterday, which put a whammy on some of our plans – I didn’t want to be the asshole parent who brought a contagious kid to the playground. (This led to me trying to explain the concept of “contagious” to EV – I love that we’re in the explaining things phase of parenting). Instead, we made a return trip the library to pick up a new batch of books to read at home. There, the librarian talked us into joining their “1,000 Books Before Kindergarten Challenge.”

“We’re starting this a bit late,” I said, trying to dissuade her from signing us up.

“It’s plenty of time!” she responded cheerily as she began to copy EV’s information down onto a registration card. “Plus, you can always count re-reading the same book multiple times.

It was as if she said the magic words. I could feel OCD Godzilla revving up in the interior of my gut, sharpening his nails within my bile duct as he contemplated that most kids were doing a SELECT ALL instead of a COUNT DISTINCT when querying their book reading – the obvious tactics of a book challenge cheater.

Godzilla and I quickly did the math. We had 24 months until Kindergarten, which meant maintaining a solid clip of 42 new books a month to hit the mark. But that was barely a book a day! We easily did 5-6 even on a slow day, but those were repeats from our own collection. Surely we could do better with 26 branches of the Delaware County Library System at our disposal and me as a stay-at-home-parent.

“Let me ask you something,” I said, giving the librarian a sly sidewise smile, “what’s the fastest anyone has ever completed the challenge.”

We’ve read 30 books in the last 24hrs and have another 20 ready to pick up at the library tomorrow. Today we cleared off our entire bookshelf to begin plotting our path through re-reading them and logging them for the challenge – which, to EV, is like letting her loose in a candy store. I quickly tired of hand-entry on the challenge sheet and switched over to a database format that would also track durations and duplicate reads.

I think we can nail this thing down in less than 100 days.

New Collecting Guide: Thanos, Marvel’s Mad Titan

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I’m happy to announce my first villainous comic guide – The Definitive Thanos Collecting Guide and Reading Order!

thanos-INFINITY2013004_GenThis guide isn’t only unique in focusing on a villain – it provides context for every one of Thanos’s significant comic appearances, so you can build your own ideal collection of Marvel’s Mad Titan.

Thanos made his cinematic debut in the post-credits scene in 2012’s The Avengers. From the explosion of fan fervor you’d never know that the multi-chinned purple villain had fewer than 200 in-continuity comic book appearances to his name at the time and had only once appeared in a monthly Avengers ongoing, over 35 years prior.

Originally a one-off 70s Iron Man villain, Thanos’s original notoriety came from his adoption by Jim Starlin, the creator behind the psychedelic space sagas of Captain Marvel and Adam Warlock. Thanos was the arch-nemesis of them both, but when Starlin’s initial run with Marvel wound down Thanos was shuttered along with Warlock and some of his supporting characters, revived only to usher Captain Marvel from this mortal coil in the classic Death of Captain Marvel graphic novel.

It was Starlin who again revived Thanos in the 90s during his run on Silver Surfer, this time as the only villain epic enough to assemble the entirety of Marvel’s heroes to fight him. Infinity Gauntlet was Marvel’s first linewide event with a featured mini-series plus tons of tie-ins that was centered on a singular foe. It was so successful that it spawned a pair of sequels in the following years.

After 1993, Thanos was finally unleashed on the Marvel Universe at large, but he was still used sparingly. Aside from an atypical run as a villain for Ka-Zar, Thanos stayed far away from the scrum of most of Marvel’s earthbound heroes for another 20 years! In that time he anchored another mini-series event, his own ongoing title, and was one of the main antagonists in Annihilation – the cosmic event that kicked off the line of stories that birthed Guardians of the Galaxy.

It wasn’t until Thanos’s cinematic debut that he entered the mainstream of Marvel, harassing the entire planet of heroes in Infinity while the Avengers were far afield in space. The result brought Thanos closer to the heart of Marvel’s storytelling than ever, with Jonathan Hickman using him as a central character in the run-up to Secret Wars.

Here’s the breakdown of all of Thanos’s major, most-essential appearances – each one is covered in the guide! [Read more…] about New Collecting Guide: Thanos, Marvel’s Mad Titan

Music Monday: “Perfect Illusion” – Lady Gaga

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Lady Gaga - Perfect IllusionIf you were returning to the mainstream after tepidly-received synthesizer-based record but also two years of acclaim as a jazz singer and actress, what would you want your comeback single to sound like?

That’s highwire challenge Lady Gaga faces this fall – a perilous popstar tightrope walk without a net.

First, no song will ever be as good as her sophomore comeback stunner “Bad Romance,” but there are other pitfalls. Too synth-y and it’s labeled as more of the same, too dance-y and it’s a regression. Too many repeated words and self-references and you’ve descended into schtick. If the vocals aren’t off the charts you get pegged as an also-ran who faked her way through the jazz period.

What’s a global icon to do? I’m not sure, but I’m also not sure you could do much better than “Perfect Illusion,” the sizzling single Gaga dropped at midnight on Thursday. It might not be a perfect pop song, but it’s a smartly-constructed comeback.

Let’s review all the parts, shall we?

First, note that this is a rock song. That’s signaled clearly by the sizzling i-VII-VI electric guitar riff that underpins the entire song and the pulsing fuzz bass that drives the verses. It’s also got a hint of disco which is unleashed in the outro – listen for the guitar stabs coming out of the key change chorus and a brief sample of a sawing string section.

With Katy Perry taking over for Lady Gaga in the world of synthetic pop and even Taylor Swift stealing Gaga’s tangle of minor key synths on songs like “Style,” Gaga couldn’t go back to the well. Dance-influenced rock is a radio mainstay now thanks to songs like “Shut Up and Dance” and this year’s breakout by 21 Pilots. It’s also Lady Gaga’s ancestral home where love of Bowie and Queen merge with 80s influences like Whitney Houston and Madonna.

A collaboration with Mick Ronson (of Amy Winehouse and “Uptown Funk” fame) and Kevin Parker (from Tame Impala) added tangible texture that Gaga usually reserves for ballads like “Speechless” and “Dope” without relying on an acoustic piano. That was necessary coming off of the critical acclaim from her past few years. Her chance to cross over to new fans or just more mature old ones is to present a more unvarnished version of herself and her sound. “Perfect Illusion” hits the mark, complete with a slight scream-y edge to the highest vocals.

When she was last on pop culture center stage, it was unquestioned that Gaga was a vocalist above all competitors save for Beyonce. She retakes that crown here, with all of her idiosyncrasies intact. Show-off-y key change aside (it tops out on Eb5 in chest), listen to how she carefully over-pronounces “i-loo-shun” every time. It’s a minor reference to her kooky heritage, repping for the obsessive theatre kids who keep their vowel sounds in check.

Another thing that’s intact? Gaga’s dead simple songwriting. If you’ve heard some complaints that this is just two verses, a brief brief, and an endless refrain, they’re from people who forgot “Love Game,” “Poker Face,” “Born This Way,” “Applause,” and all the other songs that fit this cookie-cutter structure. Gaga doesn’t waste a lot of words on verses.

All of that analysis skirts the issue of if the song is any good. I’d say it’s just “okay,” but so are many of Lady Gaga’s singles until they’ve been drilled into your brain. “Perfect Illusion” is no more or less basic than her debut on “Just Dance,” which features nary a memorable vocal hook and relies on repeated chords to be memorable.

Similar to “Just Dance,” “Perfect Illusion’ has verses that rely on simple two-note phrases and a chorus that is all bite-sized intervals. Another singer might have inverted the stepwise descent of “it wasn’t lo-o-ove” in the chorus to go up rather than down or introduce a leap of a third to make a more distinct hook. Yet, that would sacrifice the space to belt the key change as well as the dead-simple singalong quality of the chorus.

Also, note that she bagged the feel-good for-fans-only message of “Born This Way” and the self-reference of “Applause.” This is just a song, not a meta statement.

Beyonce might be the better singer and Katy Perry and Taylor Swift now the bigger pop stars, but Lady Gaga seems to have recalled that her past success was predicated on the fact that the best pop songs are best even when stripped down to their underpinnings. Here’s Gaga debuting “Perfect Illusion” live (and NSFW) not on a network morning show’s sweet spot, but in sweaty London club The Moth. If she has more of this savage energy for us in store on her record, it’ll be a hit.