Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

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30 for 30 Project, 1987: “Alone” – Heart

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Allow me to explain how Heart’s 80’s power-ballad “Alone” is the best possible illustration of why this project is such a positive endeavor for me.

Heart is the combination of Ann and Nancy Wilson, and their first two LPs – Dreamboat Annie and Little Queen – are solid gold in my book. Yet, in the early 80s the group faltered with two poorly-received albums, and seemed to be headed for a fade out.

Then they released their biggest hit to date – 1985’s self-titled Heart, and followed it up with the strong Bad Animals in 1987.

What changed? A quick look at the liner notes will tell you. The two lesser successes were written entirely by the Wilsons. The two hits include more outside co-writers, and some songs not written by the band.

Case and point: “Alone” is Heart’s biggest hit, and it was written by Tom Kelly & Billy Steinberg – the major songwriting guns responsible for “Like a Virgin,” “True Colors,” “So Emotional,” and “Eternal Flame,” among other hits.


(Watch me cover “Alone” on YouTube. For more info on my 30 for 30 Project, visit my intro post or view the 30for30 tag.)

(Today’s video features special guest-star E, who can be heard elsewhere as the lead singer of Filmstar, because I could not bear to play this song sans its signature harmony. You can see us both play as Filmstar on Thursday night at North Star Bar around 9:45p, or for free on October 15 at Fergies @ 10pm).  [Read more…] about 30 for 30 Project, 1987: “Alone” – Heart

Gina’s Bachelorette Adventure, Pt. 5

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Gina models her Level 1 Veil as Bridal Partier Mikki sprays on her first magical rune.

After months of preparation, the day of Gina’s real life video game bachelorette party adventure had finally arrived!

Actually, it wasn’t the day that arrived, but the day before, which brought with it fellow bridal party member Kelly and her partner Gudrun. They pulled up to my house on a beautiful sunny day to put the finishing touches on Gina’s party.

Kelly brought two suitcases into my house – one with her traveling gear, and one packed with supplies for the party. There were her insane 8-bit pins, special puff-painted hats for the chemistry dance, and more. She had even made a lovely fluffy white veil for Gina to wear at the beginning of the day, when we would lure her into a false sense of complacency that her bridal party would be quite normal and not an insane reality show crossed with The Legend of Zelda.

As Kelly finished unpacking, two curious items emerged from her suitcase. One was a headband with a lightning bolt affixed to it. The other was a yet-to-be-assembled hat bearing two feathered wings.

“I know we talked about making Gina wear silly things,” Kelly confessed, “and I started thinking about all the power-ups Mario collects. I thought we could give her these to replace the veil.”

I nodded, gears spinning inside of my brain.

“Kelly…”

I’m not sure that Kelly knows me well enough to see the crazy emerging in my eyes when I come up with a complicated new idea to make something harder, but I think E spotted it from across the room.

“…you know how Gina has to defeat a “boss encounter” at the end of every stage in the city?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what if when she defeats the challenge she wins a new hat… a new piece of armor… a new piece of SPECIAL BRIDAL ARMOR…”

“Yes!” Kelly exclaimed, making clear the special brand of insanity she shares with both Gina and I, “and she’ll get special powers! The hat with wings will give her flight!”

I wield the exceptionally large Game Master version of the instruction book to explain the final encounter of the first stage of Gina’s Adventure.

“Yes! … Except, how exactly do we make Gina fly?”

“I have no idea.”

“Yeah, me neither. Well, do you at least have enough ridiculous pieces of armor for every stage?”

Kelly inventoried her items. The fluffy veil. The winged hat. The lightning bolt headband. A labcoat, to be bedazzled.

“We’re only short one,” Kelly reported, “plus I want to make her a sort of punk rock veil to wear at the end of the day.”

Both of our gears now spinning, we headed out to take Gudrun on a tour of suburban shopping meccas in order to gather the final elements of the adventure: tulle for a punk veil, a massive roll of paper to construct banners, and one more piece of bridal armor. Oh, and beer.

When we found a purple tulle and tiny black flowers for the punk veil plus a fuzzy rainbow boa at Joanne Fabrics it all clicked in my head. When we returned to the house I left Kelly downstairs to craft and ran up to my office to draft the instruction booklet… [Read more…] about Gina’s Bachelorette Adventure, Pt. 5

The 30 for 30 Project

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When I hatched one of my typically insane musical project ideas – to record 30 songs from the 30 years of my life for my 30th birthday (maybe in the 30 days of September?) – I was working from the assumption it would stay an idea due to my perfectionism. The concept would be safely tucked away as an iTunes playlist with all of the other covers projects that I’d never started.

"Endless Love" by Diana Ross & Lionel Richie was the number one record in America the day I was born. While I won't say that I'll NEVER cover it, you definitely won't be hearing it later today as my pick from 1981.

Then, August happened. I kept posting every day, and really enjoying it. I finally found a blogging rhythm, eleven years into my experiment. I thought, maybe the idea isn’t so crazy after all. Maybe I should do it.

The issue is that I haven’t recorded any new solo music since we moved into the house last June. I have hatched half a dozen cool projects in my head, but I haven’t launched a single one.

This seems paradoxical. I have a studio now. Space to set up and stay set up without having to drape suit jackets over my microphone poles and check email from within a lattice of quarter-inch cables.

I mean that literally. At the old house my studio was my office was my dressing room. It was common to find a discarded microphone atop a pile of wireframe sketches and freshly laundered underwear. Gear shared a walk-in closet with board games and old copies of Rolling Stone. Switching to a different guitar meant risking sending up a tinker-tape parade of brightly colored Monopoly money in my hallway if I moved a box the wrong way.

And you know what? It didn’t stop me. I recorded two seasons of Trio, four Arcati Crisis Live @ Rehearsals, and over a dozen solo demos that became my Brown Bag Demos, Vol. 1. Now I have an entire attic committed solely to recording, and the well has suddenly run dry.

Actually, the well is quite wet. I have the best intentions. The new wrinkle is that with space to set up a perfect signal chain the issue is no longer my willingness, but my perfection. Everything has to be perfect. Perfectly planned, perfectly rehearsed, perfectly executed.

The Rolling Stones' 18th American LP, Tattoo You, held the top album spot when I was born. I won't be playing "Start Me Up" at any point in this project.

Perfect makes things hard. Bobbling that one chord change? Delay it. Tickle in my throat? Cancel it.

30 for 30 is different. I am not promising perfection. I am not promising that I’m going to get it done in 30 days. I am not promising you will know all the songs. I am not promising polished studio cuts. I am not promising all of the covers will be perfectly played.

And, I am certainly not representing it as a collection of my favorite, most-cherished songs.

No. All of that leads to perfectionism paralysis.

What I am promising is a single take video play-through of a song from every year from 1981 to 2010, with some commentary along the way. No cherished favorites. No multi-track demos. No perfection.

Just me and the music.

30 for 30 starts later today, in 1981.

Things to Do In Philly, 8/31 Edition

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The CK extended family is rocking so many high quality shows of their own in the next week that I probably can’t get out to much else. While I might selfishly hope that you’re going to come out just to the fam events, thanks to the Philly Fringe Fest you have plenty of other choices.

This is my version of the highlight reel, the sole criteria for inclusion being: do I dig it?

Filmstar playing the Blame-a-Thon, as shot by me.

First, here’s the family affairs:

Thursday, 9/8
Who: Filmstar, featuring your author and the lovely E
Details: 8p, $10, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., Philly
Why? This will be my first time on stage at North Star Bar, though pre-me Filmstar rocked it at the now-legendary #blamedrewscancer marathon. We’ll whip out a few newer tunes, plus have copies of The Desperate Times EP to place in your hot little hands. We’ll share the stage with Mean, Secret Music, and Kyle Andrews.

Friday 9/2 & Saturday 9/3
What: The Gray Area, an original Fringe play produced by Gina!
Details: 8:30p, $10, The Walking Fish Theatre, 2509 Frankford Ave, Philly
Why? Gina & the rest of Ocelot On a Leash Theatre Company (of which I am a proud alum) have yet to produce a dud, and this is definitely not going to be the first. The company commissioned a series of Twilight Zone-esque short plays from local author Mark Wolverton and wrote some of their own pieces. To enforce the retro sci-fi Zone vibe, they’ll present the works in simulated black & white – including costumes, sets, props, and even the actors! If you miss it this week, the plays run again next Friday through Sunday at the Rotunda.

Wednesday, 9/7 through Sunday, 9/11
What: Checkers, an original one-man Fringe show
Details: various times, $15, The Fleisher Art Memorial Sanctuary, 719 Catharine Street, Philly
Why? Producer Mary Stewart is a longtime partner in crime of mine, and she acts as one of my major barometers of what’s good in the local arts scene. If she produces a show, I’m there. This year her choice is this one-man show developed by Mark Kennedy. In the spirit of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Mark explores the life of a minor character from Witold Gombrowicz’s already-absurd fairytale Ivona, Princess of Burgundiam. In the original play, the royal family has it in for Ivona because she’s too ugly to contribute to their gene pool. Here, Checkers the servant turns out to be hopelessly smitten with the decidedly un-fair Ivona. I’ve already bought into the show via their Kickstarter campaign, mostly on the strength of their oddball Tumblr featuring posts from Kennedy in-character as Checkers.

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What’s in store for the next week from the rest of my favorites? Behold:

Thursday 9/1
Who: Venice Sunlight & Stonethrown
Details: 8p, $8, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., Philly
Why? Venice Sunlight is an awesome pop/rock band packed with slick riffs that puts on a high-energy show. Stonethrown is as close to Muse as you can get in the Philly scene – squalling rock with high-wire male vocals. They play first on a bill with Modern Suits and I Am Lightning.

Friday 9/2
Who: An Acoustic Evening with The Weepies
Details: 8p, $26, TLA, 4th & South, Philly
Why? The Weepies turned in one of the best albums of 2010, which I called “Cloying, cheerful pop-folk melodies so distinct that it’s often easy to forget that a band is playing beneath them.” The chance to see them reproduce those tunes in a stripped down show is hard to pass up.

Sunday 9/4
Who: Adrien Reju w/Pete Donnelly
Details: 7:30p, $10, Tin Angel, 20 S. 2nd St., Philly
Why? We’ve established I have a ton of local favorites, which maybe devalues my favorites currency – but not only do I adore songwriter Adrien Reju – E loves her. And E’s a hard one to crack when it comes to local music. With that double endorsement in mind, check out Adrien co-headlining a special birthday show with her producer from standout LP A Million Hearts. Last time we saw her she wielded a slew of unbelievably great new songs, which have now had nearly a year to simmer.

Thursday 9/8
Who: Brian Flanagan Band
 Details: Noon, FREE! @ Love Park, 15th & Arch
Why? Brian Flanagan graduated from covers at open mics to originals to fronting a band that plays sure, 70s-style singer-songwriter acoustic rock in the vein of Jackson Browne and Brian’s influencers Ray Davies and the Kinks. If you’re a Center City worker, spend your lunch break with the tasty gourmet food carts in Love Park and enjoy a free serenade.

Gina’s Bachelorette Adventure, Pt. 4

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The fourth post in this series finds your author all of three days before Gina’s Bachelorette Party AKA All-Day Adventure and I am, let’s say, FREAKING OUT.

Gina modeling a vast collection of our stenciled icons in action on Gina's back late in the day in her bachelorette adventure (while Mikki and I spray more stencils int he background). As you can imagine, we had to spray these quickly and in highly public spaces.

Allow me to set the scene for you. It is eight or nine at night. I am on my side patio, which I like to pretend is private but really is quite in full view of anyone passing directly in front of our house.

I am wearing only my underwear. My blindingly white naked torso vibrates against the dusk like a bike reflector. I am dual-wielding two cans of spray paint against a defenseless bag of planting soil, which is wearing a plain white t-shirt. The shirt bears several iterations of the Starfleet symbol, some in black spray paint, others apparently colored in with a marker.

I swear, if photographs of this scene existed, I would totally share one.

Why this utter madness? Let’s travel back in time two days. As the guy on the ground in Philly, I was on the receiving end of the various bachelorette party supplies selected by Kelly (in Belgium) and Mikki (in Seattle). Both women are so ridiculously kitschy and crafty that it defies explanation. I received many things. A box of 30 pink t-shirts. A set of Erlenmeyer flasks and graduated cylinders. A package of vaguely phallic sidewalk chalk.

What I did not receive was spray paint for branding our t-shirts.

The t-shirt iconography had become central to our gamification concept for the party, with Gina choosing a team for every challenge. If the team defeated the challenge, they would be branded with a special stenciled badge. Think of it as “Foursquare: LIVE!”

Despite working all day in the midst of a team full of craft maniacs, I am not in the least bit crafty. I’m not even good at speculating about methods of craft. I am good at desktop publishing and subsequently printing things on high end paper. That’s about the extent of my crafting abilities. I am not great at creating things with my hands. I still have problems changing guitar strings.

Thus, the spray paint issue was very … concerning. Three days to the party seemed like the time we should be testing the spray paint, to make sure it would work. Kelly and Mikki had mentioned a few potential brands in their emails, but I couldn’t find any online that I could get shipped in three days, because spray paint can only be shipped via ground.  I started researching other spray paint, discovering that most of it needed to be sealed with heat before it set. Every time I found something that sounded like it might work (including, hilariously, “Hunters [sic] Specialties Permanent Camo”) I ordered it for the fastest shipping possible, all the while getting increasingly frustrated that I was researching spray paint at all instead of writing Gina’s instruction book.

The very highly recommended spray paint choice of Kelly and Mikki was "Montana Gold Acrylic Spray Paint," which comes in every possible color, including metallics.

Remember how I recently shared a leadership assessment that said that I have a strong future vision while focusing on data and clearing obstacles? Well, it also told me that under stress I become myopic and focus only on information overload and slaying things.

It’s not a big leap to the scene that opened this post. I had five cans of assorted spray paint and two markers lined up and had dressed a 40lb sack of dirt in one of my old t-shirts. At a loss for an icon I could quickly stencil out of a sheet of cardboard, I went back to basics: the starfleet insignia. Not wanting to get spray paint on my clothes (even clothes I’ve set aside specifically in a bin entitled, “for painting”), I elected to strip down to a pair of blue bikini briefs to conduct this exercise.

Welcome to my brain. It is a scary place.

The next morning Kelly and Mikki talked me down from my panic after I sent them not the sanest or nicest email I have ever written. They helped me figure out which local stores carried the paint they both recommended, and Kelly assured me we could visit one together when she arrived stateside. Mel coaxed me away from my desk at lunch and convinced me I would not have a panic attack from entering a craft store. I bought the recommended spray paint.

Problem: solved!

Now we had all of the necessary elements for Gina’s party, save for three: Kelly, Mikki, and the instruction book that would lay out the rules of the game and all of the various challenges.

Oh. Just that.

Tune in next time for Kelly and my madcap adventures the day before the party, how an off-hand mention of a “side-quest” turned into the most hilarious part of the event, and samples from the now legendary instruction book.