Crushing Krisis

Comic Books, Drag Race, & Life in New Zealand

Comic Book Review: X-Men Blue #1 by Bunn, Molina, Buffagni, Milla, & Caramagna – Nostalgia reigns supreme in this dull debut

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Nostalgia is a tricky thing.

When we’re young, nostalgia allows us to unlock something secret and cool that we missed out on. I remember being so excited about flare-legged jeans and crazy-patterned polyester shirts in the mid-90s when the late 60s and early 70s were cool again.

They spoke to me because I felt like a kid out of time. I was more interested in actually picking out clothing than ever before. And, that hippy-influenced fashion let me into my own interpretation of glam rock tinged with goth, full of vinyl, flowy black shirts, and body glitter.

I’m not sure that anyone who lived through those fashions the first time was as eager as I was to see their return. Nostalgia is different when we’re older. Some elements might recall warm, fuzzy, pleasant feelings of youth, but we don’t get to pick and choose what our collective culture decides to recycle. Other throwbacks bombard us with the awful trends and noise we winced and tried to avoid back in the day.

For every transformative piece of nostalgia that is filled with a fresh inspiration, there are a hundred old things re-inflated like ancient hot-air balloons. These husks totter up into the the cultural horizon for a second flight, tattered and looming over our shoulders. They crowd out the sky for the young and old alike, strangling new ideas. Sometimes it feels like they even blot out the sun.X-Men_Blue_2017_0001

Nostalgia can be dangerous to the young and old alike. It can crowd the horizon of new art, of fresh fashion and music. And, if you’re not careful, it becomes a self-sustaining feedback loop, constantly comforting you with copies of copies of copies of something that once made you feel something – or, worse, something that made other people feel a feeling that you’re eager to capture for your own.

Nostalgia is a tricky, dangerous thing. If you’re not careful, it can suffocate you.

X-Men Blue (2017) #1

Written by Cullen Bunn with line art by Jorge Molina (A-story) and Matteo Buffagni (B-story) with color art by Matt Milla and lettering by VC’s Joe Caramagna. Primary cover by Arthur Adams and Peter Steigerwald.

CK Says: Skip it! 

X-Men Blue #1 is part of Marvel’s relaunch of its full line of mutant books, but this one is not like the others. Rather than inject new life into a battered franchise, it seeks to hook readers through nostalgia for a group of tired characters that weren’t even that great the first time around.

(And, that’s before we get to the crushingly stupid back-up story.)

On the surface, X-Men Blue is a zippy, one-shot “high adventure on the high seas” story with a recognizable team of the five original X-Men tackling some familiar foes. That surface level is going to play out fine for a lot of readers. It will push some nostalgia buttons for some and “access to nostalgia” buttons for others.

Both sets of readers might be forgetting that these original mutants have never been the most interesting team. What was so special about them back in the 1960s (and in many flashbacks to the period) was using these every-teen archetypes to uncover a world filled with vivid villains paired with disarmingly plain everyday discrimination.

Why invite them to the present day, aside from nostalgia? It was the handiwork of Beast in 2013 to try to show Cyclops how far he had strayed from when they were as wide-eyed teens. That’s a great idea for a single story, but editorially no one seems sure why the characters are still around other than the fact that a few thousand people keep buying their book.

Author Cullen Bunn has little to say on the topic in this first issue. He’s been his best at Marvel writing Magneto for the past few years, but X-Men Blue doesn’t yet have the morally gray allure of those stories (though, it would be a brilliant way to re-contextualize these characters). [Read more…] about Comic Book Review: X-Men Blue #1 by Bunn, Molina, Buffagni, Milla, & Caramagna – Nostalgia reigns supreme in this dull debut

Spring Thing: Darby Creek Trail

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When we awoke this morning and glimpsed an ultra-beautiful day outside, EV6 and I determined we could not simply roll on with our typical Tuesday morning errands routine.

EV6 has been agitating for a return trip to Morris Arboretum’s Tree Adventure, but I find their admission to be a bit steep for what’s on the grounds – especially when we’re members of the massive Longwood Gardens! Still, I liked her plan of getting outside and being surrounded by trees.

Darby CreekThen, I remembered reading a Philly.com article about the newly-opened Chester Creek trail, a newly rehabbed stretch of old train tracks that’s not far from here. The article unhelpfully didn’t provide a website or an address for the trail, but it linked to The Circuit Trails, a very pretty and mostly useless website that also lists trails without directions or maps, but links to ChesterCreekTrail.org, a site about the trail without directions or a map.

Wow, this internet thing is pretty hard to do!

Luckily, Circuit Trails linked to the actually useful TrailLink, which revealed the mysterious and previously quite secret location of the the Chester Creek Trail! It was about a half hour away, and I didn’t relish the idea of an hour of car time to take EV6 on her first hike, which might spectacularly fail. Luckily, TrailLink makes it easy to search for other trails in your area, and we found a pair less than half that far from our house!

(By the way, the addresses of the two ends of the Chester Creek Trail are North – 439-446 Lenni Rd, Media, PA 19063 and South – 249 Knowlton Rd, Media, PA 19063).

The trail we chose was The Darby Creek Trail, a single mile of completely paved trail running north alongside 476 from where it crosses Route 1. Not only was it short, paved, and nearby, it included another feature that won EV6 over: a playground!

EV6 was so excited by the prospect of a hike plus playground that I think it was the fastest we’ve ever left the house in the morning!

As for the trail, I’d call it more of a pleasant jogging path than a hike, but it’s ideal for practicing with little legs because of the brief length and the even, asphalt-covered ground. That also makes it ideal for kids to practice riding their bikes, especially since there are no interruptions to the trail or sharp curves!

There were a few attractive stopping points at the creekside where families were fishing or dipping their toes. The creek was surprisingly unspoiled for lying just a few yards from the side of a highway (it’s shielded by a high retaining wall), and the white noise of the rushing cars actually added to the feeling of seclusion.

EV6 decided that she ought to use the mile as interval training. After all of her sprinting, by the end of it she was pretty wiped out and begging for her snack of apple sauce. I don’t think it had quite sunk in that we needed to reverse course and re-walk the entire mile to get back to the car! She wouldn’t have made it back if not for the promise of some playground time at the end.

While the walk itself wasn’t so thrilling, its proximity to a ton of our Route 1 errand locations makes it likely we’ll use this for our morning exercise on cool, sunny days like this one in the next few months. Plus, we’ll be back later this week to enjoy a bike ride!

Darby Creek Trail’s address is literally “Darby Creek Trail,” Havertown, PA 19083, but you could also dial in the playground, Merry Place, 600 Glendale Road, 19083.

New Comic Guide: All of the Robins!

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This is the final of four weeks of Bat-Guides before we switch to a a more “universal” theme for the next few weeks. And, you can’t have Bat-Guides without The Definitive Guide to Robin(s)!

Yes, that’s Robins – plural.

This guide tracks each Robin for as long as they bear the title from Dick Grayson debuting in Detective Comics (1937) #38 to Damian Wayne’s current reign as the Boy Wonder.

Before starting this guide I knew there were four distinct Boy Wonders (and one Girl Wonder), but I was confused about who was Robin when. It seems like Grayson has been Nightwing since time immortal – I’ve never read a story with him as Robin that wasn’t a flashback! When did he get upgraded?

Plus, I remembered Jason Todd dying back in the 80s (and coming back in the 00s), but when did he initially arrive? And, while I’m now a Damian Wayne expert from working on the Morrison Batman guide, what exactly was a Red Robin and when did Tim Drake start calling himself that?

I untangle all of those questions in this guide. It’s Robin-centric, so it does not follow Nightwing and Red Hood into their post-Robin adventures (they will be covered by future guides).

What it does do is track every Robin title, plus all of the many Robins’ appearances in Batman flagships and Titans titles from the Golden Age through present.

Plus, the Robin(s) Guide has a few new elements, including collapsable sections for lengthy issue lists and links back to the top of the TOC.

Okay, now it’s time for the tough question: Who is your favorite Boy Wonder? Post-Robin careers don’t count (a-hem, Nightwing). I’m talking about who was the best Robin?

“And who in their right mind purposely orders hard shell tacos?”

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Scene: Our friend Chris, on Facebook, posts the following images:

 

Chris [typing]: “Wait. It only holds TWO tacos? A TRI-ceratops taco holder only holds TWO tacos. Terrible planning.”

Interior, living room.

P: “It’s a triceratops and it only holds two tacos.”

E: “That’s why you need a whole fleet.”

P: “No. It’s a TRI-ceratops and it only holds two tacos.”

E: “Well, it’s TRY-ing.”

And, scene.

RuPaul’s Drag Race Power Rankings, S09E03 – “Draggily Ever After”

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This week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race had one of the most peculiar challenges of all time!

The remaining 13 queens presented fully-developed princess characters on the runway, but each one had to be accompanied by a dweeby floating-head sidekick which later had an animated body added to it.

Maybe some fans weren’t into this Roger Rabbit, Space Jam sort of realness, but I loved the juxtaposition – plus, I adore any challenge where the queens have to get literary.

This week on Untucked, the safe queens opined that most of them belonged in the top group, and I can’t help but agree. I think all of them were better than the queens that remained on the stage (yes, even Trinity).

Despite loving drag even as a child that I’ve only been in what I’d call “full drag” – with makeup and everything – twice in my life. One of those times was for Halloween, the other was on stage. Both were now half a life ago during my willowy, longhaired youth when I would easily pass for a woman just walking down the street.

Thinking and looking back at those occasions, getting dressed up specifically to read as “woman” and not “man in dress” was still a challenge. Even with an easy-to-dress figure, soft features, and no issue with affecting a feminine walk, there were still a hundred details to presenting myself as womanly I had to figure out. Not just padding, make-up, and jewelry, but how to stand with my legs held demurely or how to toss my hair.

That’s why for me drag is not only about a heightened reality of womanhood and blurred gender lines, but also a reminder of the exceptional expectations the world places on every woman, every day. Women are held to a ridiculous standard of seamless beauty whenever they leave the house, always treated by some as an object which must always make itself worthy of attention.

And, if they have the temerity to appear in front of a camera? I believe the term for the world’s expectation is “picture perfect.”

Is there some hypocrisy to me – a guy who hasn’t been in a dress for many years – ranking queens who do this professionally multiple nights a week on their picture perfectness? Absolutely! At the same time, there’s a reason why I watch Drag Race and not a single other reality TV show, and that’s to see people at the height of their craft showing off their abilities.

I know that even on my best day I probably couldn’t do drag as good as the last-place contestant in any season of Drag Race. However, I’ve also done a lot of the other things they have to do to win – some professionally – and I think it’s fascinating to dissect their performances.

With that off my chest, let’s begin! [Read more…] about RuPaul’s Drag Race Power Rankings, S09E03 – “Draggily Ever After”