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consume

Blink of an Eye

February 10, 2005 by krisis

I’ve tacitly decided to read a book for every week in this year, but the relationship isn’t going to be strictly one-to-one. That is to say, i plan to read books in fits and starts – two here, a handful there – with weeks off in between.

I want to talk about all of the books here because, in my eternal OCD need to track everything in my life, the thing i’ve always wanted to do the most (after tracking every song i listen to) is track all the books i’ve read in and how long it took me to read them. I finished Harry Potter four and five in about a solid 24 hours of reading, and i just finished Tori’s dense Piece by Piece in well under seven.

The problem with talking about these literary conquests is that i’m not really a book reviewer. I am too voracious of a reader, and i suspect that applying my vicious music-critic standards to books would yield extremely few positive write-ups. Plus, i don’t like immediately reacting to a book; i’m more-often-than-not wrong.

If anything, i want to wait until each book has really sunk itself into me, and then talk about the things it made me think. Harry 4/5 brought me back around to loving the intrugue of a fantasy novel. Tori changed the way i look at songwriting and my personal image, my entrenchment in Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking has so far made me think every encounter i’ve hard with a person or a piece of art in the last two days. I was turned on to author Malcom Gladwell through Tom, who posted a link to Gladwell’s entrancing essay on Ketchup.

Blink is a book about the ability to (and science of) discern(ing) things in the most split of seconds. In its third chapter, it discusses the idea of implicit associations, and how scientists at Harvard are trying to measure them. Malcolm posed the question: Do i associate men or woman more with professional careers. After a brief Implicit Association test, he postulated that i probably leaned towards men. As a feminist i was a little offended, but then i remembered he was talking to the general reader, and not me. As i’m not exactly the general reader, i decided to take to the web to try some of these tests for myself.

At Project Implicit i immediately went for a gender-identity test that measured my associations of men and women with science and art. I predicted that i would come up even, or even preferring girls in relation to science; i was, after all, raised a feminist.

I was right! My Gender/Science rating was “little or no association between science and Female relative to Male.” Upbringing aside, it’s not exactly a surprising result, seeing as my best friend is a female chemist and i’m a liberal arts kind of guy.

Next, i chose a test whose result i was honestly quite interested in: the White/Black test. Though i’ve claimed to be completely racially indiscriminate my entire life, i haven’t had a close African American friend since fifth grade, and do not show much affinity for black musical artists. I predicted that i would show slight racial bias on this test. However, i once again discovered that i have little or no preference, this time regarding “African Americans relative to White Americans.”

With two neutral results under my belt, i started to become suspicious of my ability to break even on the tests (i also scored neutral on Kerry v Bush, but that’s like asking me this week how much i like the Eagles). Finally, i settled on two tests that i would surely weigh heavily on: fat vs thin and sexuality.

Rather than confirming my ability to game the test results, these two tests proved to me that the Harvard scientists have a great methodology that may suffer slightly from poor execution. The images on the sexuality test were a lame man-on-man wedding cake topper, its straight counterpart, restroom style semiotic genders standing in male/female and male/male pairs, plus the words straight, gay, homosexual, and heterosexual.

Can you spot the possible flaws? Primary in my mind is that the test lacks anything having to do with lesbians, though it professes that its “gay” designation encompasses both men and women. A second issue is that both of the visual cues were ambiguous at best; why not feature a picture of a straight couple kissing, or a gay couple holding hands? Their graphics and words for homosexuality had no connection to what i instinctively recognize about it (like the word “queer” or a rainbow flag), which left me hopelessly confused the entire time; I scored a moderately positive implicitly “straight,” but i suspect that it was due to my utter confusion.

The fat/thin test drove this major problem home with a specific example: one of the five thin-faced people looked fat to me. I consciously thought she was fat, and i instinctively drilled the “fat” key every time she appeared. Sometimes i’d catch myself just before making the mistake, but i consistently erred on her face. At the end of the test, i was told that i had no preference between thin and fat. I’ll let you, the longtime reader, decide if that statement is true.

Based on this scientific foray, some of the following statements may be true:


a) I am facile enough at computer tests that some natural biases are obscured,

b) The test has a sampling error that could be overcome by discarding words and images the user cannot identify correctly, or allowing the user to self-identify words or images that they recognize as being associated with the given categories,

c) The test measures implicit (unconscious) cultural associations, which should not necessarily be expected to match implicit personal associations, which may not be the same,

d) The test is perfectly functional, though its results are occasionally surprising,

e) After all this time being an equal opportunity feminist, it turns out that i don’t despise G.W., i really don’t prefer being thin, and i much prefer one of the grooms in a commitment ceremony to wear a wedding dress.

To the tests’ collective credit, i wasn’t able to overwhelm the tacit “societal” bias on any of them – neutral is as far as i go. Back in Blink, Malcolm subsequently informs me that over 80% of people make pro-white associations, even after repeated testing.

Maybe it’s not broken; maybe they just should screen out the communications majors after the opening survey. More thoughts on Blink et al in upcoming posts.

Filed Under: books, comm, essays, weblinks

Never Gain Weight

February 8, 2005 by krisis

Do you ever feel as though you are consciously flinging your well-being aside for some sense of reckless self-gratification? That you’re doing something self-destructive, but you don’t care?

Maybe you’re charging something to your credit card that you can’t afford. Maybe you’re eating something you know you really shouldn’t have. Maybe you’re drinking more when you’re already pleasantly drunk.

I have those moments every so often, though on a much smaller scale then I used to. Sometimes as I catch myself doing them – handing over my credit card, or heading into a second row of cookies, I think. Why does it seem so inevitable? What makes this compulsory?

I’m not sure what they’d teach you in counseling for any of those problems but, for me, just asking that question can change my mind. Am I getting the junky donut because I feel like I need energy? Am I buying ten new CDs because they’ll make me happy? Am I strengthening my drink because I think I’ll have more fun if I’m more drunk?

Maybe the difference between someone with an occasional bad habit and someone with a problem is the ability to honestly answer that question, and to evaluate the result.

Some days I just really feel like eating a donut, though.

Filed Under: food, self-aware

The one thing i never could stand about Santa Clara…

November 24, 2004 by krisis

Elise and I watched The Lost Boys last night. I built it up as, “Buffy of the eighties – dark, but quite amusing.” What I forgot is that I probably hadn’t seen this movie in a decade, and that my mind had magnified the few very good moments (mostly in the sequence where Michael first vamps out in the house, but also the trippy “it’s just rice” bit) so that they obscured the many, many, very terrible moments (too numerous to list here). Also, the plot is non-existant – mom got divorced, Michael gawks obscenely at Star (and finally has hot PG-sex with her (in an R movie)) while momo starts dating a creepy guy (grandpa from Gilmore Girls) who owns a tape store on the boardwalk, Michael becomes a vampire, whacky kids and grandpa save the day, fin. Basically, it’s all the plot elements of Buffy without any of the wit that marked it. Also, it’s a Donner/Schulmaker production. Heh.

Really the sort of thing I should be getting drunk to watch with former roommates. Like Beastmaster. Anyhow, Elise lost a touch of respect for my taste in flims, but then she suggested we watch Harry Potter, and the balance was righted.

Filed Under: elise, flicks

Do Something

September 13, 2004 by krisis

This MetaFilter post is today’s required reading. I like to think of myself as having become desensitized to almost all international news about death and suffering, but i find this story to be very disturbing – maybe because it not only involves innocent bystanders, but also journalists.

I’m too tired to go into full-on-rant mode, but there is obviously something very wrong with the American Military system. I don’t think it can be blamed on a single official or administration. A systematic change needs to occur, and i don’t think it’s coming our way anytime soon.

On a note that would only seem related if you were me, i have never been happier to not own a television than during yesterday’s Eagle’s game. Having been close to 100% teeveefree for over two months, for every second of my viewing i was aghast at the utter nonsense and stupidity communicated by almost every aspect of the televised medium. Aside from a handful of cerebral commercials, i felt every aspect of my viewing experience prodding me to lower my perceptions to that of the lowest common denominator of the viewing public.

I am vaguely aware of a “turn off your televisions” week that’s sponsored by some organization at some point of the year. I always found that to be somewhat misguided, both in design and purpose. Does anyone even do it? Do those that do even get the point, or notice the difference? Try turning it off for a month. Try throwing it out.

Television is the ultimate indulgence of utter passivity, the apex of wasted time. Stop watching MTV and write a song. Stop watching soap operas, and dream your own life. I fully recognize that some television can be art (Angels In America), and that apropos wittiness can sometimes make an indulgence worthwhile (Buffy), but most of the time it’s just an excuse not to be doing something else.

Finally, a reminder via my good friend Lindsay. October 3 is the deadline for voter registration for the November Election. If you aren’t registered, have recently moved, or need an absentee ballot, you still have a few weeks to straighten out the details. Specifically, for registration concerns, try Vote For Change, and for issues with locating a polling place try Election Impact.

Most importantly, just vote, goddamnit. Vote for an independent. Write in your mom. I don’t care. The point is not just about choosing but about being a part of the process. I understand that you can’t make it to the polls for every primary or local election; neither can i. This one, however, is a must. If you can’t find the time to vote, or to use the internet to register for an absentee ballot so you don’t have to find the time, I don’t think you need to bother to find the time to read this page. Or speak to me ever again.

Please take today as your opportunity to do something. About anything. Be tangible; effect change.

Filed Under: elections, news, teevee

Self Control

July 28, 2004 by krisis

I imagine that most people, including myself on occasion, have a reflex to tell them to stop eating something before they’ve had to much, other than a gag reflex. Maybe you sense that you’ve been through a serving size. Maybe your taste-buds are feeling worn out. Maybe you just don’t want any more.

There are many foods that I have eaten too much of. I am a fan of ice cream. I eat sushi with delight. My love for scappels knows no bounds. However, at some point, I can stop eating all of these foods. However, I cannot conjure any of these reactions when it comes to popcorn. You could literally strap a feed bag of popcorn around my neck, and I would probably continue to eat it until my stomach could not contain any more.

Plain, lightly salted, heavily buttered or carmelled, I don’t know what it is, really. I can eat it at movies even after having a full dinner. At home, I occasionally eat it in lieu of dinner. When my coworkers (not realizing the inherent danger of such a purchase) goaded me into buying a bag as big as my entire torso to snack from at work, I finished it in under 48-hours.

Is this just an indication of larger impulse-control issues? Or, is popcorn my dietary kryptonite, the one food that evades all of my defenses? Do you have a food like this, or does this revelation just confirm that I am a total mutant?

Filed Under: food, music

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