Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

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#MusicMonday: I Blame Coco – “Self Machine”

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This post is about a song I have never heard that you cannot buy.

Sort of.

So much good new music arrived in my mailbox last week – Amanda Palmer, Adrien Reju, and Juliana Hatfield – and the coolest part is that I sponsored it all! Juliana Hatfield’s new LP was truly a surprise – an all-covers project with no hint of the setlist or direction when I pledged my support. Given that Hatfield’s past decade of albums have ranged from minimal acoustic to grungy indie rock, there was really no telling what would arrive.

When it showed up in our mailbox last week I did what you would expect and likely do yourself – I listened to the covers of songs that I knew. The version of “Learn to Fly” was delightful! I’m still digesting the rest of it.

Anyway, this is not a post about Juliana Hatfield (partially because Ms. Hatfield doesn’t have her album up for streaming/sharing anywhere – oh noes!). It’s about one of the songs she covered, a pretty and ingenious bit of sfi-fi tinged heartbreak called “Self Machine,” originally by I Blame Coca AKA Sting’s daughter, Eliot Paulina Sumner.

Lonely robot in a wasteland
Rusting in a lonely harbor
Lonely robot in a wasteland
Rusting in the harbor’s water

I’m not a human if you say I’m not
I’m not a human if my engines lock
And this motor that you call my heart
Is another machine that will stop

The Hatfield version of the song first came on as E and were running errands on Saturday, and you could almost draw a dotted line from our ears to the car speakers as they perked up. Not only is this a great song, but it brought out the best in Juliana Hatfield. Her singing is tuneful yet bruised, suspending by pulsing, buzzing synthesizers like a man laying on a bed of nails.

It’s one of her best songs in years – maybe ever.

Which brought me to the original I Blame Coco version. It’s good. I’d probably give it four stars if it came up on my iPod. But, in my first and only listen to the original version above, Sting Junior does not bring that same powerful fragility to the song. It’s too strident – too much declaration, not enough regret.

Of course, I wouldn’t know that without listening to Juliana Hatfield’s version. She took a good song and exploited it’s flaws in the best way possible. Her version is the more definitive of the two, in my mind.

Even if it was the I Blame Coco’s version I was obsessed with, her LP Constant isn’t available in the US, nor is the MP3 of this song (though you can buy the LP as an import).

The Juliana Hatfield version, which I am obsessed with an firmly believe you should buy, is not available for download anywhere, and Amazon only has a single copy of her CD – or, you can buy it directly from her.

Two versions of an excellent song, both trapped in the internet machine, unable to shake free.

Crushing On: Hip City Veg

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Myth: Vegan food is always a stuck-up meat imitation or utter rabbit food, and of no interest to people who don’t mind a bit of animal in their meals.

Fact: HipCityVeg is vegan fast food your entire office will merrily devour without question.

I am so utterly addicted to this vegan lunch joint at 18th and Sansom that our relationship has become deadly serious. After heading there experimentally with my wall-sharing colleague MK I have vowed to try every delectable item on their chalkboard menu.

I’m not sure what the next step is for us – usually once things get this serious I write a song about the person and/or food establishment I am crushing on.

I started with a Buffalo Bella – a huge portabella mushroom breaded and spiced up in the buffalo fashion. As a pescetarian, one of the few world-of-meat things I ever crave are buffalo ANYTHINGS – because, really, there aren’t many fish-y or veggie things that work well with the classic breading and sauce treatment. Well, this sandwich fits the bill perfectly – it isn’t trying to be chicken at all, it’s huge and luscious and spicy and will gradually explode all over your desk as you eat it as any good buffalo meal ought to.

Also, the best sweet potato fries in creation, paired with ridiculously incredible cilantro-black bean dip.

Fast forward to my next visit. I ordered the same thing (how can you turn that down) when a random woman in line started enthusing to me about the Udon Noodle Salad.

(This is the sort of thing that happens at HipCityVeg. While you are there everyone likes everyone else, but not in a creepy tie-dyed hippy way. People are just friendly in a way that isn’t brought out by a trip to Wendy’s. Did I mention vegan milkshakes? They are so good.)

Based on the recommendation, I picked up the Udon Noodle Salad on my next visit – and it was AMAZING. As utterly addictive as the Bella. I almost shamelessly drank the dressing out of the bottom of the container once I was through.

Almost!

That is when I made my vow to eat my way through the entire menu.

So far everything has been excellent. I would amend the Arugula Taco Salad onto the greatest hits list with my first two selections, as well as their irresistible Groothie. A few items have included fake “Chik’n,” but I don’t feel like it’s trying too hard to be chicken so much as it’s a convenient protein delivery system, happily accepted.

If you work within a few block radius of 18th and Sansom I highly recommend a pilgrammage.

Crushing On: Chronicle

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I love this minimalist poster. Beware – a more spoiler-filled version is displayed below.

This week I watched an amazing movie – and I almost turned it off after five minutes.

The movie was Chronicle, a $12 million small-scale superhero flick that just hit DVD after running in theatres earlier this year.

Why did I nearly turn it off? Two words: found footage.

On the list of cinematic tropes I categorically dislike, found footage movies rank consistently high. You know what I’m talking about. Cloverfield. Paranormal Activity. Ever since Gina and I saw the disjointed Blair Witch Project in the theatre I’ve held a special contempt for the contrivances of these flicks. You have to suspend your disbelief like whoa to trust that various characters would keep wielding a camera and talking to it through the challenges of the plot. As a result, a good story is frequently sacrificed to the lame cinematic device.

Also, there’s the shaky camera making you want to barf.

Lower on my list of trope no-nos – but still ranked – are superhero origin stories. Few superheros have origins so epic they should take an entire movie to tell. Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The Fantastic Four – these are heroes whose origins have been shown in a few frames of cartoon theme songs. Do they really merit entire movies to explain? Rather than reimagine an origin for the umpteenth iteration across all media, why not show us a unique portrayal of heroism that only your movie can achieve?

Chronicle is a found footage superhero origin story, and I loved it despite myself and my list of loathed tropes. Like, raving on Twitter about it before it was even over loved it. E loved it, too. It hit a random rental grand slam in our house.

Let’s just say that the movie does not waste Dane DeHaan’s resemblance to Mark Hamill. Honestly, it gives the movie a bit of extra resonance.

Now, how to explain the joy of this flick without giving away all of its prickly twists?

Chronicle‘s excuse for being found footage starts out having nothing to do with its overarching plot. Andrew is a peculiar loner (and dead ringer for Luke Skywalker) with few interests, a dying mother, and an abusive father. He picks up a camera one morning and begins documenting his life – ostensibly to catch his dad’s abuse on camera, but secretly to analyze his day to find some meaning in life.

He doesn’t manage to do either. What he does is capture an inexplicable event and its aftermath on camera. Suddenly, he is recording a historic breakthrough in human potential – partly just to document it, but still to find some meaning in life.

The breakthrough provides meaning, but only to a point. Like a shiny new toy that eventually becomes a part of your daily routine, having a special power changes your entire world except for things like friendships, financial and physical well-being, and the general circumstance of your life … which is to say, it doesn’t really change your life at all until you start wielding it as a tool.

This realization is crucial to any good origin story – yes, you have great power, but what sort of responsibility will you take on along with it? The kids in this movie are no Clark Kent, Peter Parker or Bruce Wayne – they are typical, modern, bored suburbanites. Their first instinct is not to make the world a better place. Or, more accurately, it is only to make their own worlds a better place, and only in the most superficial and temporary ways.

This is a bit spoilerific, but they made it a poster, so here it is

A chain of dumb teenage decisions leads to ever increasing conflicts until the movie reaches straight up Matrix-level heights of insane Superman-inspired tussles, except it wields them more smartly than either franchise ever has. A protracted fight scene at the end is effectively the best superhero blowout I’ve ever seen short of The Avengers. Low budget effects work lends the film a visceral, tangible heft.

So, Chronicle sticks the landing on the origin story. What about the found footage?

First, it’s not all that shaky. Second, there comes a point in the story where the main characters stop being interested or capable of shooting video of themselves, but by that point the filmmakers have built up several devices to allow us to believably track their story. The transition from intentional to unintentional recording barely registers. The way they record a particularly tense mid-air confrontation is ingenious both in concept and execution.

In the end, Chronicle is a solid indie super flick that explores what it would mean to have powers in the real world, where not every superhero is infallibly noble.

Would Clark Kent really decide to be a clumsy, mild-mannered reporter by day? Would Peter Parker so quickly shrug off the death of his uncle and be a superhero every night, even while trying to pass his classes and keep Aunt May’s house out of foreclosure?

Chronicle says: maybe. You’ll have to watch to understand why

(Thanks to Alex for recommending this one!)

#MusicMonday: “Live and Die” – The Avett Brothers

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I don’t like listening to music on the radio.

That is a generalization. The more specific version is that I have all of the good song that the radio plays on my iPod already sans the lemons and commercials, so why bother? It’s not as if DJs are any more useful than the random function these days.

I make an occasional exception for Philadelphia’s Radio 104.5, because they are an unusual station. They’re alt-rock, but they’re the first station in Philly I heard playing “Fuck You,” and they actually debuted “Rolling in the Deep” to me last year – and, you’ve got to be pretty up on your new releases to get the drop on me hearing an awesome song like that.

Essentially, 104.5 is more alternative than it is rock. Yes, they play their share of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Foo Fighters, but they’re also playing bands fronted by women, and acoustic stuff, and obscure artists not getting play across the country – because Philly likes all of that.

Case and point: a few weeks ago this song came on and immediately became my #1 “I Wish I Wrote That” of 2012. Behold, “Live and Die,” by the Avett Brothers.

I have been vaguely aware of the Avett Brothers, but not especially a fan. Whoa, boy, has that changed.

A few thoughts:

1. Wow, how did this get on the radio? This is like… Folk/Americana music. But not. It’s a pop song played in the Folk/Americana style.

2. He has this awesome squareness to his voice. Like, I highly doubt it is auto-tuned (but, who knows), yet listen to the wonderful control of the descending melody on “I want to love you and mo-oh-oh-ore.” Such perfection.

3. Wow, this kind of sounds like how I want the new Arcati Crisis record to sound.

4. There is nothing wrong with writing a treacly sweet love song. They’re catchy. People like them.

That last one is mostly directed at me.

“Live and Die” is from The Avett Brothers’ forthcoming LP The Carpenter, out on September 11th.

Does the past matter after a reboot?

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To be fair, I don’t know if any of us really wanted to see a fourth film of Maguire’s puffy prematurely-balding version of Peter Parker.

We are living in the age of the reboot.

Last week, Amazing Spider-Man relaunched the webhead’s cinematic universe while the body of the old Tobey Maguire series was still warm. There’s a new Dallas series on TV. Sherlock Holmes revisionist history movies are being released alongside a present-day version of the detective on BBC TV.

So do those older, original versions matter?

Alternate Future History

Think about your favorite TV show or series of books. It’s a serialized, ongoing story that builds with every installment and references its past. You love it. You watch every episode and buy every volume. You are a super-fan.

What if there was some prior series with the same characters and concepts, but it was not a part of the current story you love? Would you buy it? This is increasingly common in our age of reboots. If you loved the new JJ Abrams Star Trek movie – which departs from the traditional Trek timeline post-Enterprise – are the other TV series and films automatically a must-watch? What about past Spider-Man movies, original Dallas, Sherlock Holmes books, Charlie’s Angels, G.I. Joe, Inspector Gadget, or Battlestar Galactica?

To me, Garfield is the perfect embodiment of Peter Parker – thin, gangly, awkward, and genuine.

Probably not. All those past series are just an alternate reality to the present ones. You don’t need to watch both.

Case Study: DC’s Crisis of Collected Editions

DC Comics  is one year into their successful line-wide New 52 reboot. Now they’re faced with a major crisis: they have a huge back catalog of trade paperbacks and hardcovers that might not matter.

DC’s rich history of iconic characters stretches back to 1938. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman – these heroes emerged as pure archetypes and over many decades evolved into the rounder, more dynamic characters they are today. There are many hundreds of older issues of their exploits available to reprint and press into the hands of eager young fans of today.

Action Comics #1, 1938

Except, today’s characters are not the same people – and I don’t just mean their personalities. DC’s Crisis On Infinite Earths rebooted everyone back in 1984, making post-1984 books the equivalent of new-Trek. Some of the characters beneath the masks of Flash and Green Lantern weren’t even the same as before! Then, after many years of tweaking, DC rebooted again last fall – creating a new-new-Trek.

What wasn’t immediately evident from those #1 issues was that some characters survived more intact than others. Batman’s corner of the DC Universe? Seemingly mostly the same, even if Bruce is younger than before. Superman? Origin retold from scratch, parents now dead, never in a relationship with Lois. Wonder Woman? Major changes in the Amazonian status quo, right down to her parentage.

Which brings me to my titular question: do DC Comics Collections matter? Yes, there are the Watchmen and the Killing Joke, the indisputable evergreen classics of the comics medium that will move units regardless of if their stories still count for anything.

But what about DC Archives, their premium hardcover reprints of Golden and Silver Age comics? What about Wonder Woman #205? Action Comics #527? The 70s Green Arrow / Green Lantern series?

Action Comics #1, 2011

None of it counts in continuity, so does it matter anymore? These classic stories have little to nothing to do with the current state of my favorite heroine. They aren’t all prohibitive classics. So, is there any point in reprinting them?

(Marvel doesn’t have this problem. Aside from some isolated soft reboots of certain characters, everything still counts, all the way back to the 40s. Every issue of X-Men is acknowledged and in continuity.)

Does the alternate past matter? You decide.

I want to know what you think. Do older stories still have a place post-reboot? If you loved JJ Abrams’s Star Trek did you immediately jump back to rewatch the original series?

And, on our case study: Should DC even bother to reprint non-seminal stories of characters other than Batman if they don’t matter in current continuity?

What do you think?