Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

only you can prevent our transformation into a society of unthinking automatons that will be subsequently infiltrated by shapeshifting alien robots

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I want you all to engage in a minor social experiment slash disruption with me for the rest of the week.

One of my vows in life is to answer completely and honestly when relative strangers and vague acquaintances inquire “how’s it going?” or “how have you been?”

"A neural transceiver is required for maximum communication. Why do you resist? We only wish to raise quality of life for all species."

I know that these are meant to be comforting, routine, call-and-response queries. Just like saying “amen” in church at all the right times, they’re not supposed to be about meaningful engagement. More like a rote reply to indicate you’re awake and semi-functioning as a human being.

Except, would any of these routine queries actually screen me out if I was a shapeshifter, robot, or alien in disguise? No. These are the sort of rudimentary things you would learn in “Infiltrating the Society of Those Meddling Humans 101.” Said infiltrating shapeshifter/robot/alien can respond in one of three ways:

1. Single Word Superlative (“outstanding”)
2. Two Word Adverb/Adjective Combo Describing a State of Being (“kinda busy”)
3. Deflection Via Mention of Present Meteorological Phenomenon (“it keeps raining!”)

Advanced students may also learn to deflect by griping about the most recent loss by a local sports club, but that would indicate an unusually high sensitivity to human culture that would be better used to infiltrate a more nuanced medium, like cable news.

"I'm through with the Philliessssssss breaking my heart."

It’s not just that these “testing for humanity” queries are not doing their job – they’re actually doing the opposite. They are dehumanizing us. They are meant to turn us into a society of undifferentiated call-and-response automatons.

I refuse to play this daily charade, and invite you to join me in my protest. For the rest of this week, if a semi-stranger asks you one of these routine queries, respond with a unique insight into your life.

It doesn’t have to be lengthy, or revealing. Just tell them something they’re not going to hear from anyone else. Today my reply is:

I’m feeling very optimistic, because I put a lot of big things into motion yesterday at work and at home. I hope today is as awesome. Plus, I get to play two great new songs with my wife’s band tonight at rehearsal!

Will you join me in my crusade? As a side effect, we’ll be making our culture more resistant to infiltration by shapeshifting alien robots.

Crushing On: RedCo Audio

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RedCo Audio saved my studio, my sanity, and my bank account. If you are wiring a studio, a patch bay, a home theatre, or any other kind of DIY multimedia project you should buy your cables exclusively from RedCo.

Is that a ringing enough endorsement?

Let’s backtrack for a second. In every occupation, hobby, or pastime there are hidden costs that do not reveal themselves until you are in too deep to avoid them.

Well, maybe not entirely hidden, but at least not obvious. When you buy a new photo printer, you know it will need paper and ink, but you aren’t always thinking about how expensive those glossy papers and photo inks will be, and how you might need a new card reader for all your massive files.

The same goes for any musical hobby. You assume your big expenditures will be your instrument, amplification, and various tone devices – and wow that is already a lot to expend, let me tell you. Instead of equipping myself to play bass from scratch in the last 12 months I could have put a down payment on a brand new car or a timeshare.

Eventually you get there. I did, and I am historically terrified of electric rock signal chain technology. I’d prefer something lower-fi, like a stick tied to a washtub. But I persevered – I got my ideal instrument and signal chain set up in my custom home studio, only to realize I didn’t have enough cables, and when I looked them up online I found that a 2ft patch cable costs THIRTY DOLLARS.

WHY WOULD THAT BE?

This actually looks pretty elegant, as washtub basses go.

I have learned my lesson from cheap cables that crap out every six months. I now understand that the cheapest option will always cost you double in the long run. After nearly falling out of my chair from seeing how much the patch cable was I hesitantly searched for the 35ft XLR I needed from high-end brands like Mogami and Monster…

…all the blood rushed from my face. I almost fell out of my chair.

I was going to have to drain my entire savings account to cable my studio. Not only that, but the cables weren’t even what I needed! In one case I needed a 35ft, not 50ft, and right angle TS connector, not straight TRS – but that didn’t exist. I’d be spending a mint on the wrong options!

Enter RedCo Audio. They are a small company in Connecticut specializing in hand-made custom cables. And, not just custom lengths. You can pick everything from the gauge of the cable down to the angle of the connection. They can make audio cables, coax connections, and custom multi-channel snakes. They have every option you could every imagine, including the very same materials used by Mogami and other boutique brands.

A 50ft Mogami studio-quality XLR? $110 list price. A 50ft RedCo XLR with the same materials? $55. That doesn’t even account for the fact that you might only need 45ft, and wouldn’t mind a lighter cable gauge. (New price? $38)

A $300 spend at RedCo got me a dozen new cables totaling over 250 feet, which would have cost more than $1000 to buy retail. I’ll admit, it was super-confusing to pick all the right cables and connectors, but I left notes in each order about what I planned to use the cable for and RedCo gave me an unexpected personal call to recommend a few changes in my order, which they made for no additional cost.

Two weeks later, I had a box of brand new custom cables on my doorstep, each the perfect solution to a need in my home studio.

I love RedCo Audio. Love love love. I will never in my life buy studio cable anywhere else, and I’ll always get exactly what I need.

DC New 52 Review: Superman #1

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Superman has been dangled like a carrot over readers’ noses all through DC’s 52 debut month, from his hot-headed flashback appearances in Justice League and Action Comics to his benevolent present day cameos in Swamp Thing and Supergirl.

The promise was implicit: you’ll get your full dose of Superman in the title with his name on it. Not only that, but that his modern depiction would help to contextualize the superheroes that appeared throughout all 52 books.

Well, we’ve arrived. 51 books later and it’s time to unveil the boy in blue in the present tense – in the capable hands of comics veteran George Perez.

Superman #1

Script & breakdowns George Perez, pencils & inks by Jesus Merino

Rating: 2 of 5 – Uneven

In a Line: “Superman, however, was occupied with other matters.”

#140char Review: Superman #1 is all the reasons modern readers mock 80s comics. Perez way overdoes it on script in this tangled one-shot plot.

CK Says: Skip it

Superman #1 under-delivers, focusing on every possible detail except for Superman. Classic creator George Perez over-scripts this allegory about print media living past the digital wrecking ball. Despite keeping this plot confined to a one-shot and fitting in a super-brawl, this issue was a chore to read.

This issue is too obsessed with text. Do we really need to know all the ins and outs of the Daily Planet’s newfound home in a major media empire? Perez chooses to defray his heavy-handed narrative voice-over by assigning it to in-story speakers, but it just makes things worse.

From the mayor’s overbearing introductory speech to a nonsensical newspaper article that reads like a bad blog post fraught with grammatical errors, Perez presents an unfortunate example of why modern comic readers tend to mock the overly-narrated issues of the 70s and early 80s.

If there is one aspect of the issue safe from criticism, it’s the artwork. Perez’s breakdowns guide artist Jesus Merino to fine issue of art – where’s it’s not obscured by text balloons, that is. A Courtney Cox inspired Lois winds up the star of the issue, and like Cox she’s an ageless blend of leggy starlet and purring cougar.

A one page diversion that sets up Stormwatch makes no more sense here than it would in any other title, except this is the ostensible present-day super-flagship. It’s still awkward.

In a graphic design nitpick, center-aligned narration boxes that contain entire paragraphs are a bad move. Readers don’t want to drag their eyes down a ragged left margin of text in a box. It’s confusing.

Superman #1 is a disappointing delivery given the buildup we’ve seen all month. While I’d welcome a series of one-shot stories showing the Man of Steel in action, I don’t think Perez’s narrative style jibes with Metropolis – especially when the ultra-efficient Grant Morrison is the other scripter in town.